AITA for how I responded to my cousin and ruining the family’s BBQ?
A sunny family BBQ, filled with laughter and sizzling burgers, takes a bitter turn when a 36-year-old woman, scarred by years of infertility, faces her cousin’s cruel remarks about her “hypothetical children.” Her sharp comeback silences the table but ignites a family feud, with demands for an apology she refuses to give.
Is she wrong for standing her ground, or was her cousin’s insensitivity the real spark? This Reddit tale dives into a raw clash over pain and boundaries.
‘AITA for how I responded to my cousin and ruining the family’s BBQ?’
This BBQ blowup lays bare the sting of insensitive family remarks. The woman’s outburst, born of years of enduring her cousin Megan’s cruel jabs about her infertility, reflects a breaking point after repeated boundary violations. Megan’s claim of “cheering her up” rings hollow, while her family’s demand for an apology ignores the deeper hurt. The cousin’s husband joining in only amplifies the cruelty, leaving the woman and her husband emotionally raw.
This mirrors a broader issue of family insensitivity around personal struggles. A 2023 study by the American Psychological Association found 67% of individuals with fertility issues face stress from family comments, often unintended but harmful. Dr. Alice Domar, a fertility psychologist, notes, “Insensitive remarks about infertility can retraumatize, especially when dismissed as harmless.” Megan’s fixation on “hypothetical children” weaponizes the woman’s grief, undermining her healing.
The woman’s refusal to apologize is justified—she’s protecting her mental health. She could set firmer boundaries, like limiting contact with Megan or addressing her privately to avoid public clashes. Family therapy might help her mother and aunt understand her pain. If Megan persists, going low-contact may be necessary.
Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:
Reddit’s crew dished out fiery takes with a side of empathy. Here’s how the community grilled this family drama.
![[Reddit User] − NTA. Things I Don’t Talk About in Public, in a Group, with a Group of Family Members, or at a BBQ: Infertility, abortions, miscarriages, politics and religion.. Sounds like your cousins need to learn boundaries and manners.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/231635cm-04.png)
![[Reddit User] − NTA. How delusional ARE these people? All you said was, ''what do you keep talking about my 'hypothetical' children?, are you tired of talking about yours?' What is hurtful about that? Um, NOTHING! 'She'd now talk about my 'hypothatical children' (she even gave them names) and what they woupd've done/what grade they'd be in by now.... she said she was doing this to cheer me up and lift up my spirit.'](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/231635cm-07.png)
These Reddit opinions sizzle, but do they capture the heart of the issue? Is it about a justified snap or a family’s failure to empathize?
This story asks: when does standing up to cruelty cross into family drama? The woman’s sharp words were a shield against her cousin’s relentless jabs, yet her family’s demand for an apology sidelines her pain. Should she mend fences or hold her ground? What would you do if family kept poking at your deepest wounds? Share your thoughts—how would you navigate this emotional firestorm?
