AITA for getting my sister the HPV vaccine and birth control against our parent’s wishes?

In a quiet suburban home, a young man’s heart sinks as his teenage sister winces through another wave of excruciating cramps, her school days stolen by pain. Their devout parents, clinging to religious convictions, insist prayer will heal her, dismissing birth control and HPV vaccines as sinful. For this 25-year-old brother, watching his sister suffer was unbearable, prompting a secret mission to secure her the medical care she desperately needed.

This Reddit saga unfolds with raw emotion, as the brother’s covert actions—funding birth control and sneaking his sister for a vaccine—come to light, sparking family fury. Was he wrong to defy his parents’ beliefs for his sister’s health? Let’s dive into this heartfelt tale of loyalty, rebellion, and the fight for medical autonomy.

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‘AITA for getting my sister the HPV vaccine and birth control against our parent’s wishes?’

My (25M) parents are very religious Christians. They are pretty okay usually, but are crazy about no premarital s** etc. And in their minds this also means that you don't need things like the HPV vaccine or birth control until you're married. All because they 'pushed' you to have s**. Very flawed logic, I understand that.

They aren't against any other vaccinations, however. HPV is the only one they refused to let us get. When my sister was 15, she had been getting really bad period cramps and such. She missed school regularly because of it, and the doctors recommended getting her on birth control to help with it.

It was an immediate no from my parents. They were willing to try anything other than that. In the end decided to just exclusively pray for her recovery. So sister couldn't get on birth control and suffered every month because parents' refused to get down from their religious high horse.

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After the first few initial attempts at convincing, I didn't try to get them to understand why little sister needed birth control, and just started sending her money in secret to get it. She's 18 now, and doing much better. They thought their prayers were answered when sister started getting better. Parents were left in the dark for 3 years until recently.

Recently, I went to get vaccinated for HPV. I didn't know that men could also benefit from this vaccination. I decided to take my sister along since I know for a fact she didn't get this when doctor's recommended it. We got it, and things were fine until my parents figured out I took my sister to the hospital and pressed her to find out why. She came clean about everything.

Parents were furious. Started saying I was undermining their parenting, and that God would have listened to their prayers eventually and I'm just a horrible person overall. Sister ended up moving in with me. My sister feels a bit guilty too, and has said that maybe we should have gotten our pastor to speak with them if they wouldn't listen to doctors before we went behind their backs.

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This story is a gut-punch, highlighting the clash between personal beliefs and medical necessity. The brother’s decision to prioritize his sister’s health over their parents’ objections was a bold stand against neglect. Dr. Leana Wen, a public health expert, has stated, “Denying access to proven medical interventions like the HPV vaccine or birth control for non-medical reasons can have serious health consequences, especially for young women.”

The parents’ refusal likely stems from fear that these treatments enable premarital sex, a common concern in religious communities. Yet, severe menstrual pain, as the sister endured, often signals conditions like endometriosis, affecting 10% of women globally. The brother’s actions alleviated her suffering and protected her from HPV-related risks, like cervical cancer. His secrecy, while controversial, was a response to their parents’ unyielding stance.

Moving forward, the brother could encourage his sister to seek further medical evaluations for underlying conditions, as painful cramps may indicate serious issues. Open dialogue with parents, perhaps involving a neutral mediator like a doctor, might ease tensions.

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See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit didn’t hold back, dishing out support hotter than a summer barbecue. Here’s what the community had to say about this brother’s daring move.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Your sister is incredibly lucky to have you. Your parents’ attitude actively contributes to pain, disease, and unintended pregnancy among young women. As someone who suffered debilitating cramps until she went on BC at 16, I cannot imagine the psychological toll of my parents allowing me to suffer like that knowing there was an easy cure. You are wonderful for having helped her.

[Reddit User] − NTA. I had a friend whose parents were like this in high school. They found out her boyfriend’s mom was giving them condoms and freaked out and put an end to it. So instead she got pregnant at 15. Your sister is lucky to have you. Even if she’s not having s** yet, you did what was best for her health overall.

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Gold_Watering_Can − NTA they were willing to wait for God to do something about it. In my eyes, even just for menstrual cramps, it torture and inhumane. You did what you thought was right and she came out better for it. Parents can kick rocks.

CashieBashie − NTA- your sister has a right to get the medical treatment she chooses. Especially now that she’s 18. Your parents don’t get to control that aspect of her life. Especially because you helped her get birth control for a medical reason not because she was having s** (which even then I don’t think that’s wrong).

[Reddit User] − NTA. Religion doesn’t excuse stupidity. Your next move should be printing out google images of god looking rather angry, and putting them on the walls around the house.

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poopsiedaisie − NTA.. You're a great brother!. Tell your parents you prayed for forgiveness already and they should forgive you too. Its what Jesus would do.

[Reddit User] − Nta. Your sister is lucky to have you. You did what you could to look out for her health when your parents let her down. They have nobody to be angry with but themselves.

birdingisfun − NTA. You're both adults and can make your own decisions. And religious beliefs are no excuse for medical n**lect. Your sister is lucky you were able to help her out.

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mathlady89 − NTA... I’m pretty sure whenever someone prays for help or a cure for something a doctor could fix he sits there rolling his eyes like “I sent a solution for that to Earth years ago leave me alone!”

Terroa − NTA. Endometriosis girl here. I would have gutted anyone who told me prayers were enough to reduce the pain. If it hasn’t been done already, I’d suggest getting your sister thoroughly checked out for things like endometriosis and PCOS (usually it requires sonograms/MRI, at least for endometriosis, I don’t know for PCOS).

Painful cramps are often caused by such issues, and they often have an impact on fertility, can cause cancer etc. If the check ups come back positive for endometriosis, feel free to message me/give my username to your sister for advice, experience etc. I’d be happy to share!

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These Reddit opinions are fiery, but do they capture the full picture? Is the brother a hero or a boundary-crosser? One thing’s clear: when health is on the line, standing up for a loved one can stir up a storm.

This tale leaves us grappling with a thorny question: when do you defy family for the sake of health? The brother’s secret mission saved his sister from pain but fractured family trust. Have you ever had to choose between loyalty to family beliefs and someone’s well-being? What would you do in this heated situation? Drop your thoughts below and let’s unpack this drama!

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