AITA for eating alone in a different room at my boyfriend’s parents house?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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On a chilly mid-morning, a woman’s patience snapped as she shivered through another outdoor brunch at her boyfriend’s parents’ house, where 45°F temperatures turned hot food cold. Politely asking to move inside, she was dismissed, prompting her to eat alone in the dining room—a move her boyfriend later slammed as rude. Years of enduring their quirky insistence on deck dining fueled her stand, but left her questioning her etiquette.

This Reddit saga simmers with tension over hospitality and respect, where a guest’s comfort clashes with stubborn hosts. Her solo meal, a quiet rebellion against freezing politeness, stirred family friction and exposed her boyfriend’s lack of support. With warmth at stake and feelings frosty, this story pulls readers into a drama of boundaries and chilly receptions.

‘AITA for eating alone in a different room at my boyfriend’s parents house?’

For many years, my bf's parents have had us over for brunch, lunch, or dinner. They have a nice deck with an outdoor table and chairs and use it to eat or hang out. Thing is, it has to be freezing temperature before they will concede and eat in the dining room. I've had to sit on that deck many times trying to eat my food while I'm shivering, even though I'm wearing layers.

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Last week, we went over there for brunch mid-morning. The outdoor table was set with plates, etc. I had my layers on again, but I was cold. When we were outside, I noticed the thermometer read about 45F. The food got cold quickly, and I decided I had enough. I told them as nicely as I could that I was too cold.

The mom turned to the dad and asked, 'Well, should we pack it in?' The dad, scooping food into his mouth, said, 'Nah, it's not too bad out here.' and kept on eating. Nothing more was said, not even from my bf. Everyone kept eating. So I apologized sincerely that I needed to eat inside, gathered my plate, napkin, silverware, and glass, and went in to the dining room.

I finished eating before they were done, and since I was warmed up I went back to the deck while they chewed the cud and finished up. I could feel tension and no one talked to me. After we left, my bf berated me in the car for being rude.

I agree it's not the best thing to do, but I had put up with this for a long time out of politeness and I think their behavior is nutty. Sure, after years of this, I should know better than to go over there with my bf if it's a cold day. I do it to be a good gf and 'daughter-in-law.'

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Shivering through a 45°F brunch, the woman’s choice to eat indoors was fair after her boyfriend’s parents ignored her polite request to move inside. Their insistence on outdoor dining, despite cold food and her discomfort, showed poor hospitality. The father’s dismissive “it’s not too bad” prioritized their quirk over guest comfort, leaving her to fend for herself after years of enduring similar chilly meals.

Her boyfriend’s berating her as “rude” instead of supporting her signals a troubling lack of loyalty. His silence during the moment and the family’s tense reaction suggest they valued tradition over empathy. Her courteous apology before moving indoors highlights her goodwill, making their cold shoulder seem ungracious and unfair.

Dr. Elaine Aron notes, “Ignoring a guest’s discomfort strains relationships.” The parents’ rigidity and the boyfriend’s criticism reflect this, risking alienation. Her action mirrors reasonable boundary-setting when hosts fail to adapt, especially in a touristy setting like Barcelona where clear communication is key.

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She should discuss mutual respect with her boyfriend and skip future cold-weather meals or insist on indoor seating. The parents should consider guest comfort, perhaps with heaters. This story stresses balancing personal needs with family expectations, urging empathy to maintain strong bonds.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit users strongly backed the woman, calling her boyfriend’s parents rude for dismissing her discomfort and forcing guests to endure cold. They criticized the father’s cavalier attitude and the mother’s inaction, labeling their hosting inconsiderate. Many flagged the boyfriend’s berating as a major red flag, urging her to reconsider the relationship if he can’t prioritize her well-being.

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The community agreed 45°F is too cold for outdoor dining without accommodations like heaters, and her polite exit to eat indoors was justified. Some suggested she skip future cold-weather visits or insist on indoor seating upfront. The consensus highlighted poor hospitality and her boyfriend’s lack of support, reflecting broader issues of respect in relationships.

Hegel321 − NTA They were rude, you’re a guest, they should have went inside. Wtf is wrong with them? 45f is COLD. Maybe they should invest in a patio heater.

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float05 − NTA. When you said you were cold, the dad should have agreed to go inside. What kind of a**hole wants his guests to be uncomfortable?. I’m scratching my head about why they want to be out there. Dad must have terrible farts.

Turkeysocks − Gonna have to say NTA. You expressed the fact it was too cold to be eating outside. They chose to ignore you and continue on eating like you said nothing. And then your boyfriend berated you

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and complained that you were rude to go inside because it was too cold for you to eat outside. You need to sit down and have a serious conversation with your boyfriend about this. Eating outside is fine when the weather is good, but eating in 40 F degree weather isn't.

Sevenspoons − NTA They are rude hosts. Your BF not offering to do inside or following you inside is a major red flag.

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Traveling-Techie − What kind of flaming AHs insist that their guest be uncomfortable? NTA

Weird-Pomegranate388 − OP might want to find a new bf who is reasonable, and if still alive, with reasonable parents. Life is too short to be miserable.

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HaggisDragon − NTA. Look I don’t mind sitting outside in layers when it’s pretty cold, maybe it’s the Scottish upbringing, but I would NEVER expect a guest to come outside or remain outside it it was not a comfortable temperature for them.

I would also be checking in on my guests to see where they were most comfortable eating without them having to prompt me. I wouldn’t even agree that ‘it wasn’t the best thing to do’. You were significantly uncomfortable

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shivering and expressed your discomfort to the group before having to make a decision for yourself. His parents might not be willing to adapt but your bf owes you an apology at the very least for making you feel uncomfortable with your decision.

[Reddit User] − aloof fall abounding snails dull faulty seed scandalous jobless wrench. *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact]*

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Individual_Ad_9213 − NTA. Don't return until your boyfriend says that everyone is eating indoors. This is ridiculous.

coloradogrown85 − OP, you were not rude. Your BF he's rude. Your BF's family,they are rude. What's more they clearly don't know anything about hosting company, which makes them even ruder.

NTA- you deserve a better boy friend. Why would you want to be a 'daughter-in-law' to those AH's? Would you let them treat your child that way?. treat yourself better, you deserve that.

This chilly brunch tale shows how stubborn hosts and an unsupportive partner can freeze out a guest’s comfort. The woman’s stand to eat indoors was fair, but the fallout reveals deeper cracks in respect. Clear boundaries and a frank talk with her boyfriend could thaw tensions. How would you handle hosts who ignore your comfort? Share your thoughts below—let’s keep this warm debate sizzling!

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