AITA for not changing my rules and terminating care?

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In a cozy home daycare, Miss Lucy’s morning is pierced by a toddler’s wails, clutching a tablet his mom reluctantly pries away. Her strict no-electronics rule, born from past toy-breaking drama, clashes with a new mom’s insistence that her 3-year-old “needs” his screen, sparking daily tension and a fiery showdown.

This Reddit tale dives into the chaos of clashing parenting styles and firm boundaries. Was Miss Lucy wrong to terminate care abruptly? Let’s explore this toddler-sized tempest.

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‘AITA for not changing my rules and terminating care?’

I have a home daycare. I like to think I’m pretty lenient but I do have one big rule: Don’t make me the bad guy. I understand we might have different rules but don’t make your child resent me by not backing me up. Anyway, another rule is I don’t allow outside toys or electronics.

Kids can bring a stuffed animals for nap if they’re sleeping on rest mats but I don’t want to be responsible if something gets broken. Years ago, I used to let kids bring whatever. Then a cheap McDonalds toy broke by accident, kid was upset and mom got mad at me. So now it’s a hard rule.

Most are okay with it. But I have a new kid (3) who’s mom wanted him to bring his tablet because “he needs it”. I said sorry but no. I’m not going to be responsible for it. We went back and forth but finally she just says fine. But every morning, he’s crying because she took his tablet from him in the car.

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She always gives me this look and says “Miss Lucy says no tablet.” I always try to say we have plenty of toys, but the kids spends the whole morning sulking. I’ve talked to mom, asked her to leave it at home and not even put it in the car but she says he “needs it”. It’s been a month and yesterday was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Kid came in crying as usual. I tried my usual redirection which didn’t work. Mom was giving me a look of “see what you did”. Then she had the nerve to say to him “I know you need your tablet, we’ve talked about this before, Miss Lucy is strict”. That pissed me off. I ended up telling her to take him home right then and there.

She was shocked and tried to stammer. He was my first kid of the day so there was no scene. I just handed back his backpack, said he was no longer a student of mine and began to pack his extra clothes and the sippy cup he kept. Mom was in tears as she left.. My husband thinks she was right. I’m too strict and should’ve broken policy instead of causing drama. AITA?

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This daycare drama is a classic case of boundary battles, with a toddler’s tablet at the center. Miss Lucy’s no-electronics rule isn’t just about liability—it’s about fostering real playtime. Dr. Dimitri Christakis, a pediatrician, warns, “Excessive screen time in young children can hinder social and emotional development, mimicking addictive behaviors.” The mom’s refusal to leave the tablet at home, coupled with blaming Miss Lucy, turned a rule into a power struggle.

The broader issue is screen dependency, with studies showing 70% of preschoolers exceed recommended screen limits. Miss Lucy’s firm stance protects her daycare’s vibe, but her abrupt termination lacked tact, escalating the conflict. A warning or phased approach might have softened the blow. For parents, aligning home and daycare rules could ease transitions.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit’s commenters jumped in like kids at a bounce house, tossing opinions left and right. Here’s what they had to say about this tablet tantrum.

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MyBeautifulSweetsong − NTA. Tell your husband to watch the kid. That kid has problems if he's already addicted to that tablet. 10 bucks says 'he needs it' means I don't want to have to engage him so I shut him up with electronics.

Obvious-Skin-200 − NTA. If her only explanation was that he ‘needs it’ without any context or information then she knew your rules before enrolling her kid. She can’t expect people to bend to her every whim.. EDIT: because it took me 9 hours to realise me spelling mistake. F**k dyslexia. EDIT 2: because I f**king did it again in my edit

KatesDT − NTA. She had an entire month to explain to this kid that they can be no electronics at daycare. She chose to act like it was a big deal eve ru single morning, so of course kid is going to act that way. Obviously she wasn’t even trying to follow the rules. You did right.

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In situations Ike this, you give an inch, and they will take a mile. Or someone else will demand an exception. It becomes too hard to keep up with it all. Anyone with a sob story will get you to waiver. You are doing the right thing to just stop it now. Your husband is kind of being a jerk about it.

Why should you bend the rules for this one kid? What does he care? I’m sure you can find someone to take his place. What kind of example does it set for all of the other kids? Also, a 3 yr old should not need any electronic whatsoever. Kid is a toddler. Should not be that attached to a screen. She probably never actually parents that kid. I’m sure the tablet does all the work for her.

Els236 − A 3 year old does not need a frickin tablet. All that says to me is that she can't be bothered to have 'play time' with him at home and just dumps the tablet in his lap to occupy himself.. That in and of itself annoys me enough to put NTA before the other shenanigans.

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thesaura73 − NTA. The mom’s behavior is disgusting. She agreed to your terms by having her child attend your daycare and then undermined your authority with her weird passive-aggressive behavior (which teaches her kid nothing about following any societal expectations). Good for you for showing mom and child behaviors have consequences!

Recinege − NTA. The best possible cause of the mother's behavior would be if the kid was, like, non-verbal autistic or something and literally *did* need the tablet to be able to communicate. But in that case... you don't bring the kid to a place that doesn't *allow* tablets, and in all honesty you probably need to seek slightly more specialized daycare. And this definitely doesn't sound like that. It just sounds like a spoiled kid whose mother can't be bothered to actually parent him.

Right-Row6744 − NTA and GOOD FOR YOU MS. LUCY. Children have to learn at some point that the world isn’t going to cater to them and/or the way their parents choose to treat them. You’ve made the rules clear - the mother is fully to blame here.

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Frivolous-Sal − Ugh. He probably DOES need it, because he’s an addict. Research has shown that the brain on c**aine looks just like a brain on screen time. I shamefully wish I didn’t experience this first hand 😞 My son had to literally go through a digital “detox” at age SEVEN. However, NTA...big time. Mom needs a reckoning. And this won’t be the only time she will be refused childcare if she keeps it up.

proper-peony − NTA at all for all the reason you mentioned above plus no child should be addicted to a tablet at such a young age. Like wtf.

[Reddit User] − NTA, items from home can be easily broken by small children who do not know the value of that item, and do not understand the value of the item. Tablets and other electronics are a liability, and you can easily get into trouble if it breaks while on your watch, and tablets are not sturdy at all and are way more expensive than a McDonald’s toy.

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These Reddit takes are as lively as a preschool playroom, but do they nail the issue? Is Miss Lucy a boundary hero or too harsh?

When does sticking to your guns cross into overkill? Miss Lucy’s rule held firm, but her snap decision left a mom in tears. Have you ever clashed with a caregiver over rules? What would you do in this sticky situation? Drop your thoughts below!

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