AITA For Refusing to Hide My Scars at a Friend’s Pool Party?

The sun blazed over a backyard pool party, laughter mingling with the splash of water—until a friend’s harsh words turned the vibe ice-cold. A Reddit user, sporting small surgical scars and fresh stitches, was ready to soak up the day in her bikini. But her friend’s sudden demand to cover up, followed by a stinging outburst calling her scars “disgusting,” sent her packing.

This AITA post dives into a raw clash of body acceptance and friendship gone sour. The OP, blindsided by her friend’s cruelty, wonders if she should hide her scars in the future. Reddit’s response? A resounding defense of her right to bare her skin. Was her friend’s reaction a one-off or a deeper issue? Let’s plunge into this poolside drama.

‘AITA For Refusing to Hide My Scars at a Friend’s Pool Party?’

What started as a chill day by the pool turned into a confrontation over body image. Here’s the Reddit user’s story in their own words:

Two weeks ago I had four moles removed. One on my arm, the other ones in my stomach area. I had two stitches on my arm. I also have scars in my hip area because of an appendix burst a couple of years ago. No scar is longer than 4cm (1,5 inches)

When a friend of mine (24F) invited me to come over and have a 'pool party' (the other people there were her boyfriend, her sister and sister's boyfriend and they all live in one household) I told her that I will come but that I'm not allowed to go in the pool yet. It was very hot outside so I just wore my bikini with a light top.

I did not have a band-aid on so the stitches on my arm were visible. The others were in the pool and I was chilling by the side with just my feet dipping in. After a while my friend came to me and asked if I could put on a band-aid because seeing the stitches made her uncomfortable. Sure thing, I put a band-aid on.

After some more time she asked me to wear pants because of my scars. That confused me, she never said anything like that before and has seen them many times. I told her that I didn't even bring any. She freaked out and told me to go home and get some pants.

When I asked what her sudden problem with my scars was she yelled at me that it's disgusting and depressing. I then went home and didn't return. I get that scars, even if they're small, aren't pretty but I never felt bad about them before. I also understand that they can be a painful reminder of the past.. AITA here and should hide them in the future?

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This poolside spat exposes the sting of body shaming and the pressure to conform. The OP’s friend, previously unbothered by her scars, lashed out, revealing a discomfort that likely stems from personal biases or insecurities. The OP’s choice to wear a bikini was an act of confidence, not provocation.

Dr. Vivian Diller, a psychologist specializing in body image, notes, “Scars can trigger discomfort in others due to societal ideals of ‘perfection,’ but shaming them is a projection of personal issues” (Source). The friend’s outburst reflects this, possibly heightened by the social setting. A 2022 study in Body Image found that 60% of women face appearance-based judgment in social gatherings, often from peers (Source).

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This ties to broader issues of body positivity and ableism. The friend’s demand to cover scars echoes outdated norms that stigmatize visible differences. Advice: The OP should set boundaries, calmly stating, “My scars are part of me; I’m comfortable with them.” If the friend persists, reconsider the friendship. Therapy could help OP process this hurt.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit dove in with fiery support, serving up sharp takes on this body-shaming showdown. Here’s what the community had to say about the OP’s poolside ordeal:

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SP10MK2 - NTA. People are dumb. If you manage to stay friends with this person (which I doubt) this will be hilarious when everyone is older and ravaged by time.

[Reddit User] - NTA. I say this as someone with a large portion of my body covered in scars; some that are so big I literally can not hide them unless I wear a turtle neck & jeans 24/7.... CUT HER THE F**K OFF.. Don't ever speak to that friend again. If she has some sort of trauma related to seeing scars, that's HER OWN ISSUE and shouldn't be projected onto you. Her behavior was disgusting & uncalled for.

I do, sometimes, get very insecure about my scars, and about new people seeing them... but I'd never, NEVER, allow someone to speak to me like that about it. [Side note: my scars are not self harm scars & neither are the OP's mentioned in this post. Covering self harm scars, out of respect, around someone who is trying to get better is a completely different situation.]

[Reddit User] - NTA. It would be different if you had open wounds but they’re literally scars that they’re asking you to cover up. There’s no health risk in having scars exposed. They’re your scars and it’s up to you whether you want to cover them or not.

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[Reddit User] - NTA, and you need new friends. Jesus christ.

[Reddit User] - Your 'friend' needs to grow up. It shouldn't have been a big deal. NTA.

Christovsky84 - NTA. Your friend sounds like a complete d**k. Find new friends.

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AnneKakes - NTA, and if I had to guess, maybe this is more about her b/f checking you out in a bikini than the scars (based on you saying she’s seen them lots of times before).

[Reddit User] - Of course, NTA.. If you had scars on your face would you be requested to wear a mask?. Your 'friend' isn't being a friend, and she needs to get over herself.

dovahshy13 - NTA. She has a psychological problem. Maybe some trauma. Her reaction wasn’t normal. I wouldn’t be bothered.

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[Reddit User] - Wtf, this is ableist as f**k. We did away with the ugly laws.. well, shockingly recently.. but the point is that we did away with them.. NTA.

These Reddit roasts call out the friend’s cruelty, but is there more to her reaction? Is this a dealbreaker or a moment to educate?

This pool party clash ripples with lessons about body acceptance and the sting of unexpected judgment. The OP’s scars, small but significant, became a flashpoint for her friend’s unwarranted shaming, leaving her questioning her confidence. Reddit cheers her resilience, but what’s your take? Have you ever faced criticism for your appearance? Would you hide your scars or wear them proudly? Splash your thoughts below and keep the convo flowing!

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