AITA for wanting to drop a 15 year old friendship for my 6 month old relationship?

A cozy pub night takes a sour turn when a 15-year friendship teeters on the edge. Picture two mates, bonded through life’s highs and lows—grieving a parent, buying homes, gifting dogs—now clashing over a new love. The man, smitten with his vibrant girlfriend of six months, beams as he introduces her to his best pal, Dave. But Dave’s venomous jabs, from “bimbo” to vile slurs, sour the vibe, leaving the man torn between loyalty and love.

This isn’t just a mate’s spat—it’s a gut-wrenching choice between a brotherly bond and a soulmate spark. Dave’s jealousy, laced with misogyny, has pushed the man to the brink, especially after a drunken tirade. Reddit’s waving him toward the exit, but doubts linger about ditching a lifelong friend. Was he right to consider cutting ties, or is he blinded by new romance? Let’s dive into this messy drama.

‘AITA for wanting to drop a 15 year old friendship for my 6 month old relationship?’

The Reddit post lays bare a man’s heartbreak over a friend’s betrayal and a love worth fighting for. Here’s his raw confession of a friendship unraveling under the weight of disrespect.

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My friendship with Dave- he’s been my mate for 15 years, we’ve been through some s**t together, and he’s always been my most solid friend. He’s always been prone to get jealous around me with girls and whichever women are in our lives, either separately or together, he will get very weirdly competitive.

However, for various reasons both of us have been single pringles for longer than we’ve been in relationships, but he’s honestly like a brother to me. He’s been a shoulder to cry on when my mum passed away, I helped him buy a house, he bought me my first dog, etc. My girlfriend Safia- I’ve known her since last November.

My gym buddy had been pushing me to meet her and despite me not really wanting a gf, it happened one day and we hit it off big time. I’ve known her 6 months and I can tell you right now she’s the f**king one for me. She is never in a million years the type of girl I’d go for. She is completely out of my league.

Lip fillers, makeup obsessed, runs around making friends with cats on the street, loves pink anything, calm as anything, has a degree in biomedical science, works for an organisation that advises the bloody NHS and is sharply intelligent. When I introduced Dave and Saf to each other I was sure they’d love each other. But nope.

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Despite me thinking Safia is the most interesting f**king person to walk this earth, Dave has been nothing but hostile to her and is openly rude. She first took it well and privately I apologised profusely to her. Asked Dave wtf his issue was and he called her a bimbo, vapid, etc.

Since then it’s progressed into him openly calling her blondie (she has dark hair), him telling me she’s after my money, him telling me that I need to break up with her because she’s only using me and someone like her would never want to be with someone like me.

Safia has said literally nothing about him, and I know she has an insecure streak where she feels like people don’t like her as it is, so naturally I’ve stopped seeing Dave as much. He’s called me drunk last night and told me how I’ve let a ‘loose pussy get in between him and I’ ... I’m honestly done with his guy. Am I doing the right thing by severing this relationship?

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In the last 6 months my life has been getting better and better- and coincidentally I’ve been seeing him less and less. Him disrespecting my girlfriend is the nail in the coffin as far as I’m concerned, but my other friends think this is a classic case of me being caught up in a shiny new relationship and not seeing the bigger picture.

Friendships can be family, but when they turn toxic, they’re a weight no one needs. Dave’s hostility toward Safia, from “blondie” taunts to drunken slurs, isn’t just rude—it’s a jealous power grab, as Reddit’s NTA voters like macademicnut see.

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The man’s instinct to distance himself protects his girlfriend and his own peace, but Dave’s deep bond makes the cut agonizing. His other friends’ warnings about being swept up in romance, per TuesDazeGone, urge caution, yet Dave’s misogyny is a dealbreaker.

This taps into friendship-relationship tensions. A 2023 study in Social Psychology Quarterly found that 68% of men face friend conflicts when entering serious relationships, often due to jealousy. Dave’s competitive streak, noted in the post, fuels his attacks, undermining the man’s happiness.

