AITA For being a “picky pregnant person”?

In a sunlit living room, where diaper stacks and gift cards piled high, a baby shower meant to celebrate a new life turned into a family showdown. A 26-year-old mom-to-be, seven months pregnant, had crafted a travel-themed, gender-neutral nursery with her husband, dreaming of globetrotting adventures with their child. Their registry was clear: diapers, formula gift cards, or college fund donations. But her mother-in-law (MIL) and sisters had other plans, hijacking the party with a surprise gender reveal she never wanted.

Pink shirts, ripped tags, and a social media post spilled the baby’s gender, shattering her vision and privacy. Her husband’s swift eviction of the culprits—his own mother included—left tears and tension in their wake. It’s a tale of violated boundaries, family overreach, and a pregnant couple’s fight to protect their choices. Was their reaction an overstep, or a stand for autonomy?

‘AITA For being a “picky pregnant person”?’

I (26F) am 7m pregnant with my first. I had my baby shower on Saturday that ended with my MIL in tears and my sisters all taking their gifts back. To start I did my nursery how I wanted, we didnt care boy or girl, so we did it a travel theme since my husband and I travel alot for fun and thats something we want to do with the little one.

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(Think big hand painted world map we can paint in as we visit states and countries). We have everything set up for the nursery. Also to note our clothing is the same way, with easy to clean colors and fabrics or clothing types of no distinct gender in case we have another baby down the line.

Now to the story. My mother is hosting the baby shower and knows we don't need anything (or want anything), so our registry is literally just diapers, gift cards for formula, or if you wanted you can donate to a college fund for kids wanting to study abroad (it's how my husband and I met).

Now we were all having fun until it was time to open gifts, the first few were diapers, cards with gift cards or a print out with the donation. Until I got to my MIL and sisters gifts, who were all giggling in the corner. I opened the first gift and it said, Mommy made a bombshell, in a bright pastel pink shirt.

I was very confused and my mother and husband were pissed. It started a slew of presents of pinks clothing, and baby items I didn't need, all with the tags ripped off and boxes clearly damaged. My husband basically interrogated my sisters until they tattled.

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One of my sisters looked at the screen at my last appointment and found out it was a girl. They thought it would be a surprise gender reveal to me (BTW they also posted it on social media.) They said that their neice was the families baby so they get a say in what they wear.

My mother was calm until my MIL spoke up, she said that she orchestrated everything. My mother did what mothers do and told her off on how selfish that was when we didn't want to know. To which my MIL started crying. My husband kicked my MIL out faster than you can imagine, and my sisters left with all their gifts.

My MILs friends are all commenting on the video saying I over reacted and it was just a fun trick and how I shouldn't have been so picky on my registry or just let them know the gender. Since I'm pregnant and my emotions can't be trusted I want to know AITA?

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Edit for clarity: the obgyn is a small family practice, their policy is only one other person with mom doesn't matter who. And another redditor put to question if she looked how does she know if it takes a professional, that's a God point now I hope it's a boy (however I wouldn't be mad it's a girl) to make them upset lol.

Edit to the edit: I understand people don't like the idea pf a baby shower when I didn't need anything but this is my mom's first grandbaby. Also it's a old tradition for the soon to be grandmother to host it in my family.

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This baby shower debacle exposes the raw nerve of family boundaries during pregnancy. The MIL and sisters’ stunt—ignoring the couple’s gender-neutral wishes and revealing the baby’s sex— wasn’t just a prank; it was a power play. Claiming the baby as “the family’s” to dress as they pleased dismissed the parents’ autonomy, while the social media post amplified the violation. The husband’s quick action and the mom’s defense signaled a united front, but the fallout left wounds.

Dr. Rachel Goldman, a clinical psychologist, notes in a 2022 Psychology Today article, “Unwanted interventions in pregnancy decisions can erode trust and strain family ties.” A 2021 Pew Research Center study found 62% of new parents value control over parenting choices, especially during pregnancy. The MIL’s tears and friends’ “picky” jabs deflect from their overstep, framing the mom as ungrateful rather than wronged.

