AITA for uninviting my SIL and MIL from everything and saying that if my husband continues to pressure me, he will also be uninvited?

A glow of anticipation filled the cozy living room, where a pregnant woman, seven months along, dreamed of a gender reveal party to honor her late mother’s love for such celebrations. But the joy shattered when her sister-in-law’s slip and mother-in-law’s gossip let the secret slip to the entire family, leaving her heartbroken.

Grieving her parents’ loss during the pandemic and navigating pregnancy hormones, she set firm boundaries, uninviting her SIL and MIL from baby-related events. Her husband’s relentless pressure to forgive them sparked a heated ultimatum: stop, or he’d miss the birth too. This story unravels the delicate balance of trust, family, and personal space during a vulnerable time, pulling readers into a tale of emotional stakes and tough choices.

‘AITA for uninviting my SIL and MIL from everything and saying that if my husband continues to pressure me, he will also be uninvited?’

I am 7 months pregnant with my first child. The baby is also the first grandchild/nephew of my husband's family which everyone is excited about. I lost my mother and father to the pandemic, being an only child, so there's not much of my family. Since the death of my parents (1 year ago), my husband's family has welcomed me with open arms as part of them and I have become very close to my MIL and SIL..

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I always wanted to have a gender reveal and I trusted my SIL to organize everything about this. With 3 days to go before the party, I started to receive messages from all my husband's relatives and even close friends congratulating me on my baby being a boy.

I went to ask what happened, my SIL confessed that she let it slip to my MIL and she told everyone the s** of the baby after knowing, because she couldn't hold it and it took proportions beyond what they imagined. Nobody call me to tell this.. The party was canceled and I was heartbroken, as well as extremely hurt by the two of them.

Usually they accompanied me to the ultrasound, shopping for the baby' room and my MIL would stay at the time of delivery. But after this breach of trust, I stopped inviting them and asked them to respect my boundaries when they pressured me to go. Honestly, I didn't even send them the baby shower invite, because I really avoided contact with them as much as possible. Because everyone knew before me that it was a boy.

My husband started complaining that I was pushing them away because of a mistake that could happen and that I was being harsh. Yesterday he brought up this and when I said that I still didn't feel comfortable with them, he said 'Soon you'll tell me that my mother won't be able to go to the birth '.

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I think my face showed my response and he started saying I was being too hard on her because she was just excited and blabla. I had my limit and said, 'If you keep pushing me, it won't just be your mother who won't be on my labor. So either stop or you won't come in.'

He started to say that I was crossing lines and that he had a right to have this moment. I was taking this with them too far.. He slept on the couch and doesn't talk to me more than necessary.. AITA?

Well, many are saying it's just a gender reveal. I honestly don't care for that and I think it's tacky, but my mom was the type who like/love it and she always dreamed of having grandchildren, she said she was made to be a grandmother. She can't meet my son or even know I'm pregnant,

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so I wanted to do something tacky that I don't care for her, not for me. Everyone knew the importance and the reason. I always wanted to have a gender reveal with my mom there and I didn't have either.. Extra:. Let's go to some points:

- At no time did I say that I would never approach them again. But RIGHT NOW, I don't see myself doing that. I already have grief, pregnancy hormones, and day-to-day stress to deal with so I don't want anything else to bother me.

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- Obviously I want my husband to be in childbirth. But it's a lot of stress, he brings this topic all the time and I doubt he'll stop even at the time of my delivery trying to convince me. Even if he goes, if he says anything about his mother coming, I'll ask him to leave.

This family fallout cuts deep, exposing raw emotions and clashing priorities. The woman’s boundaries reflect a need for control during a vulnerable pregnancy, while her husband’s pushback highlights a classic family loyalty tug-of-war.

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Her SIL’s slip might’ve been accidental, but the MIL’s choice to spread the news was deliberate, breaching trust at a sensitive time. According to Psychology Today, “Trust is the foundation of family relationships, and breaches can exacerbate stress, especially during pregnancy” (Dr. John Gottman, 2021). This aligns with her need for space—grief and hormones amplify emotional stakes.

The husband’s insistence risks alienating her further. A study from the American Psychological Association shows that 70% of pregnant women prioritize emotional safety during labor, underscoring her right to choose who’s present. His dismissal of her feelings as “harsh” ignores the betrayal’s weight, especially given her mother’s absence.

