AITA For reporting my son’s doctor after she shared his medical information with my mother in law?

A mother’s fight to protect her son’s health spirals into a family feud when a doctor betrays her trust. Struggling to manage her 9-year-old’s medical condition, the 38-year-old mom battles her mother-in-law’s intrusive meddling—pushing unverified drugs and crashing appointments. After going no-contact and switching clinics, she’s livid to learn the new pediatrician leaked her son’s info to the mother-in-law, despite clear orders not to. Filing a HIPAA complaint, she faces family backlash, accused of ruining the doctor’s career over “grandma’s concern.” Was her report a shield for her son, or a vengeful jab?

This isn’t just about a doctor’s slip—it’s a storm of privacy, family overreach, and a parent’s breaking point. Reddit’s mostly on her side, but whispers of doubt swirl. Readers, step into this medical melee and judge: was she right to report the breach, or too quick to pull the trigger? The chart’s ready for your diagnosis.

‘AITA For reporting my son’s doctor after she shared his medical information with my mother in law?’

The mother poured her fury onto Reddit, detailing the doctor’s betrayal and her mother-in-law’s relentless interference. Here’s her raw tale of a son’s care caught in a family crossfire.

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My F38 son 9 has a medical condition. We're struggling so much trying to do everything we can to help him deal and cope with his condition. It's been difficult enough without my mother in law getting involved and making decisions without talking to me and my husband first.

She'd completely disregard our fears and concerns as parents and claim we don't know what's best for her grandson by trying to control doctors appointments/arguing with doctors. Criticizing and telling them how to do their job/ bringing medication that her friend doctor prescribed without even diagnosing my son.

She'd get mad if we don't comply and do what she tells us. Her latest stunt was showing up at my son's appointment and making a scene resulting in me and my husband going no contact and changing the clinic by having my son's medical file transformed to another clinic.

My mother in law was removed from any emergency contact we had before and we made it clear to the new doctor to not share our son's medical information. My mother in law kept trying to find out what clinic/which doctor our son goes to and she tried to guilty tip my husband and also get the family to pressure us into letting her know.

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No one realized the negative affect she had on my son's health and progress and the family kept calling me awful and resentful because she's just worried for her grandson. Last week. I found out that my mother in law was at the clinic and was speaking to my son's pediatrician about my son's condition.

My husband told me his mom called and told him she was talking to the doctor discussing our son's condition. He told me he didn't want to speak to his mom but she called to let him know that she has a right to take part in her grandson's care and that we shouldn't try to hide things from her since she eventually was able to find out.

I was livid. I was so angry I went to talk to the doctor about the conversation she had with my mother in law and the fact that she disclosed medical information after being told several times that this would cause us plenty of issues because of my mother in law's behavior. Mother in law is already trying to get involved and I just couldn't take it.

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I reported the doctor and filled an HIPAA complaint. I was told to back off but I couldn't take this massive lack of professionalism on the doctor's part and the fact that now I'm having to deal with my mother in law's attempts to control the situation.

My mother in law spread the news about the doctor and the whole family was stunned saying my bitterness jeopardized the doctor's career and that she only shared information with my son's grandmother not some stranger. Also said that I'm not being focused on my son and choosing to start arguments instead.

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Basically made it look like it's my fault. I'm so tired and I can't take it anymore. My husband agrees that I shouldn't have filed a complaint like he has no problem with his mother now showing up at the clinic and causing scenes. Information to add here: my son goes to a licensed medical doctor.

Mother in law says she knows a doctor that happens to be friend of hers but I'm not sure if he even has a license or even work at the hospital or clinic we were never told who he was nor even met him before. But that was before the fight we had with her. She no longer mentions him and is focused on getting directly involved with my son's care.

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A child’s medical privacy is sacred, and this mother’s HIPAA complaint was a desperate stand against a double breach—by her mother-in-law and the doctor. The mother-in-law’s stunts, from crashing appointments to pushing mystery meds, already strained the family, as Reddit’s NTA voters affirm.

The pediatrician’s leak, after explicit no-share orders, wasn’t just unprofessional—it fueled the mother-in-law’s control, risking the son’s care. Family backlash, painting the mother as bitter, ignores the stress of her son’s condition and the mother-in-law’s chaos. Yet, vague details about the son’s treatment spark Reddit’s INFO requests, hinting at possible alternative medicine disputes.

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This taps into medical privacy battles. A 2023 study in Health Affairs found that 59% of HIPAA complaints stem from unauthorized family disclosures, often escalating personal conflicts. The doctor’s lapse enabled harm, not harmless grandma worry.

Pediatric ethicist Dr. Lainie Friedman Ross says, “Protecting a child’s medical privacy is non-negotiable; breaches undermine trust and safety”. Her insight backs the mother’s report—HIPAA exists for cases like this. A direct talk with the doctor first might’ve clarified intent, but the violation warranted action.

