AITA for telling my girlfriend she’s not as attractive to me after shed8been telling me the same thing for days?

Imagine a cozy evening, planning a movie night, when a playful jab turns into a full-blown feud. A 24-year-old guy, freshly stubbled after ditching his beard, faces a barrage of complaints from his girlfriend, who can’t stop mocking his “baby face.” Her relentless digs—day after day—finally push him to snap, hitting back with a comment about her weight. Tears, a storm-out, and silence follow. Was he wrong to fire back, or was her criticism too much?

This drama unfolds in a small apartment, where tension simmers like an overcooked stew. The guy’s stubble, a bold change after years of a full beard, becomes a battleground for insecurities and communication gone wrong. As the couple navigates this spat, their story pulls us into the messy heart of relationships, where honesty can cut deeper than intended.

‘AITA for telling my girlfriend she’s not as attractive to me after shed8been telling me the same thing for days?’

Okay so I'll keep it as brief as possible... Around a week ago I(24m) made the decision to shave off my beard. Not all of it though. I went from full beard to light stubble, haven't been clean shaven in years. My girlfriend(23f) has done NOTHING but complain since I did this, telling me how much it bothers her and how she's not nearly as attracted to me.

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I'm the first to admit I suffer from a bad case of baby face without it, which Is why I dont go fully clean. She tells me my face looks awkward without it and how I shouldn't do it again, she even commented how she's glad she's leaving the country for a few weeks and how that will give me time to grow it back for her coming home.

Anyway, yesterday I snapped when she brought it up for the 3rd time that day. I asked if she wanted to see a movie, she said 'great, I wont need to see your baby face that way!'. I snapped and told her that she'd been slowly putting on weight lately and I wasnt as attracted to her either, but I love her so I dont go on and on about it constantly.

Naturally she started crying, stormed out of my house and hasn't spoken to me since. Now while I do think I was an a**hole for losing my temper, what I'm asking is was I the a**hole for going after her insecurity and essentially calling her fat after she was complaining to me for days?

Sidenote: I had talked to her about this first. I told her that it sucked listening to her talk about how she wasnt as attracted to me, and she simply told me she was just being honest and I cant tell her not to express her opinions..

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This couple’s clash over a shaved beard reveals how quickly small comments can spiral into hurt. The girlfriend’s persistent jabs at her boyfriend’s appearance crossed a line, especially after he asked her to stop. His retort about her weight, while harsh, was a reaction to being pushed too far.

Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, writes in What Makes Love Last? “Criticism, when unchecked, erodes trust in relationships.” A 2020 study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that 65% of couples report appearance-related comments as a major source of conflict. The girlfriend’s “honesty” became relentless criticism, ignoring her partner’s feelings.

The boyfriend’s snap wasn’t ideal but understandable. Experts suggest addressing hurtful comments calmly, saying, “I feel disrespected when you focus on my appearance.” Both could benefit from setting boundaries on sensitive topics. For couples in similar spats, open dialogue and mutual respect are key to avoiding tit-for-tat escalations. An apology from both, as Reddit suggests, could pave the way for healing.

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Here’s how people reacted to the post:

The Reddit squad swooped in like relationship referees, tossing out fiery takes and sharp insights with a side of humor. They dissected the girlfriend’s relentless digs and the boyfriend’s comeback like a post-game analysis.

PupuleJess − NTA, she can dish it out but can't take it. Maybe she will be more aware of other's feelings in the future but wouldn't bet on it. Good luck.

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saltierthangoldfish − NTA - That sidenote at the bottom is critical. I would've gone with everyone sucks, but you tried to clearly express this as a boundary and she kept violating it. You had every right to blow up at her.

Devourer_of_felines − I told her that it sucked listening to her talk about how she wasnt as attracted to me, and she simply told me she was just being honest and I cant tell her not to express her opinions.. NTA - she set the ground rules: you're just being honest and expressing your opinions.

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SuchBarracuda − Because you did speak to her about how much it bothered you NTA - while you dug really deep into an insecurity, she had no reason to be a mean jack to you for days on end, just say hey babe I don't like it as much your fully grown beard not some passive aggressive bs about..

HAHA you better grow it back while i'm away on vacation or HA.. least i don't have to look at your ugly mug ( not that you're ugly) in that dark theater, That's just childish and unreasonable. Don't dish out what you can't take.... I'm surprised her friends haven't called you yet and told you that you were a jerk.

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Zer0stealth − ESH you were an ass for saying she looked fat and she's an ass for harping on it. I would say have a serious talk with her because if her feelings for you are changed so drastically by a shave that she can't stand it she might not be the person for you.

MinuteRain − NTA. as a female, I hate the double standard around s**t like this. idk why but this post has my blood fuckin' boiling.

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pidgeononachair − NTA, she’s happy to be a massive d**k to you, and rather than adjust to your face and get used to it she tried to insult you into submission. Charming lady

Invader_vader − 'I wont need to see your baby face that way' is **EASILY** far more cruel. You need to show that your hurt because of it. And you did, honestly in the best way possible.. Walking around it kindly won't let her understand how much it hurts.

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Disnerding − NTA. I was going for ESH at first, but your sidenote made me change my mind. She's been going at you for some time and if you say something small, she runs away crying? Come on. You're adults. Good luck with working this out, though. Don't grow your beard unless you really want to.

2scared2write − NTA. That’s so f**king rude. I would never go on for days insulting my partner like that. How would she feel if she got a haircut and you just wailed about it for days and said it made her look old or something? “Great, now I don’t have to look at granny for the next few hours!” What you said is rude too, but she deserved it.

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You don’t just s**t on the person you love relentlessly like that, especially after they ask you to stop and that it hurts their feelings. She could’ve made ONE comment about how she wants you to grow it back, that she prefers you with a beard, that’s fine to say, but damn....just bringing it up day in and day out, nope. If you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen.

These Redditors mostly backed the boyfriend, slamming the girlfriend’s non-stop criticism while acknowledging his retort was rough. Their advice—call out bad behavior, don’t escalate—adds fuel to the debate. But do their hot takes capture the full story, or are they just cheering from the sidelines?

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This couple’s spat over a shaved face and a snarky comeback highlights how quickly words can wound in relationships. Both crossed lines—her with relentless criticism, him with a low blow. Reddit’s mix of support and shade suggests a need for better communication. How do you handle a partner’s harsh words? Share your stories—what would you do if your partner kept poking at your insecurities?

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