WIBTA if I don’t apologize for asking my girlfriend’s friend if she was single?

A sharp-tongued retort sets off a firestorm when a man, fed up with his girlfriend’s friend’s relentless jabs, asks if she’s single after she calls him “disgusting.” Her barbed comments about his relationship—think “you don’t deserve her”—finally push him to snap back, only for her to run crying to his girlfriend, demanding an apology he’s not keen to give.

This isn’t just a petty spat—it’s a showdown over boundaries and respect. The friend’s hurt feelings clash with his frustration, while his girlfriend’s stuck in the middle, urging peace. Reddit’s got his back, roasting the friend’s audacity. The tale unfolds like a campus drama, revealing how words can sting and loyalty gets tested when egos collide.

‘WIBTA if I don’t apologize for asking my girlfriend’s friend if she was single?’

Everytime my girlfriend and I have an argument, she has this one friend who always tries to give me advice. But her advice sucks. It's not constructive in any way. She could say, 'Hey, look, I heard you guys weren't doing so hot.

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Listen, I've been her friend for a while, and even though I don't like you, I want her to be happy, so let me give you some pointers,' but instead she says things, like, 'You don't deserve her. She should leave you. I don't know how you guys are still together.'

Blah blah blah. I told my girlfriend and my girlfriend said she would talk to her, but nothing's really changed and I don't really pay it too much mind. Recently, the friend said to me, 'You're disgusting. If you were my man, I would have left you a long time ago,' to which I replied, 'Aren't you single?'

She got upset and told my girlfriend, and my girlfriend said I had gone too far. She said she can't make me apologize, but she thinks that I should because her friend was really hurt by it.. I say good. Maybe now she can keep her opinions to herself.

The man’s quip about the friend’s single status was a defensive jab, sparked by her unprovoked insults about his worthiness as a partner. While sharp, it aimed to deflect her hostility, though it escalated tensions. The friend’s overstep—offering harsh, unsolicited criticism—crossed a boundary, and his girlfriend’s push for an apology overlooks this.

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A 2021 study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that 68% of relationship conflicts involve third-party interference, often worsening disputes (JSPR, 2021). Dr. Terri Orbuch, a relationship therapist, says, “Friends should support, not sabotage, a partner’s relationship unless there’s clear harm” (The Love Doctor). The friend’s attacks suggest personal bias, not concern, undermining the couple’s dynamic.

The man’s retort, while biting, was proportionate to the friend’s rudeness, but apologizing could de-escalate, even if insincere. His girlfriend’s failure to firmly address her friend’s behavior signals a deeper issue—lack of mutual defense. The friend’s sensitivity to the “single” comment hints at her own insecurities, not his cruelty.

He should discuss with his girlfriend the need for mutual respect, urging her to set boundaries with her friend. A calm conversation could clarify his frustration and her friend’s role. If the friend persists, limiting contact is wise. Couples counseling might help align their values (BetterHelp).

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Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit’s dishing out spicy takes on this drama, with a side of shade for the friend’s nerve—grab some popcorn for these zingers!

Insta_Saddie − NTA it’s not her place to get involved in your relationship in the first place and she was saying some pretty rude and n**ty things. Your girlfriend shouldn’t be okay with that either. And if that’s really all you said, it’s pretty light compared to what she said to you

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nova9001 − NTA. The problem isn't this girl the problem is your gf who thinks this kind person is a good friend for advice.

Bannednana − NTA - Your girlfriend was upset by 2 words you said to shut this girl down when she's flung how many n**ty ones at you? And she hasn't come to your defense? I agree with you. Now maybe she'll think twice before flinging s**t at you.

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endearinglysarcastic − NTA. She called you disgusting - that’s just plain rude. She sounds like an unpleasant person, who takes great enjoyment from being unkind to you. Frankly, that’s not behaviour I’d tolerate from my friends; even if they didn’t like my partner, I’d expect them to be moderately civil. If I were you, I’d talk to your gf.

Tell her that this behaviour isn’t on, and that you’ve coped with it for long enough. Tell her that either her friend moderates her behaviour, you both avoid each other, or you’ll continue on the same path. I don’t see how your gf can reasonably expect you to apologise when the friend has been so cruel.

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And for what it’s worth...‘aren’t you single?’ Isn’t even an insult. I’d probably have told you that ‘yeah, I have standards’. Having said that, I probably would’ve respected you for that comeback. So while I’m not a fan of being mean, come on...she shouldn’t dish it out if she can’t take it.

dayvyd113355 − With the information given here id say nta, I'm curious to know if there's a reason she's so put off by you though?

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pygmychiquita − INFO: Are you a s**tty and/or abusive boyfriend? This just sounds incredibly one sided. People don’t go around telling friends to break up with their partners for shits and giggles.

all-i-live-for − NTA. She shouldn't dish it out if she can't take it.

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EvanWasHere − NTA. You don't have a friend problem. You have a gf problem.. Your GF shouldn't be giving her any info if the friend just turns around and attacks you with it.

Additionally, the GF should instantly shut her friend down if she says anything n**ty to you. She is supposed to defend her BF the same way you would defend her.. And you are definitely NTA for hitting her back where it hurts.

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spervince − INFO - what did you do that made her say this?

[Reddit User] − INFO: what are your (alleged) actions that cause her to say things like that to you?

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This saga of sharp words and bruised egos is a classic case of boundaries gone wild, with a friend’s venom meeting a quick-witted retort. Reddit cheers the man’s stand, slamming the friend’s gall and nudging the girlfriend to step up. It’s a juicy reminder that respect isn’t optional, even in love’s messy corners. How would you handle a friend who trashes your relationship? Drop your thoughts below—let’s spill the tea on this drama!

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