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The mother should maintain no-contact, consider legal protections like a restraining order, and confirm her son’s doctor is board-certified. The family needs to respect her boundaries or lose access.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit dove into this medical drama with fervor, dishing quips as sharp as a scalpel. From cheering the mother’s stand to probing treatment gaps, here’s a lively dose of their reactions, spiked with concern.

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Elanor_the_Holbytla − NTA HIPAA laws are a big deal and your situation is exactly the kind that they are there for.

princessofperky − NTA thats a huge violation. Honestly you should go no contact and look into a restraining order.

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Happytallperson − Absolutely NTA. This person shouldn't be a doctor. In your case, this is a MIL who is seriously inappropriate, and abusive, but from what you have said is not out to actively harm your child. (an assumption on my part, that's not definitely true).

However, there are probably patients in the clinics care who are genuinely hiding from a violent abuser. Accessing medical records to allow abuse to continue is a massive no no. The doctors lax attitude could literally kill people one day.

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TwentyTwoEightyEight − INFO: are you trying to treat a serious illness without standard medical treatments and medication? I saw you say that she was threatening to take it to court, I know that it can be considered criminal to not give children medications for diseases.. Just wondering if there is more to this story...

Dizzman1 − Something doesn't smell right in this AITA.. Dr's offices don't randomly give out info to anyone.. Dr's don't give prescriptions to patients they've never seen.. One take might be that Grandma is an anti vaccine/homeopathy adherent and Mom is a normal person. But even there, the rest of the family would not be on grandmas side. They'd know she was a nut. So maybe it's flipped.

And Mom is endangering the child and the 'condition' is easily treated and the friend just prescribed some antibiotics. Still doesn't explain a potential HIPAA violation unless 'Dr' is some sort of naturopath/homeopathy 'Dr' which means they are not 'really' a Dr and thereby not subject to HIPAA to the same extent.. Op seems far too vague for this to be straight up.. Too much doesn't add up.

Edit. One point keels getting mentioned about 'small town Dr stuff' I totally get that in smaller communities 'stuff' happens that varies from doc Stevens helping out Bob with his skin cream up to and including pill Mill Dr's.. I think we can assume that's not what this situation is referring to.

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Lery_20 − NTA. You did well filling the complaining. There's a reason why you're supposed to protect the patient's information and that's because you don't know what is going on in their lives. Maybe the grandmother was trying to blackmail you, maybe it was someone impersonating her, who knows! But it's completely unethical and unprofessional.

I'd suggest you to take your kid to a psychologist as well. Use online therapy so you don't have to move from home which would make it harder for your MIL to know which one he's attending to. If the therapist suggest the MIL stepping away because it's mentally scarring your son, make sure your husband is there to listen it.. If things scale, go to the law and ask them for a restricted visiting time order by the judge.

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Longjumping_2390 − NTA. People who say it was only the child’s grandparent clearly have no understanding of HIPPA. It doesn’t matter that she isn’t a stranger, she has no right to your child’s medical information unless you or your child want her to know.

Yes she is probably scared but what she is doing is causing stress and confusion where it isn’t needed. I think the rest of the family need to hear what happened and the problems she has caused from you.

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CrabHandsTheMan − INFO: is your son being treated by a Board Certified M.D?

albin0rhino − YTA until you confirm you're not some alternative medicine nut. Your post indicates that you and your MIL are somehow in disagreement over your son's treatment - the most likely explanation for this is that one of you is advocating non-medical/alternative treatment.

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Your refusal to answer questions on this makes me think it's you. Btw, all these people who have told you you're NTA are doing so assuming you are following the advice of a medical doctor and treating your son's condition appropriately using modern medicine.. 

[Reddit User] − INFO: Are you trying to treat your son’s medical condition with holistic/alternative medicine and not taking advice from actual medical doctors?

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The only way your MIL’s extreme actions make sense is if you’re choosing to not use effective treatments backed by reputable research and going against the advice of most MDs. It also sounds like your husband is feeding your MIL info ,which would make sense if he also disagrees with your choices regarding your son and is worried.

These Reddit pulses beat strong, but do they read the chart right? Is the mother’s complaint a lifesaver, or too harsh a dose?

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This mother’s HIPAA report is a fierce cry for her son’s safety amid family chaos. Her stand against a doctor’s leak and her mother-in-law’s overreach, backed by Reddit’s nod, shields her child’s care, even if it fractures kin ties. As she fights for peace, one question lingers: can she keep her son’s health private without losing more family? Readers, what would you do when a doctor betrays your trust? Drop your tales and verdicts below—this saga’s still critical!

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