AITA for not looking after a kid anymore?

The dingy halls of a rundown apartment block set the stage for a tale of kindness turned sour. Jake, a 27-year-old data analyst, thought he was doing a good deed by watching his neighbor’s 6-year-old son, Mark, while she juggled long shifts as a nurse aide. Picture a cramped living room, Hot Wheels scattered on the floor, and the smell of instant hot chocolate wafting through the air. But when Jake moved to a better place—thanks to a modest inheritance—his generosity was met with a jaw-dropping legal demand that flipped his world.

What began as a neighborly favor spiraled into a Reddit-fueled drama that’s equal parts heartbreaking and infuriating. Jake’s story tugs at the heartstrings: was he wrong to cut ties with a struggling single mom and her son? It’s a messy clash of goodwill, betrayal, and self-preservation that leaves readers wondering where the line between kindness and obligation lies.

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‘AITA for not looking after a kid anymore?’

I(27m) used to live in a s**tty apartment building. I had a neighbour right next to me called Sarah(approx 24f) who had a 6yo son mark. I had lived there for 3 years and moved out about 2 monthd ago. My grandfather passed away and left most of his money/possessions to me and my sisters, it wasn't much after taxes but I was able to use it as a deposit on an apartment.

Sarah and her son moved in about 4-5 months after I did and although she didn't talk about it I got the feeling that her ex hadn't been the greatest (police would come round occasionally to check she was ok, the kid was scared stiff of loud noises and yelling, etc). I work from home(data analyst) so was around a lot.

Mark used to go to a pre school while she worked and then after he started school he was supposed to go to an after school child minding thing. (Sarah works 10am-8pm as a nurse aid). Problem is that back in March of last year his after school thing closed and then a couple months later his school shifted all their learning online while his mum only got busier because of the virus.

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I kept seeing him playing outside by the road or hanging off the balcony and was a bit worried for his safety so started offering him hot chocolate and keeping an eye on him. About a week later Sarah came by and offered me $20. She was very apologetic and explained that her parents disowned her.

And she couldn't afford a full time nanny for him but also couldn't afford to quit her job to keep an eye on him which was basically her only other option. My older sister is a nurse and I'd seen her looking shattered and with bruises on her face from her masks so I felt really bad for them and offered to keep an eye on Mark while she worked since I was at home anyway and he's a cool kid.

Long story short I told Sarah in Oct I was moving out and she was distraught about what she'd do with mark(schools/childcare still hadn't reopened here yet). I offered for her to drop him off at my new place while she was working as a temporary solution during the virus.

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This had been working for the last couple of months until I received a letter from a lawyer basically informing me that Sarah was filing for child support against me as I had taken on a paternal figure in marks life. I immediately called Sarah and told her to come get Mark.

We had a massive fight because basically she thinks I can afford it so why shouldn't I pay it. After she picked him up I blocked her number and contacted a lawyer who to me that I would probably be fine as I'm not his dad and I never offered to take care of him in any financial way.

Sarah has been in touch with my sisters who think that I'm doing the right thing not paying but I'm being a d**k by refusing to look after Mark anymore. I feel like s**t since he's probably back to being stuck in those s**tty apartment blocks again but I also don't want to risk a court case. Aita for refusing to look after him while she works?

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TINY UPDATE: thank you for all the lovely messages, I can't see some of them because a reddit error keeps popping up but I'm trying to read all of them. I've said this a few times in the comments but will put it here too: after what has happened I have contacted child services, I haven't had an update from them but I will post here if I hear anything.

Helping a neighbor can feel like the right thing to do, but Jake’s story shows how quickly kindness can backfire. Sarah’s attempt to claim child support highlights a clash of desperation and entitlement, with Jake caught in the middle. He saw himself as a helpful neighbor; she saw a financial lifeline. Both perspectives stem from real pressures—Sarah’s grueling job and Jake’s desire to do good.

This situation reflects a broader issue: the risks of informal caregiving. A 2020 study by the National Alliance for Caregiving found that 53 million Americans provide unpaid care, often without clear boundaries. Misunderstandings can escalate fast.

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Dr. Pauline Boss, an expert on family stress, notes, “Ambiguous loss occurs when relationships lack clear boundaries, creating confusion and conflict”. Sarah’s legal move blurred the line between neighborly help and parental duty, leaving Jake betrayed. Boss’s insight suggests that unclear roles fueled this fallout. Jake was wise to step back, but reaching out to child services was a smart move to ensure Mark’s safety.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit didn’t hold back, dishing out shock and support in equal measure. From calling Sarah’s lawsuit “audacious” to lamenting Mark’s return to an unsafe environment, the comments are a rollercoaster of empathy and outrage. Check out the crowd’s take:

KmartDino3 − Nta. You were being nice and Sara decided to take even more advantage of you than she already was. The audacity of this lady! I seriously cannot even believe it. My jaw dropped reading this. I’m sorry you and Mark are dealing with this.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Why the f**k...?. In any case, she burned that bridge. Sad the child will suffer for it.

corgihuntress − NTA and you did the right thing. You did a lot for her and she decided to abuse your friendship. You have to protect yourself and if you continued to look after Mark, it would be a tacit agreement to her demands of the lawsuit and would no doubt work against you.

mike_uchi − NTA. she’s TA. she turned your humble voluntary service into a liability. no wonder her parents disowned her. what a tough situation to be in. wanting to help the innocent child but having to deal with his manipulative parent. i understand the dilemma you’re in. but you did good.

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mediastoosocial − The absolute cheek of it... excuse me, but what the f**k was she thinking? Someone who pulls a stunt like that doesn’t belong in your life. It’s a shame for Mark and a shame she no longer has childcare for him, but she really dug her own grave with that one. Huge NTA from me.

valerian_spiel − NTA. What on earth is wrong with your sisters? You are most certainly NOT an a**hole for refusing to watch Sarah's child again. Call me crazy, but I don't think filing a frivolous lawsuit for support 'because you can afford it' is any way to repay a kindness. If Sara has trouble finding alternate arrangements for Mark, she has only herself to blame.

grindelwaldd − NTA. But is this a legit thing? People can just randomly file for child support if you spend enough time around their children?

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musicteacher45 − NTA. She is a predator. Whose to say if she won't try to blackmail you with a false claim of rape, etc. You are getting out now thank God.

5pinktoes − I'm guessing Sarah and her attorney were going for in loco parentis?. Have mercy. Op, I'd stay the he!! Away from Sarah and Mark. I shudder to think what would happen if Mark got sick or injured under your watch. $$$$ and lawsuit.

ollyator − NTA. She ruined it. It’s all on her for trying to make you responsible for her kid. You were already go above and beyond. You’re a good person. Don’t let her make you doubt it.

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These spicy opinions light up Reddit’s flair for drama, but do they miss Sarah’s side? Her stunt burned bridges, no doubt, but her struggle as a single mom adds a layer of complexity.

Jake’s saga is a stark reminder that no good deed goes unpunished. His choice to protect himself over continuing to help Mark is a tough call, sparking debate about duty and self-preservation. As he navigates the fallout, we’re left pondering: where’s the boundary between neighborly kindness and overstepping? What would you do if a favor you offered turned into a legal trap? Drop your thoughts below!

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