WIBTA if I told my former MIL that me and her son broke up three months ago?

In a cozy world of lingering post-breakup ties, one Redditor finds herself caught in a web of awkward family expectations. After ending a two-year relationship, she stays friends with her ex, but he’s kept their split a secret from his warm-hearted mother, despite sharing a home. Her cheerful texts, inviting the OP to a family birthday lunch, pile on the discomfort, as the ex’s refusal to come clean leaves the OP dodging messages and feeling like the bad guy.

Frustration brews as the ex ignores her pleas to tell his mom, even resorting to threats of cutting contact if she speaks up. With a blend of heartache and exasperation, the Redditor teeters on the edge of revealing the truth to preserve her bond with his mother. Reddit jumps in with fiery takes, turning this tale of tangled loyalties into a lively debate about truth and tact.

‘WIBTA if I told my former MIL that me and her son broke up three months ago?’

This delicate dilemma underscores the challenges of navigating family relationships after a breakup. The OP’s ex, by hiding their split from his mother, places the OP in an unfair bind, forcing her to either mislead someone she respects or risk their friendship by revealing the truth. His threat to cut contact if she speaks up reveals a manipulative streak, complicating their already fragile dynamic.

Relationship expert Dr. Susan Heitler notes, “Honesty, even when tough, fosters trust and clarity in relationships.” The OP’s urge to be truthful with her ex’s mother reflects her respect for their bond, while her ex’s secrecy risks creating confusion and hurt, especially as his mother continues to extend warm invitations.

This situation reflects a broader issue: managing expectations in post-breakup family connections. Many struggle with how to maintain ties with a partner’s family when the relationship ends, particularly when one party avoids transparency. The ex’s reluctance to inform his mother shifts an unfair burden onto the OP, who faces the fallout of his inaction.

To resolve this, the OP could gently share the truth with the mother in a private, respectful conversation, framing it as a desire to maintain honesty. Alternatively, setting boundaries with the ex, such as limiting contact, could protect her emotional well-being while encouraging him to take responsibility. Either way, prioritizing clarity and respect can untangle this messy web.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit community stood firmly behind the OP, condemning her ex’s refusal to tell his mother about the breakup as immature and unfair. They viewed his manipulative threat to end their friendship as a tactic to dodge accountability, leaving the OP to navigate awkward interactions with his unsuspecting mother.

Redditors commended the OP’s patience and suggested she prioritize honesty with the mother, given her kindness, or distance herself from the ex to avoid further drama. They saw his secrecy as disrespectful to both the OP and his family, emphasizing that transparency is essential for maintaining trust in any relationship, even a platonic one.

This breakup saga dishes up a poignant reminder that honesty can untangle even the stickiest family ties. The OP’s struggle to balance loyalty to her ex with respect for his mother highlights the delicate dance of truth in post-breakup relationships. Have you ever faced a tricky situation with an ex’s family? Share your experiences and strategies below—how do you navigate honesty versus loyalty?