AITA for telling my MIL she’s not allowed back in our house anymore and limiting her contact with our son?

Picture a tense evening in a bustling family home, where the hum of a baby’s lullaby is drowned out by a mother-in-law’s sharp accusations. A couple, juggling demanding careers and new parenthood, faces a firestorm when the MIL insults the wife’s homemaking and confesses to secretly feeding their son forbidden foods. The husband’s swift decision to ban her from their home and curb her access to their child sparks family backlash, but he stands firm.

This Reddit saga dives into the raw clash of family expectations and parental authority. The MIL’s overreach—disrespecting boundaries and defying a pediatrician’s diet plan—pushes a couple to their limit. As Reddit roars with support, the question looms: was the ban too harsh, or a necessary shield for their family’s peace?

‘AITA for telling my MIL she’s not allowed back in our house anymore and limiting her contact with our son?’

My wife and I both work demanding jobs. Sometimes my mom comes over to help with housework and sometimes it's my MIL. Since my mom has some back issues she can't come around as much as my perfectly healthy MIL so sometimes most of the work falls on MIL.

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My wife and I don't mind if none of them help us out with our housework since we can balance it out on our own but my mom and MIL insist on helping us. A year ago my wife gave birth to our son. Since then my wife and I consult the pediatrician and have come up with a perfectly balanced diet for our son.

My MIL is not happy about it and she tries to intervene on how we raise our kid and what we feed him. My wife always tells her to mind her business but MIL doesn't listen. My MIL and mom take turns watching our son while wife and I are at work. Few days ago my wife had her day off of the week.

I went home after work and my MIL was there fighting with my wife. Basically she was accusing my wife of being lazy and not a proper housewife for not always cooking and cleaning for me. She was accusing my wife for being a bad mom but didn't offer any reasons on why she thinks that.

I got inbetween them and reminded my MIL that my wife is not my maid and we share the housework since we're both working adults. MIL told me to stop trying to justify my wife and that she did a bad job raising her daughter because she's not a properly trained housewife.

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Then she started attacking me for not demanding my own mom to do more to help us out and only expecting help from her. I told her we're not expecting help from anyone and that she was insisting on helping us out but nobody's forcing her just like I won't force my own sick mother to do more than she's able to do.

She kept yelling and woke up the baby and then accused us of waking up the kid. I ended up telling her to get out of our house, that she's no longer welcome here if she insults my wife and we'll just take our son to her place a couple of times a week to see him.

Out of spite then she admitted she's been feeding our son stuff we don't want him to have in his diet and she's doing it behind our back because we are stupid to listen to whatever our pediatrician says. Then I also told her, fine, she's also not allowed to be alone around our son anymore and we'll be limiting contact.

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Several relatives of my wife told us we're being TA, especially me since I'm acting ungrateful towards my MIL who has always helped us. They say I should apologise to her if I don't want to be called TA. So AITA?

Family support can be a lifeline, but when it comes with control, it’s a liability. Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, notes, “Boundary violations by in-laws often stem from outdated roles and can destabilize a couple’s unity” (gottman). The MIL’s insults and secret feeding of the son breach trust, undermining the couple’s parental authority and risking the child’s health.

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This incident reflects broader issues of in-law dynamics. A 2022 study by the Journal of Family Psychology found that 62% of couples report stress from in-law interference in parenting decisions (apa). The MIL’s actions—criticizing the wife’s role and defying dietary guidelines—mirror this pattern, escalating from help to harm. Her admission of going behind their backs raises red flags about accountability.

Dr. Susan Forward, a family therapist, advises, “Clear consequences for boundary violations protect family harmony” (psychologytoday). The husband’s ban and limited contact are justified, prioritizing his son’s safety and his wife’s dignity. For resolution, the couple could offer supervised visits after an apology, ensuring boundaries are respected. Professional childcare might replace MIL’s role, reducing reliance. This story underscores the need for firm lines with overbearing relatives.

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These are the responses from Reddit users:

The Reddit crew charged in like protective neighbors, unloading support for the husband’s stand with a side of shade for the MIL’s antics. Their comments blend outrage at her overreach with cheers for the couple’s unity. Here’s the unfiltered pulse from the crowd:

poeadam − NTA. While I doubt you will be able to continue to feed your son a 'perfectly balanced diet', you should definitely be the ones who decide what he eats. MIL is out of line.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Don't they say give them enough rope and they'll hang themselves? She just did:. she admitted she's been feeding our son stuff we don't want him to have in his diet. Your MIL has the syndrome of *'I raised my children 30 years ago so I know even better than professionals' .

Not someone you'd like to keep around your baby taking into account that the way kids were raised 30 years ago wasn't truly how it should have been done and that NOW we have just started learning how.

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RandomSOADFan − Any good your MIL has done is nullified by being sexist to her own daughter and feeding your child without your approval. What if your son was allergic to something?. NTA. Your MIL is not a healthy contact for your son to have.

ReactionAcceptable33 − NTA.. It's a clear boundary violation and MIL should apologize for not minding her own business. If she's so adamant that she did a terrible job at raising your wiife, then why should you even let her get a chance with your son?

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[Reddit User] − NTA. On the contrary, you did exactly the right thing. You stood up for your wife, and when it was revealed that MIL was going against your pediatrician's advice (and against your wishes as parents) you responded by informing her that she would no longer have unsupervised visits with your child..

In your place, I would have cut her off completely. As for all the help she's given you, no one can use that as leverage since it's not help you asked for or require. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You are spot-on.

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cjack68 − NTA. Let's call this what it is: an abusive relationship between your MIL and your wife that is now extending to you and your son. Proceed accordingly.

[Reddit User] − NTA. That was some wild behavior from her. And this is why they that free help is never free. Sign up for daycare or hire a nanny. Relying on your MIL is obviously not a good idea.. Has she feeding your baby sweets or unhealthy foods?

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[Reddit User] − NTA, especially since she’s been going against the diet your paediatrician outlined for your son. That could put his health in danger, therefore she’s a danger to your son.

[Reddit User] − NTA. What if your son had an allergy and she fed him something that made him sick?! Stay No Contact for your son’s sake and your wife’s. They are your immediate family and your first responsibility.

QuinGood − NTA. Time to take BOTH mothers off childcare and housework duty. Call the daycare licensing board where you live, get names, and make arrangements for someone else to watch your children.. Good Luck

Redditors rallied behind the husband’s decisive action, condemning the MIL’s disrespect and health risks. Their takes are fiery, but do they capture the full weight of family ties and childcare reliance? This in-law clash has everyone debating boundaries and gratitude.

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This tale of a rogue MIL shows how fast help can turn hostile when boundaries are trampled. The husband’s ban, sparked by insults and dietary sabotage, shields his family but stirs relatives’ ire. Parenting is a couple’s domain, and unsolicited control has no place in it. Have you ever had to draw a hard line with a meddling relative? Share your stories—what would you do in this husband’s shoes?

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