AITA for asking my fiance to skip this year’s Christmas family vacation because our baby is due?

A glowing nursery awaits a baby due December 30, but a pregnant woman’s excitement is overshadowed by worry. Her fiancé plans to join his family’s annual Florida holiday trip, leaving her alone from December 15-28—cutting it close to her due date. With her parents away and friends busy, the thought of facing late pregnancy solo, plus a lonely Christmas, stings.

Reddit’s abuzz with opinions, and the tension’s thicker than holiday eggnog. This story dives into the delicate balance of family loyalty, impending parenthood, and unspoken fears, pulling readers into a heartfelt dilemma.

‘AITA for asking my fiance to skip this year’s Christmas family vacation because our baby is due?’

My fiance and I (31M and 31F) are expecting our first baby due December 30th. His family has a vacation home in Florida and they have gone every year during the holidays for about a month until after New Year. He agreed not to go this year because of the baby but his family is insisting that he go and come back on the 28th which is 'ample time before the baby is due'.

So he bought a ticket for December 15th-28th. His reasoning is that his parents really want him there and his siblings will also be going. This is bothering me alot more than I thought because I know pregnancies are unpredictable, especially in the last trimester and if anything happens leading up to the due date, I need him there.

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My parents are away until December 26th and my friends have their families so I will be completely alone. The other reason...and I guess it's more selfish, is that I will be spending Christmas by myself. It's not the main reason why I'm bothered but it's a small part of it.  He's been spending Christmas every year in Florida since he was 15 and there will be many more trips after the baby is born.

I don't know why he has to go THIS YEAR. Any time I bring it up, it results in a very uncomfortable fight about my expectations to put me first rather than his parents. I don't even bring it up anymore. His parents have always been kind to me but they also don't see any problem so I think I'm going crazy? AITA here?

The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

Impending parenthood can strain even the strongest bonds, and this couple’s clash over holiday plans reveals a tug-of-war between family traditions and new priorities. The woman’s fear of being alone during late pregnancy is valid, given the unpredictability of childbirth. Her fiancé’s choice to prioritize his family’s trip, pressured by their insistence, sidesteps her emotional and practical needs.

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This mirrors broader issues in partner support during pregnancy. A 2023 study by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists found 70% of pregnant women report needing more partner presence in the third trimester (source). Her fiancé’s absence risks isolation, especially with her parents unavailable.

Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, notes, “Turning toward your partner’s needs builds trust and resilience” (source). The fiancé should reassess his plans, prioritizing her comfort. Open, calm communication—perhaps with a counselor—could align their expectations.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit’s dishing out takes hotter than a Yule log fire. Here’s what they had to say: Talk about a holiday drama that’s more intense than a Christmas light tangle! Reddit’s weighing in, but is the fiancé caught in a family trap, or is he neglecting his partner? This story’s a festive mix of love, loyalty, and looming parenthood.

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GoodRepresentative33 - NTA- Your husband is a fool if he goes. This is your first baby, you do not know if the baby will be here early, on time or late. His family is you and the baby. If his family can't see that, that another issue. None of them have a crystal ball and know when that baby is coming. Personally, I would also be pointing out how quickly things can go wrong for Mum or bubs during labour.

I am actually disgusted with him for thinking this is okay to leave his vulnerable wife during that time... You just don't know whats going to happen. And whats with not wanting to spend Christmas with you? Leaving you completely alone. Not cool. I am furious for you. Where are you? I will come and take care of you.

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loverlyone - Are you kidding me? They are all leaving a pregnant woman alone…on the holidays…at the absolute end of her pregnancy???. This is not appropriate behavior for your FIANCÉ. Your PARTNER. The father of this child. FFS. NTA. ETA: OMG I’m so ticked off for you. This is not loving, caring behavior.

AngelofSol80 - NTA. He is showing you where his priorities lie, and sadly they are not with you. Believe him. Right now he should be putting you and his unborn child well before his parents. While his parents have always been kind look at what they are doing now with insisting he come. You are not his priority, nor are they looking out for your health and well being as you carry their grandchild.

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Make your plans now on how you will get to the hospital/birthing center if the baby comes early. That should be your first priority. After that's done please evaluate your relationship and seriously decide if this is what you want your future to be, and the future of your child.

If you decide it isn't then start to figure out your exit, even if he does make it back before the baby comes. I am so sorry you are having to deal with this right now. The stress of it all has got to be immense and not something you should be subjected to right now.

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LillyLovegood82 - Come on now. I know you don't actually think you're the crazy one. Please tell your friends and mother this and see what they have to say. Also your MIL is asking her son to be away from his very pregnant wife. Ask your MIL about her births and tell her you're scared of being alone see what she says.

Then you will have a better understanding of how 'kind' they are. If she brushes your fears aside. You don't want your baby around that family, if she tells you she didn't ask her son to go, then you know your man is lying.. Also a whole family can take a month off work?. Edit cause I have questions.. How long have you been engaged? Have you ever been to FL for Christmas?

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No_Trifle4817 - My friend’s husband went out of town 2 weeks before their baby was born and she went into labor while he was gone. He raced to the airport and got on the soonest flight possible and missed the birth. Thankfully her family lives in town and was with her. Due dates are just an approximation of when baby will come. Being out of town until 2 days before the due date is idiotic.

NTA at all and you aren’t wrong for feeling sad that you are being left alone on Christmas either. I would take your husband with you to your next OB appt or make an appt if you don’t have one already set up and ask your OB how likely it is that he may miss the birth if he leaves.

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jasperjamboree - Your fiancé is putting his personal happiness as a priority over you and your baby. This is what he’s going to continue to do for years to come, despite you and your baby becoming his primary family because he will always put his parents first. This man is not ready to raise a child because he’s still acting like a one with how dependent he is on mommy and daddy. He’s not husband material either. NTA

[Reddit User] - Only a complete a**hole would do this. He is not ready to be either a father or a husband. You not bringing it up anymore means he has won in wearing you down. I would be extremely clear that you do not appreciate being abandoned for Christmas and for your final days before birth, a time when he should be catering to you, not his family.

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I would also be clear that you will not be answering any texts or calls while he’s gone because he doesn’t deserve any information. Then make a plan in case you go into labour and a long term plan about the rest of your life. For me, there would be no recovery from this. I’m sure your friends will be there for you if you let them know what is happening. Good luck.

BatpigMama - DO NOT MARRY THIS MAN. Use the time he’s gone to get a lawyer, get custody & child support and probably a place to live in a row.. You & your kid WILL ALWAYS play second fiddle to his parents wants/needs.. He will go against anything you wish to appease his parents.. • NTA

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The_Bad_Agent - NTA but if he can't put his future spouse as his priority over his parents, he isn't ready to leave them. And this is huge. Anything can happen, and he's ok leaving his pregnant partner alone that is close to the due date. On Christmas no less. Learn from this. If he's ditching you while heavily pregnant on Christmas because his parents are his priority, he isn't husband material.

Apprehensive-Guess42 - I’m a therapist. I had this exact same situation occur with a client. You’re absolutely not the a**hole. It’s a ridiculous and selfish reason not to be with your partner during a time when they need you more than ever.

Pregnancy’s a wild ride, and family traditions can throw it off course. The expectant mom’s plea for her fiancé to stay home before their baby’s arrival sparked a heated debate. Is she right to feel abandoned, or should she compromise for his family’s sake? What would you do if your partner’s plans left you alone at a pivotal moment? Drop your thoughts below and let’s unwrap this together!

The author has updated the article information below:

**Wow, I wasn't expecting this many responses and I can't personally thank all of you but THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH ❤️ All your support and responses mean alot and I definitely plan on showing this thread to him.

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Context: I have gone to Florida with his family for the past 5 years for at least part of Christmas. Every other year, I returned before him to spend Christmas day with my family. This year is the first time in a long time that all the other siblings are able to overlap dates. My fiance has major FOMO, which is why this is a sensitive subject.

His parents have always been weird about keeping their family close. They've never said it outright but little things suggest they don't consider me completely part of their family yet since we aren't married. Also, my parents are away overseas dealing with a grandparent emergency. My mom has been kept in the loop though and is trying to come back as soon as she can.**

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UPDATE #1: I'm sorry for not updating sooner, everything has been overwhelming and I'm trying to deal with alot. The good news is that my mom arrived home yesterday! When I had explained everything to her, her sister (who is a retired nurse) insisted she come too. I'm so thankful to have them here. It's hard to get my feelings across as there's a bit of a cultural barrier.

My mom is from HK and without getting into details, the grandparent situation was very much an emergency. But she has siblings and my dad who is staying there atm. As for my fiance...I scheduled a virtual appointment with him and my obgyn to update her and told her this whole situation. Like all of you, she was appalled and strongly recommended he not travel during this time.

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Her words were, 'In my professional opinion, I'm going to VERY STRONGLY recommend you reconsider your plans. In my personal opinion, I'm going to insist it.' It was probably on me for not alerting her sooner re. his travel plans. After that, he is still going but adjusting his dates so he will be back on the 22nd. There will be one day overlap with his siblings.

His mom isn't too happy he won't be there for Christmas. She suggested he fly back later on the 25th instead so he can spend a part of Christmas day with them but he said no. It's still not ideal for me, my mom and aunt has insisted to speak with his parents so we've scheduled a call with them later today. I reached out to my best friend too about this after I read some of your responses and PMs.

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She was livid and informed her husband that she doesn't care if it's on Christmas day, if I go into labor, she will drop everything and be there. She's also been kept up to date about who will be with me while he is away and will be visiting. I know there were alot of questions regarding the family but I can't address all of them, it's too much to write out.

Yes, I know they don't treat me completely as family, there have always been small passive aggressive things that bothered me (not invited to Mother's/Father's Day events, left out of family Secret Santa, not being allowed to sleep in the same room when we visit etc.). -Yes, I know that his mother must be aware that he shouldn't be leaving me at 37 weeks.

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She's not dumb and I update her after all my appointments so I know she knows this too. I don't know why she's saying it's ok, but I have an idea why. My mom has made it clear she will be addressing all of this in the call. -Some of you wondered how they can afford to go to Florida for a month. His parents are retired and snowbird there.

His siblings and SIL all have 9 to 5 jobs that are partly remote so they are lucky enough to take their work to Florida and work there. My fiance is a gig worker so he dictates his own schedule. Obviously, their schedules don't always align. -I haven't shown him this thread yet. Atm, it's just one more thing I don't want to deal with with him.

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I may in the future but I have suggested we go to therapy before we set a wedding date...he agreed. I am also seeking counseling for myself. Lastly, I am incredibly grateful to all of you who took time to respond, offer to visit me and bring me food...

I have never posted on Reddit before but I appreciate the support you've all shown me. Once again, thank you all so much. I'll try to update again after the baby comes. It might be awhile but please know that I am safe and have lot of love surrounding me. Please have a safe and happy holidays!!. Also, I am expecting a girl 🥰. 

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UPDATE #2: Happy Holidays everyone! I know some of you were asking for an update so here it goes. Baby girl was born on Dec. 20th at 6lbs 10oz at 9:42PM! My mom, aunt and best friend were there during labor, my mom was present during birth. She's healthy and we're all exhausted but I'm so grateful for my support system.

My (ex) fiance did not make it for the birth. During the video call with his mother, my mom told her that he needs to come back immediately otherwise she will be taking me home and they will not be welcome to visit the baby. It was a very heated call but the outcome was that my mom and aunt packed up my things and we went back to my parents house where I currently am still residing.

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So...you can guess what happened there. It hurt alot, I had a very upsetting phone call with him about his priorities now that we were literally down to the wire and the conversation ended without much resolution. He hung up on me. I messaged him after our daughter was born to let him know I had given birth and that she was healthy. He tried to video call alot after that but I didn't pick up.

He returned home on the 22nd as planned, of course I wasn't at the condo. I think they all thought my mom was bluffing. He tried to come by my parents' house many times and at one point sat outside in his car for hours when my mom and aunt wouldn't let him in. Finally on Christmas day, we let him see his daughter and he and I discussed our future.

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My mom and aunt have been very vocal about breaking off the engagement and I agreed that after the call with his parents, I didn't want to be involved with a family who was so selfish. He told me his mother was very insistent he go on this trip to show his family that he wanted to mend his relationships with them and that his SIL had been saying some awful things about me to him and his parents.

I had told her some things in confidence a couple years ago about some issues I was having with him and she turned it around on me. This was the nail in the coffin. I can't possibly marry into a family this toxic. So as it stands now, I have broken off the engagement and will live at my parents' house. We have scheduled couples therapy and our first session is tomorrow.

He has apologized profusely and asked to stay with me to help with his daughter. My mom doesn't want him sleeping here so he's been coming by in the morning to help with her and then leaving in the evening. His parents have told him that they would like to see our daughter as soon as they come back and he has video chatted with them once to show our daughter to them.

That's basically where we stand now. Undoubtedly the situation will get more complicated once his parents come back but I can't think about that right now. My baby girl is healthy and has a nursery set up in my childhood bedroom. She's surrounded by people who would give her the world. My aunt who I haven't seen since I was 10 is here. Those are the positive things I'm focusing on..

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