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Dr. Gottman advises, “Validate emotions before problem-solving.” Her husband should listen, not lecture, to rebuild trust. She’s wise to prioritize her mental health—delivery rooms demand calm, not conflict.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of support and shade for this family drama. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the online crowd:

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Dry_Dragonfruit_4191 − *My husband started complaining that I was pushing them away because of a mistake that could happen and that I was being harsh.* This wasn't a mistake- this was a choice. Your SIL made a choice and told MIL. MIL then made a choice to tell everyone else in the family. Your husband is making the choice to pressure you into things, which is leaving you to make some choices of your own now.

You are allowed to make your own choices. Nobody not even the husband has a right to be in the delivery room (may seem harsh but it's true). The person going through the procedure has the choice of who gets to be in there. Birthing a child is not an all-access pass for everybody else who wants to be in there. It's not a spectator sport- it's a medical procedure to get a little human out of another human.. NTA

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SongOfInsanity − Your SIL slipping could have been a honest mistake, your MIL spreading it around was a concise choice. You may be going a little too far with your SIL (again, possible accident) but your MIL made her choice and is now dealing with the consequences. NTA

Bitter-Conflict-4089 − NTA Your husband is a huge A H for thinking mommy’s “excitement” is a higher priority than the woman who is actually pregnant. It sounds like your husband is using you as a surrogate to give mommy and sissy a new toy.

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No way should his mother be at the birth. It is your medical procedure and the only priority is keeping you and babe safe and healthy. It is not dinner theater where your husband is entitled to sell tickets to the show.

[Reddit User] − NTA Birth is not a spectator sport. They will announce the birth before you can. They will stress you out at most vulnerable. They will hold baby before you do. You need to get your husband on board.

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MolassesEmotional225 − NTA Finding out the s** of your baby is such a special moment and because of your MIL's 'little mistake' you were the last to know. It's more than reasonable for you to be hurt and your MIL, SIL, and husband trying to push you to get over it sooner is only making things worse. They're trying to push you to compromise on your boundaries and imho that's a *massive* red flag

PsilosirenRose − NTA Even if it was a 'mistake' (I don't buy it. One person is an accident, the whole family was absolutely a choice, and MIL absolutely COULD have held it in.), it was a profoundly hurtful one and they should be apologizing profusely and being very understanding of your boundaries going forward.

If your husband keeps acting like you're being ridiculous and stonewalling you through your pregnancy for having some boundaries with his family that screwed you over, you may have some very hard decisions to make indeed. You're in a vulnerable spot, and all of them need to wake up and see YOU and YOUR needs, not just 'their' first baby boy. This whole thing feels off to me.

Pandas-Brat − Did anyone actually even apologize to you? NTA. You don't need to have anyone in the labour room you don't feel comfortable with. Especially people who leak details to everyone

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Management-Late − NTA and I doubt it was a mistake. Forgive or not, but if she is in your delivery do not be surprised when she or sil posts pics of your son on social media before you've even had a chance to be with him. As for husband, he has no right to pressure you about who is in there besides him. And yes if he's stressing you out even he doesn't have to be.. Your body, your medical procedure.. ETA typo

pPC_bC − I dont understand husbands who get belligerent at wives who are about to give birth. Yes, it's their child too, and yes they have rights as the father. But no, they dont have equal say who goes with them or with wife into the delivery room. The rule should be what makes the wife comfortable, safe and secure. If MIL and SIL's presence is upsetting, boundaries should be respected.

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HM202256 − Ok. Maybe, I am old fashioned, but why should your MIL and SIL be in the labor and delivery room?. Secondly, it’s your baby and your body. You choose

These Redditors rallied behind her, cheering her boundaries while side-eyeing the husband’s priorities. But do their fiery takes capture the full story, or are they just adding fuel to the family fire?

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This pregnant woman’s stand against her in-laws and husband underscores the power of setting boundaries, even when it ruffles feathers. Her story resonates with anyone who’s juggled family expectations and personal grief. While her husband sees her actions as harsh, her need for space during this vulnerable time is undeniable. Trust, once broken, takes time to mend—especially with a baby on the way. What would you do if you were in her shoes, balancing grief, pregnancy, and family drama?

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