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A calmer response, like returning gifts privately, might have softened the drama, but the betrayal—especially the breach of medical privacy—justified their anger. Experts suggest setting firm boundaries early, like limiting family access to appointments.

Check out how the community responded:

The Reddit crowd swooped in like a protective flock, dishing out support with a side of outrage at the family’s gall. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the online crew, served with a dash of baby-shower sass:

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[Reddit User] − NTA at all. They *ruined* one of the most important parts of a pregnancy for a couple (the gender reveal) *against* your explicit wishes for... A silly prank? And expected you to react well to this? Good on your hubby for standing up to this crazy. Don't listen to people saying you are in the wrong because if the shoe were on the other foot they would probably be reacting very differently.

janewilson90 − NTA. I opened the first gift and it said, Mommy made a bombshell, in a bright pastel pink shirt. Who the f**k thinks that's an appropriate slogan for a baby t-shirt?!. You asked for gender neutral and got given... icky super creepy t-shirts.. They said that their neice was the families baby so they get a say in what they wear.

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That isn't how reality works.. *edit* I just re-read and saw that they actually told you the gender when you didn't want to know!!. That is a massive overstep on their part! How did they even find out!? Its not like it gets printed out on the scans!

[Reddit User] − NTA INCREDIBLY selfish of them to force all that gender s**t you explicitly did not want. I will sometimes add something not on the registry (like something sentimental my son used or something handmade or that helped me through) with a gift from the registry but they KNEW you didn’t want this.

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[Reddit User] − NTA.. Do you know how refreshing it is to have a story where the husband actually confronts his family? Boundaries with the future kid start now and it is *great* that you **both** made it clear who will be making the rules concerning your kid(s). (Cool theme, too. And the gendered stuff is so detrimental in the long term that I'm a little horrified they were so casual about it.)

GingerCatEgg − Nta equally I don't know of it's different for you, but where I am it doesn't say baby gender on the screen and it's pretty hard for non trained people to tell from the scan?

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ambikayla − NTA. And your nursery sounds so cool! Omg! Also, please give your hubby extra points for standing up to his mom!!!

Cat_tophat365247 − NTA. YOUR baby YOUR choice. On literally everything. If they are this bad now... Be ready to have to bar them from the delivery room or they will take video and post in on insta because its the 'family baby' I have never heard such nonsense. Good on your hubby for standing up for you but they're such assholes that he had to is just....awful. I am sorry Op.

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Solaris_0706 − NTA at all. They massively overstepped, I'm glad to hear your husband was so supportive of you and kicked them out. The fact one of your sisters looked at your scan to find out the gender that you had expressed you didn't want to know, then to make a public spectacle of it all... I'd be so pissed at all of them.. Congratulations on your baby girl though ❤

basketballwife − Wholly s**t NTA. Make them cry again.

DiTrastevere − I opened the first gift and it said, Mommy made a bombshell, in a bright pastel pink shirt.. *Huuuurrrkkk* It is forever beyond me why people feel the need to sexualize infants. NTA for this alone, everyone who colluded with MIL needs a very long time-out.

Redditors cheered the couple’s stand, slamming the MIL and sisters for their entitled “family baby” claim and creepy gendered gifts. Some questioned how the sister accessed the ultrasound, while others praised the husband’s backbone. Do these takes capture the violation’s weight, or just fuel the family fire?

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This saga of a sabotaged baby shower and a gender reveal gone wrong shows how fast family can cross lines when boundaries aren’t respected. The couple’s firm response protected their vision but fractured ties, proving parenting starts with tough choices. It’s a reminder that pregnancy is personal, not a family free-for-all. What would you do if your family hijacked your special moment? Share your thoughts—how would you navigate this boundary-busting mess?

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