AITA for refusing to pay my sister’s bill and giving her information to the restaurant after she ditched me?

In the warm glow of an upscale restaurant, where clinking glasses signal a night of indulgence, a woman savored a rare dinner with her sister. But the evening soured when her sister and boyfriend vanished, leaving a $450 bill and a smug text implying she’d foot it. Shared on Reddit, this tale of betrayal bubbles with tension.

The woman, blindsided by her sister’s assumption—built on past small tabs she’d covered—paid only her share and handed over her sister’s details to the restaurant. Now, with family urging her to pay up, she stands her ground, sparking a debate about loyalty, entitlement, and who picks up the check.

‘AITA for refusing to pay my sister’s bill and giving her information to the restaurant after she ditched me?’

This happened last night. My sister and her BF recently moved to a town next to mine. I was excited as we’ll be able to see more of each other now. Nearby, there is a downtown center that has a lot of shopping, restaurants, galleries, etc. There is one upscale restaurant that both my husband and I love. A dinner for two will run you about $200-$250 so its not a place we frequently go to.

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My sister called me last week and invited us out to dinner with them at the restaurant last night. I reminded her it was an upscale place and to take a look at the menu beforehand because they are pricey and we can go somewhere else, tons of other great places. She said they still wanted to go. We hadn’t been there in a while so we accepted. Dinner was great!

At the end of the meal my sister excuses herself to the bathroom and when she doesn’t come back relatively soon her BF goes to find her. After a while, neither of them comes back. We go to check for them and they are gone. I call/text her and she texts back that they’ve left but ‘thanks for dinner, it was just as amazing as you said it would be’.

I asked her what she meant but no response. I texted again asking if she really just stuck us with the bill and no response. I then texted that I never agreed to pay for them and that she had 30 minutes to come back to the restaurant or I’ll give the restaurant all her information and they will likely involve the police. No response.

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At the 30 minute mark I called/texted and got no response. So I stayed true to my word. I paid for mine and my husband's portion and gave all her information to the manager for their portion and then left. The next day she called me back upset that she’s been getting calls from the restaurant asking her to come pay or they’ll contact the police.

I said I’m not surprised since she skipped out on her bill. She said she thought I was paying the tab since I’ve paid for our dinners in the past (I have paid for her+me only dinners where the total tab was $60 max). I said this was obviously different than the other times we met for dinner (this was all four of us AND at an upscale restaurant) and I was not paying the $450 tab and she had to cover her portion.

I reminded her that she invited us out and chose the restaurant. I specifically asked if she wanted to go somewhere else but she is the one who insisted on going to this restaurant. I ever agreed to pay for everyone. She then said she thought I’d just pay but when I asked the waiter for separate checks she realized I wasn’t and left for the bathroom planning to ditch.

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I said that since the restaurant hadn’t contacted the police yet, all she had to do was go in and pay and it would be settled. She didn’t want to do that because it would be too embarrassing and asked me to cover it.

I again said no and that she had to take care of it. Our family has gotten involved and I’m being pressured to just pay the bill. AITA if I don’t and let the restaurant call the police?. Clearly I will not be paying for anything ever again..

Family dinners shouldn’t end in financial ambushes, yet this woman’s sister turned a night out into a costly betrayal. By ditching the restaurant and assuming her sister would pay, she exploited past generosity, revealing a sense of entitlement. The woman’s decision to share her sister’s info with the restaurant was a boundary, not spite, despite family pressure to cave.

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Psychologist Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne notes, “Entitlement in families often stems from unclear expectations, leading to resentment when assumptions clash” (source: Psychology Today, 2020). Here, the sister’s history of highlighting the woman’s salary suggests a pattern of leaning on her financially. Her deliberate exit after noticing separate checks confirms intent, not misunderstanding.

This reflects a broader issue: 45% of Americans report family conflicts over money, per a 2022 Financial Planning Association survey. The woman should hold firm, letting her sister face the restaurant’s demands, which could deter future stunts. Family members pushing her to pay could cover it themselves if so concerned.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit’s crew dished out their takes with a side of sass—here’s the scoop on their spicy opinions.

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HelperMonkey2021 − NTA. Your sister and her BF’s behavior was so gross. It is commonly understood that the assumption is that the bill will be split unless previously agreed that one person is paying.. Tell your family to pay her bill if they are so concerned.

AngelEliOF − NTA. Why doesnt the family thats pressuring you pay for the bill?

SDstartingOut − NTA. Our family has gotten involved and I’m being pressured to just pay the bill.. Tell them they are welcome to go in and pay the bill. Why should you have to do it?

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rsmayday − HUH?? She literally LEFT you at the restaurant and SHES embarrassed????. NTA

Soupcan_Sam_ − NTA - Your sister assumed that you would shell out $250 dollars for her and her boyfriend when you pushed for a cheaper restaurant? She's a freeloading AH.

sulevosanni − NTA she admitted that when you asked for two checks she decided to ditch you. she has to pay for her own meals, if she invited you to dinner and chose the restaurant she should’ve known that obviously YOU weren’t going to pay for her. she sounds really childish, and the family has no business to pressure you into paying her bill.

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kevipants − NTA. If she truly thought that you were going to pay, she would have said goodbye and not skipped out.. I'm surprised the restaurant let you go with only paying half of the bill, though.

[Reddit User] − NTA - wow, how old is your sister?! This is the kind of behavior I would expect from a delinquent 16-year-old, not an adult. Also, she invited you to dinner, so if anyone was going to pay for the table, it was her. This is such arrogant, bullying, narcissistic behavior, I would take a long, long break from eating out with her. Probably from seeing her period.

More-Pizza-1916 − NTA 1. She invited you out to the restaurant so the implication is usually that she should pay if not splitting the bill. 2. She refused to change to a cheaper restaurant while believing you would pay which makes it worse. 3. She admitted that she realised you did not intend to pay for her portion before she left. 4. She then admitted to intentionally ditching so you would have to pay

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5. Knowing this, she then sent you a message pretending she didn't and acted like it was normal to leave without saying good bye And now she says it's awkward. Well it will be a hell of a lot more awkward if the police show up.

Also, she can easily play it off like 'I am so sorry. I thought my sister was paying and I left. Here's the money'. I'd love to know what her bf thinks. And your family should chip in then if they think she shouldn't pay the bill then.

Neat-Bee1701 − NTA, Do NOT pay for the bill. Your sister has been getting away with things that she hasn’t had a taste of consequences. She disrespected by ditching you and not informing you that she had left. Obviously she didn’t value you at that point.. Don’t pay and let her learn her lesson. Keep us updated!

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These Reddit roasts raise a point: do they capture the gall of the sister’s move, or is family drama too messy for online judges?

This dinner debacle shows how fast family ties can tangle over money and assumptions. The woman’s refusal to pay her sister’s bill, while tough, defends her dignity against entitlement. What would you do if a loved one ditched you with a hefty tab? Have you faced family pressure to cover someone’s mess? Drop your thoughts below—let’s dish on this one.

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