AITA for bullying my cousin?

Imagine a family gathering buzzing with wedding plans, only for a spark of drama to ignite over a teenager’s bold fashion choice. In this Reddit tale, a 17-year-old and her cousins take a stand when their 15-year-old cousin, Sara, insists on wearing a wedding dress to their older cousin Nora’s big day. What starts as a plea for etiquette spirals into a calculated jab fest, leaving Sara in tears and the family divided. Was it a necessary intervention or a cruel overstep?

This story crackles with the tension of family dynamics, where loyalty, fairness, and teenage stubbornness collide. With Nora’s special day at stake, the cousins’ drastic measures stir questions about right and wrong. Let’s dive into the original post, unpack the drama with expert insight, and see how Reddit weighs in on this wedding wardrobe showdown.

ADVERTISEMENT

‘AITA for bullying my cousin?’

My(F17) older cousin(Nora,F26) is getting married. A few weeks ago we were all talking about what we are gonna wear for her wedding and one of my cousins(Sara, F15) showed us a picture of her dress. IT WAS A WEDDING DRESS. it was white, long and basically a typical wedding dress.

Everyone tried talking to her asking her to please not to wear it but she wouldn't listen. Her parents also took her side. For the next few days everyone tried to convince them to get another dress but they refused. As she is the youngest member of our family she gets away with pretty much everything so they finally gave up and decided to let her wear it but Nora was very upset.

She didn't want to make drama especially because no one was on her side anymore so me and my other cousins decided to fix this. Last night when our family gathered together we alll started talking in a way we knew Sara coud hear us and we mocked her dress and made fun of her for wearing a wedding dress at someone elses wedding.

ADVERTISEMENT

The whole time we were laughing and mocking her until she had tears in her eyes and told her parents she doesn't want to wear it anymore. She went home but texted me and told me Im an AH for doing this to her and bullying her. I kinda feel like an AH but I think I was justified so AITA?

Wedding etiquette can turn even the sweetest family into a reality show cast, and this dress drama is no exception. The OP and her cousins mocked Sara to protect Nora’s wedding, but their approach left scars. Let’s break it down with a raised eyebrow and some expert perspective.

Sara’s choice of a white, bridal-style dress was a clear faux pas, ignoring the unwritten rule that only the bride wears white. Nora’s distress and the family’s failed attempts to reason with Sara and her parents fueled the cousins’ harsh tactics. While effective, the public shaming humiliated a 15-year-old, risking long-term family tension. The broader issue is family communication: a 2023 Psychology Today article notes that 60% of family conflicts stem from unclear boundaries, especially in high-stakes events like weddings.

ADVERTISEMENT

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, writes in The Gottman Institute, “Conflict resolution starts with empathy and direct communication, not criticism.” The cousins could have involved Nora’s parents or the wedding planner to enforce dress code rules privately. For Sara, a gentle explanation of wedding norms might have worked better than mockery. Moving forward, the family should set clear expectations for events and prioritize respect, ensuring no one’s big day—or feelings—gets trampled.

See what others had to share with OP:

The Reddit crew dove into this wedding drama like guests at an open bar, serving up a mix of cheers and side-eyes. It’s like a family reunion where everyone’s got a hot take and no filter. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd:

LongNectarine3 − NTA. You saved her from huge public humiliation at the wedding. Not one of the groom’s family or any of their friends would have let that slide.. Edit: OP if your cousin Nora is reading these, big hugs from me for your patience. And thanks for the upvotes. Wow most highly voted comment I have made is about avoiding public humiliation. My parents would be so proud.

ADVERTISEMENT

ChalkButter − NTA - you tried to fix the problem with the proper route; that didn’t work so you found a custom-tailored solution.

CirclePhantasm − NTA. I think you and others clearly give warning multiple times, she and her parents didn't listen, and honestly Nora is probably do not want to cause drama by not inviting them.

Since direct approach was ineffective, you used alternate method which was (according to your own word) gossiping about ACTUAL TRUTH, one that everyone else told not to do because it's like the most well known taboo in wedding. I don't think that goes far enough to even give ESH rating.

ADVERTISEMENT

MeltedStones − NTA, this kind of behind the back talk would’ve happened for real at the actual wedding had she worn it

so_tired_now − NTA. There are clearly some family dynamics here where Nora doesn’t feel like she can stand up to Sara’s parents. Sara is old enough to know this is bad form, and if she isn’t old enough to know it, several people told her. Sara is spoiled and Nora is being told not to rock the boat on what is supposed to be her special day.

That’s disgusting family dynamics and OP recognized that injustice and saw a way to fix it. Sara was trying to be a bully by ignoring the bride’s wishes, you stopped her from doing that. Did you have to do it in an underhanded way — sure. But it seemed like the prevailing family dynamics didn’t allow for Sara to be corrected in a healthy way.

ADVERTISEMENT

Monicawroteitbetter − I was going with everybody sucks, but since you tried to reason with her and her parents, to no avail, I'll say NTA!

alv269 − NTA. You saved your other cousin from having a terrible time at her own wedding. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. Good work.

Tudorprincess1 − NTA. Sara and her parents ate AHs. Sara for wanting to wear a wedding dress knowing she’d be the center of attention and not the bride and her parents for not saying - this isn’t your day it’s Nora’s day, you’re not wearing that wedding dress, and you either wear something else or you stay home.

ADVERTISEMENT

StoreBoughtDopamine5 − NTA. Honestly if she had showed up to a wedding in a wedding-like dress people WOULD have talked about her, and it would not have been kind. She might take a while to come around on this but in 5, 10 years she'll be thankful she's not wearing white in the wedding photos.

truthseeeker − The mistake was trying to 'convince' her not to wear the dress rather than informing her that she wasn't allowed in the wedding unless she got a new dress. She shouldn't have been allowed to think she had a choice.

Redditors largely backed the OP, praising the save for Nora while noting Sara’s spoiled streak. Some called the gossip a necessary evil; others wished for a kinder fix. But do these spicy opinions capture the full story, or are they just stirring the family pot?

ADVERTISEMENT

This AITA saga shows how fast family loyalty can turn into a battlefield when etiquette and egos clash. The OP’s plan saved Nora’s wedding but left Sara hurt, highlighting the fine line between justice and cruelty. Expert advice urges empathy over shaming, while Reddit’s cheers suggest tough love sometimes wins. It’s a messy lesson in balancing fairness with kindness.

Have you ever faced a family standoff over event etiquette? Would you have stepped in like the OP or tried a softer approach? Share your thoughts and stories in the comments—what’s your take on this wedding dress drama?

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *