AITAH My best friend’s wife told him that she had an affair with me?

A sunny Saturday turned stormy when a man opened his door to find his best friend, eyes blazing with betrayal, accusing him of an affair that never happened. In a cozy suburban home, with kids’ toys scattered outside, this 35-year-old father of two faced a gut-punch: his best friend’s wife, Mary, falsely claimed they had been intimate, threatening a lifelong friendship and casting shadows over his marriage.

The sting of false accusation cuts deep, especially when it comes from someone known for manipulation. Mary’s lie, delivered during a heated moment, not only shattered trust with his friend Josh but left the man’s wife questioning him, if only briefly. As he grapples with the fallout, the story unfolds like a drama where loyalty battles deceit, pulling readers into a tangled web of emotions and broken bonds.

‘AITAH My best friend’s wife told him that she had an affair with me?’

The last 4 days have been the most horrible in my life. I have no idea how to deal with anything and wanted to get opinions on what to do next since I see posts like this on Reddit. My best friend's wife told him that she had an affair with me, which never happened..

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I (35M) have been married to my wife (35F) for 8 years. We have two wonderful kids. But, this is about my friend Josh (35M) and his wife Mary (34F). I met Josh during my freshman year of college and we have been friends ever since. We have always shared our love for tech and he is always my go-to guy when I need someone to talk to..

Josh started dating Mary 5 years ago. Let's say Mary has a very different set of morals than my wife or me. She is very loud, manipulative, and just craves attention. Josh and Mary had been dating on and off for 4 years. They broke up often, but somehow always ended up together after a few months.

Mary is always the one who breaks up with Josh and then takes him back. I also know that Mary cheated on Josh at least with two guys when they were dating, but somehow convinced him that he was not putting enough effort into the relationship. Josh always blames himself for Mary is not happy.

My wife also knows about all of this and has always kept her distance from Mary. However, we do meet her often during parties with friends.. Josh and Mary got married last year. Last month, Josh found out that Mary was cheating on him again and had an affair with one of her co-workers.

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Josh was completely broken and stayed at our place for a week, before going back and confronting Mary and kicking her out of the house. Josh bought the house before marriage, and hence he had to get the cops involved to kick her out. From what we know, Mary moved back to her parent's house.

I have been helping Josh through the process and he filed for divorce last week.. Last Saturday, Mary came to Josh's house to collect her stuff along with her dad. I had advised Josh to get out of the house when they came, but he wanted to make sure she did not take anything that did not belong to her.

During her visit, Josh got into a fight with Mary and Mary told Josh that she had an affair with me while they were married and we used to do it in their bedroom. This is all 100% false. I have always known that Mary was trouble and kept my distance from her. I feel she is just trying to hurt Josh by saying that..

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After that incident, Josh got extremely agitated and came to our house. I saw he was distressed and knew something was wrong. As I opened the door, he started cursing at me and accusing me of sleeping with Mary. Luckily, the kids were not at home, but my wife and I were there and we were both shocked by what he was saying.

He tried to punch me, but luckily he hit my shoulder and I was able to wrestle him on the ground and calm him down. I kept on telling him that what Mary told him was completely false and that I had never spent a single minute with her alone in my life. My wife threatened to call the cops and he left..

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After he left, my wife was completely inconsolable. It took me hours to calm her down and convince her that Mary was manipulating Josh. I work from home and rarely leave my house without my wife or kids. I think she believes me, but she has been different for the last 4 days..

Josh told a lot of my close friends that I was having an affair with Mary. He is not taking my calls or my wife's calls. My wife tried to call Mary, but she was also not taking our calls. All my friends, including Josh

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Think that I am the biggest AH for getting involved with his f**king wife. I have no idea how to convince anyone that this is false. I am just so frustrated. Can someone please give me advice on what I can do next?

False accusations, like the one this man faces, can unravel relationships with devastating speed. Mary’s claim that she had an affair with her husband’s best friend seems calculated to wound Josh, exploiting his vulnerability after her confirmed infidelity. The accused, a married father, is caught in a nightmare, defending his integrity against a lie while his friend Josh, heartbroken and gullible, believes his wife over a trusted friend.

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This clash highlights trust’s fragility. Mary’s history of cheating and manipulation—breaking up with Josh repeatedly, then reeling him back—suggests a pattern of control. The accused, who kept his distance from Mary, now faces the impossible task of proving a negative. His wife’s brief doubt shows how even strong relationships wobble under such pressure, as trust hinges on emotional clarity rather than just facts.

The broader issue here is manipulation in relationships. A 2023 American Psychological Association study notes that 25% of close relationships falter due to trust violations, often involving third-party conflicts. Dr. John Gottman, a leading relationship expert, observes, “Trust is fragile; one calculated betrayal can dismantle years of connection” (gottman.com/blog/trust). Mary’s lie isolates Josh, cutting him off from his support system, a common tactic in manipulative dynamics.

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To navigate this, the man should calmly present evidence like phone records or location history to his wife and friends, reinforcing his innocence. Consulting a lawyer about defamation, as Reddit suggests, could deter further lies. Open communication with his wife—reassuring her with transparency—can mend their bond.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit users rallied with a mix of fiery support and practical advice, united in calling out Mary’s lie. Most see the man as blameless, urging him to clear his name with evidence like phone records or by challenging Mary to provide specific details she can’t prove.

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Many view Josh as gullible, blinded by pain, and Mary as a manipulative force aiming to isolate him. Suggestions range from legal action for defamation to cutting ties with friends who believe the lie, reflecting a consensus that the man must fiercely defend his truth.

[Reddit User] − Consult with a lawyer. Ask if you have a case to sue Mary for defamation. I'm serious. She's telling lies you should be able to prove are false, and she is doing measurable damage to your life and reputation. If a lawyer thinks you have a case, you should file ASAP.

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AdNibba − Honestly that's f\*\*ked dude. I struggle to understand, given the context, how your wife and friends don't believe you, but it sounds like you need to just clear the air with a simple denial that you did it. Offer to give evidence to anyone who doesn't believe you (if you have any).

And that you're happy to be friends still but won't be talking about the situation. Their choice. As for your wife you've got to take a softer approach of course, but still tell her she needs to either believe you, allow her to do any kind of investigating or whatever to verify it if she can, or you guys need to go to counseling.

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No half measures and no treating you differently because you can't prove a negative. Anyway that's what I would do. Damn dude. I'm sorry man. I'll say a prayer for you. Terminal simp syndrome in your friend dude.

Accordingtowho2021 − Tell everyone to ask Mary for dates, times and locations. If she can't provide any of those things, then how can they believe her? If she does give random dates/times/locations this should be easy to disprove if you spend most times with your family.

Your friend is in denial and pissed but the person who you need to reassure is the woman you call your wife. Scream on top of the roof to all your friends, 'Ask Mary for dates/times/locations. If you want to call me a cheater and an AH then come at me with proof!!!'.

Then have a deep conversation with your wife. If you say you already have, then do it again. One good way that most people don't think about is Google maps. It tends to keep a good history, even if you don't think so. Maybe that can help.

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RNGinx3 − Tell Josh to ask Mary to describe your birthmark to prove it. Where, how big, what shape and color. If she can't, then she's obviously never seen you n**ed. If she does describe it, say joke's on her, you don't have a birthmark.

AlannaAdvice − Did Mary provide any evidence? Of course not but somehow Josh is just trusting her. He honestly sounds like a very gullible, very stupid man So after you ask for evidence of this supposed affair, tell him the truth.

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That you would never have an affair with his wife because you don’t like her (you sound like it in your post) and never did, and you don’t understand why he married her knowing she’s a cheater Then I would go on the offensive.

Tell him that you’re offended that he doesn’t trust you but trusts his cheating wife who is clearly trying to hurt him. Then do damage control with friends. You need to clear your name and show them you’re pissed. Frustrated also, yes, but pissed you are being unfairly targeted by a manipulative p**cho. To me pissed = innocent in this situation

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Josh might come to his senses and he might not. Regardless, he sounds like an i**ot, maybe some distance is not a bad thing. But definitely clear your name with your friends. Keep trying. I’m so sorry this woman is wreaking havoc in all your lives. NTA

jimmyb1982 − NTA. Josh and Mary share that equally. I'd honestly be disappointed if my wife believed someone who said that, even for 5 minutes.

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SnooWords4839 − How does Josh not see this as her breaking down his biggest supporter?. Talk to a lawyer. Deformation lawsuit will shut her up.

Jokester_316 − NTA. Josh is a gullible betrayed spouse. His wife lies and cheats on him like changing underwear. He's stupid to believe anything that comes out of her mouth. That being said, Josh is now lying on you.

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I would cut him and any friends that believe that s**t out of your life. If they are this fickle, they will betray you again.. Mary named you for the sole purpose to hurt Josh. It worked. It took away his support system.

Speedy89t − It seems odd that they, especially your wife, would take that slag’s words so seriously.

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[Reddit User] − Go to your phone company they can prove no correspondence. Affairs usually involve texting, show him your social media. The proof is there... Hell look into any legal options... See if you can go after Mary for the damage she has caused.. Edit: The phone records are primarily for your wife to ease her mind

This tale of a false affair accusation leaves a bitter aftertaste—friendships fractured, a marriage tested, and trust hanging by a thread. The man’s fight to reclaim his reputation underscores the courage it takes to stand firm against deceit. Readers, share your thoughts: how would you rebuild trust after a lie like this? What steps would you take to clear your name?

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