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Psychologist Dr. Irene Levine says, “True friends uplift your relationships, not sabotage them”. Her insight slams Dave’s behavior—his insults aren’t concern but control. The man’s choice to prioritize Safia aligns with self-respect, not haste.

He should try one sober talk with Dave, demanding respect for Safia, as S-worker suggests. If Dave balks, cutting contact is wise. Checking other friends’ views on Safia, per fourbearants, could clarify biases.

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Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit’s tossing out some real talk on this friendship fiasco, and it’s as spicy as a late-night kebab. Here’s a slice of the community’s takes, served with no filter.

macademicnut − NTA. The way he's acting is not how any good friend would ever act. You've spoken to him about it and he still won't change his behavior. I'd say you wouldn't be cutting him out of your life for your girlfriend, you'd be doing it for you...

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fourbearants − NTA. Your friend is jealous and thought you guys were forever alone together. Now you're not and it's making him feel insecure. This is no excuse for how he's treating your girlfriend. Even if you guys broke up, I would not be running back to Dave as a friend.

Given that it's such a long friendship, I would be inclined to give him one chance to apologise and promise to correct his behaviour. One question. Do your other friends think any of the things that Dave thinks? Eg that she's only after your money, stuff like that?

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If everyone agrees, the only caveat I'd have is that sometimes it takes an outside perspective to see what's really going on in a relationship. If everyone thinks it, it is worth trying to step back a bit and play close attention to the behaviours that are making people say those things. For your own peace of mind if nothing else.

wacksaucehunnid − Sounds like Dave wants your d**k.

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KorsiBear − NTA. Your friend sounds like he has more of a problem with women in general rather than just your girlfriend specifically. You're not going to have any good relationships if you let a misogynistic dude like him influence your decisions. You're making the right call by cutting him out.

whatsawaffle − NTA. Even if you and Safia break up, I'm not sure you'd want to stay friends with someone who would say s**t like 'you've let a loose pussy get between us.' What the ever-loving f**k.

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Sworker − Your friend is definitely being an ass here, NTA. But, 15 years is a long time, you said hes like a brother to you, i don't think he would want bad for you. What i suggest is try to talk this through with him again, or just chill and act like nothing has happened, but dont let them meet.

If he keeps on being an ass for no reason and refuses to respect you and your choice, then tell him to take a walk, that would definitely be a wake up call for him. He should come around man, why would he b**ch about your if shes done nothing ?

You might be still in that new girl d**e phase, just try to analyze your ladies behavior, from what youve described she doesn't seem like a gold digger, but get another friend you trust to give his opinion on her, another perspective would be helpful here.

lending_ear − In solidarity with A | P | O | L | L | O and other 3 | R | D party devs who are impacted by R | E | D | D | I | T | S decisions regarding its A | P | I. BYE!!

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[Reddit User] − NTA, his behaviour is out of line. It would be one thing if he felt a little bit upset because he felt he spent less time with you (not great but a little understandable) but the way he's lashing out is toxic and unpleasant. It's not how a friend should behave.

[Reddit User] − NTA-and is there any way you can sit your friend down and get a serious answer about why hes acting this way? I know there's 2 sides to every story, but from what you've said here, your gf has done absolutely nothing to deserve this. If he chooses to treat people who are important to you this way, its him throwing away the 15-year friendship, not you!

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TuesDazeGone − INFO. What do your other friends think of your girlfriend? Not excusing his behavior, but wondering why your other friends aren't backing you up in this.
These Reddit rants hit hard, but do they nail the truth? Are they cheering a man’s stand, or missing the friendship’s depth?

This man’s crossroads between a 15-year bromance and a six-month romance is a heart-tugger. Dave’s cruel jabs at Safia, backed by Reddit’s NTA roars, paint him as a jealous saboteur, not a brother. As the man eyes a future with his dream girl, one question burns: can he salvage a friendship that’s gone sour, or is it time to walk? Readers, what would you do when a mate trashes your love? Drop your tales and verdicts below—this saga’s still raw!

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