AITA for making my younger sister watch my baby?

In a cozy apartment, a young mom scrambles to cover a rare weekend work shift, her deployed fiancé miles away. With daycare closed, she turns to her 18-year-old sister, who lives rent-free in her home, for help watching her 1-year-old son. What should’ve been a simple favor explodes into a family feud, with hurt feelings, angry texts from parents, and a sister crying foul.

This Reddit AITA post peels back the layers of family duty and personal boundaries, leaving readers buzzing. Was the mom wrong to lean on her sister, or is a one-time favor fair game?

‘AITA for making my younger sister watch my baby?’

I 24f have my own apartment. My fiancé is deployed and I have a 1 year old son. My younger sister Ella18 lives with me. She pays no rent, and goes to the nearby college. She has no job and I financially support her since she is in school. Our parents live 3 hours away so it was a better fit.

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I work 5 days a week, and my son is in daycare. I got called in on a Saturday (I’m off weekends and the daycares closed weekends) and I pleaded with my sister to watch my son. She refused, and told me it was her weekend off from school and she had a lot of studying to do. I told her I really needed her to do this for me, I never ask her.

She told me I should just find a sitter online. I told her no, you need to watch him, I take care of you and you can do this one thing for me, or you can go back and live with our parents. She got really upset and said I’m throwing what i do for her in her face, and how she’s an adult and my son wasn’t her kid.

She did agree though and I went to work. While I was on break I checked my phone and had numerous text from my parents saying I was abusing my power over my sister, and that my son wasn’t her responsibility. I never ever ask my sister for help with the baby. She lives with me so she’s able to go to the school she wanted to go too.

Family dynamics can turn a small request into a big blowup. The young mom, stretched thin by work and parenting, asked her sister, who lives rent-free, to watch her son once. The sister’s refusal, citing schoolwork, and the parents’ accusations of “abusing power” reveal a clash: the mom’s need for support versus the sister’s claim to independence.

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This highlights the strain of unspoken expectations in family arrangements. The sister benefits from free housing, yet resists contributing, framing the request as unfair. Dr. Susan Newman, a social psychologist, says, “Reciprocity strengthens family bonds, but clear boundaries prevent resentment.” The mom’s financial support created an implicit expectation of occasional help, unmet by the sister’s stance.

The broader issue is balancing family help with personal goals. The sister, focused on college, may feel overwhelmed, but her outright refusal overlooks the mom’s rare plea. A compromise—like watching the child for a few hours—could’ve eased tension. The mom might clarify expectations, like occasional babysitting, or set formal terms, like rent or chores. For readers, this underscores communication: discuss roles upfront to avoid guilt-tripping.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit’s got some fiery takes, laced with humor and blunt advice. Here’s what users think about this sisterly showdown:

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Popular_Error3691 − NTA. I love the people saying 'but the agreement' to what? Not pay any bills and not contribute? The sister can do one f**king thing in the home. It would be more if she was freeloading off me.

Mysterious_Bridge_61 − NTA. She is living with you for free. This was an exceptional circumstance. Like if the plumbing needing to be fixed and you asked her to stay home to let the plumber in. If she is going to live with you, you might occasionally ask her for a favor. Friends, sisters and roommates to that. You literally opened your home and let her live for free.

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You thought she would treat you like a friend/sister in return. You thought if you needed her help she would try to help. It’s time to ask her to leave, or have her sign a rental agreement to contribute by cleaning or babysitting. However, I don’t think I would forgive her churlishness easily. I would expect my siblings (I have 5 of them) to actually care about me.

IMO_Jr − Being petty, I’d text your parents back that seems their daughter and it’s not your responsibility to be financially supporting her. Therefore they can have her back. If my sister asked for help only on one day, I would probably rearrange my schedule if I could, but you can’t force her to.

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Particular_Elk3022 − Well she is an adult, and the boundaries need to be reset so they can be respected. For one time favor she should have volunteered, in my personal opinion. Family after all. But she said it herself, she is an adult, and your child is not her 'responsibility' means you need to remind her that she isn't YOUR responsibility either.

So, time for her to pay you rent. Or for your parents to take 'responsibility' of their child and pay her rent, or she get's a 30 day notice. Up until now you have treated her as family, and she isn't returning the favor.. ​. NTA

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plutodapimp − NTA. i don't get the people saying OP is actually.....The sister lives there rent free with no responsibilities other than school, they are able to live financially free because of OP. Asking her to watch the kid once is not outrageous given it was for OP to get to work and she likely needs the money with the extra adult to feed and house.

boredoutof_mymind − tell your mum her kid isn't your responsibility and ship her back home dude

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Cocoasneeze − NTA ***'She got really upset and said I’m throwing what i do for her in her face, and how she’s an adult and my son wasn’t her kid. She did agree though and I went to work. While I was on break I checked my phone and had numerous text from my parents saying I was abusing my power over my sister,

and that my son wasn’t her responsibility.'***. I'd send your sister back to living with the parents ASAP with the exact same message they sent you.. And tell your sister, that she's an adult and isn't your responsibility, she has to find other accommodations.

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girlwithbluehair27 − NTA. I'm amazed with people who says otherwise. She lives rent free at your house, the least she could is to babysit HER nephew once in a while. Of course is not her child, but for f* sake, you are family and helping you shouldn't be a sacrifice. I'm a student and you don't need to dedicate your whole life to study, it's not like if you were asking her to do it regularly.

Wrong-Construction40 − NTA Jesus christ its one f**king time. This 'I don't owe anyone anything ever' s**t needs to die, your sister refusing to pitch in because of an unexpected work emergency because its not her kid is the height of entitled selfish b**lshit. She isn't your kid and yet you are housing and feeding her so she can go to school- relationships are two way streets.

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Honestly, tell her to find new accommodations because you already have one baby you don't need another. She can get a part time job and/or get financial help from your parents and live with roommates like most of her classmates. She wants to live in a world where no one is obligated to help anyone ever? Let it hit her in the face like an acme anvil.

captaincustody − I get where you're coming from OP. You were in a tough spot and you looked to the person who you are keeping out of a tough spot. Sure, she doesn't HAVE to help but I understand your feeling of being betrayed. Child care is hard and expensive and the fact that your sister basically said 'give your child to a stranger' is kinda wild.

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Now, if you constantly did this she may have a point but I couldn't imagine doing this to someone who is helping me secure my future. You may need to sit with her and let her know why that hurt and go over expectations from her going forward.. 100% NTA.

These opinions spark debate, but do they capture the messy balance of family support and personal freedom?

This tale of a desperate mom and a reluctant sister exposes the raw edges of family give-and-take. Was the mom out of line for expecting help, or should family step up in a pinch? Would you demand a favor from someone you support, or let them off the hook? Share your stories below!

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