WIBTA if I excluded my oldest child from any inheritance at all?

In a family of five kids, a parent grapples with a painful rift as newfound wealth prompts a tough call. Their oldest daughter, once resentful over their modest means, spread false abuse claims in high school for sympathy, later cutting all ties. Now, with trust funds planned for the other kids, the parent hesitates to include her, seeing her actions as a betrayal.

The wife disagrees, urging fairness. This tale of estrangement, hurt, and hard choices unfolds as old wounds clash with new prosperity, testing the bonds of family and the weight of forgiveness.

‘WIBTA if I excluded my oldest child from any inheritance at all?’

This inheritance dilemma reveals the complexities of family estrangement and fairness. The parent’s instinct to exclude their oldest daughter, who falsely claimed abuse and cut contact, stems from deep hurt, but risks deepening the rift. Dr. Joshua Coleman, an estrangement expert, notes, “Cutting off an estranged child can feel like justice, but it often cements permanent disconnection.” His insight suggests the parent’s choice could close the door on future reconciliation, especially without understanding the daughter’s motivations.

The daughter’s high school lies about abuse, while wrong, may signal unmet emotional needs. Research shows 20% of teens in large families feel overlooked, sometimes resorting to extreme behaviors for attention. Her cutting contact at 18 suggests deeper issues—possibly mental health struggles or perceived slights—that the family didn’t address, like through therapy. The wife’s push for inclusion reflects a hope for healing, while the parent’s stance prioritizes loyalty from the remaining children.

Coleman advises leaving a small inheritance, like a token amount, to signal intent without rewarding past actions, reducing legal contests. A trust with conditions, such as reconnecting by a certain age, could also incentivize repair. For now, the parent might write a letter to the daughter, expressing hurt but leaving the door open. This story highlights a broader issue: navigating estrangement requires balancing accountability with compassion.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit users dove in with fiery takes, from backing the parent’s hurt to questioning the full story, stirring a heated debate. Here’s what they had to say:

These Reddit opinions are raw, but do they unpack the full tangle of estrangement and fairness?

This parent’s struggle over excluding their estranged daughter from inheritance lays bare the pain of family rifts and the challenge of fairness. Her past lies and no-contact choice clash with new wealth, testing familial bonds. Should past betrayals dictate future gifts, or does love endure despite hurt? How would you handle an estranged child in inheritance plans? Share your thoughts—let’s explore how families navigate broken ties and big decisions.