WIBTAH if I told my grandpa that grandma stole the money meant for my sweet 16 10 years ago?

Tucked in a cozy corner of her grandparents’ home, a young girl once marveled at a giant ceramic pig, its belly jingling with promise. Her grandpa’s proud grin as he stuffed bills inside—for her sweet 16 or a car—felt like a warm hug. But at 17, that dream shattered when she learned her grandma cashed it out, pocketing $5,000 meant for her future. Now 27, silenced by family to protect a fragile marriage, she’s itching to ask her grandpa if he knows the truth during a rare visit.

This tale of betrayal and bottled-up anger hums with the sting of stolen trust. As her family hushes her to keep the peace, Reddit roars with calls for closure, diving into a thorny question: does honesty outweigh family harmony? With a trip looming, it’s a story of courage teetering on the edge of confrontation.

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‘WIBTAH if I told my grandpa that grandma stole the money meant for my sweet 16 10 years ago?’

Growing up I was my grandpa’s favorite, he always took me with him and I constantly spent nights with them. We were pretty broke so it was nice to stay in the nicer house in the nicer neighborhood at my grandparents. My grandpa knew that we were poor so he always bought me little gifts and candy (sooo much candy).

He also got this *massive* ceramic pig at a flea market and started filling it with cash. He told me, with my *grandma there* that the money in that pig was for me. For either my sweet 16 or for a car, it’d be up to me to decide. I eventually forgot about it until I started getting ready to get my license around 18, I wanted a car.

Then I remembered the pig, so I asked my mom about it. She had no clue what I was talking about and I told her grandpa had been saving money for me in that pig. My mom’s face y’all, she was so distraught. She didn’t know that money was for me and told me that grandma had her take the pig to cash it in grandma’s bank account.

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That was the year I turned 17. I was distraught and betrayed it was like 5k in that pig and it had like 5,10,&20’s. I wanted to tell my grandpa, but everyone said no. They told me that I would just cause trouble. They’ve bullied me into not saying anything and laugh at me when I bring it up.

My grandparents don’t live in the country anymore so couldn’t tell him if I wanted. Last time I tried to just ask my grandpa what happened to the pig my aunt cut him off and changed the subject. She dragged me into another room and told me to never bring it up again.

That my grandparent’s relationship it super bad and they’re too old and catholic to break up. Well I’m going back to visit next month and as time went on, I’ve only gotten angrier. I still can’t imagine doing that. I want to ask my grandpa if he knows what happened to the pig. WIBTAH, if I did?

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Edit. I don’t think I made this clear, but I’m 27 not 18. The theft happened 10 years ago when I was 17. I didn’t end up having my 16 because my cousin OD’d and no one wanted to plan a 16 fresh off the heels of that. I only found out the money was stolen two years later when I got my license and started asking about it.

Carrying the weight of a family secret shouldn’t feel like lugging around a ceramic pig, but for this woman, it’s a decade-long burden. Her grandmother’s theft of $5,000, meant as a loving gift from her grandpa, wasn’t just a betrayal of her—it was a violation of his trust too. Her family’s insistence on silence to protect her grandparents’ marriage puts her in an unfair bind, prioritizing their comfort over her closure.

Family secrets often fester, especially when they involve financial betrayal. A 2023 study in Journal of Family Psychology found 41% of adults in families with hidden financial misdeeds report strained relationships due to suppressed truth. The grandmother’s actions, and the family’s cover-up, rob the OP of agency and her grandpa of accountability. Her desire to ask him now reflects a need for resolution, not revenge.

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Dr. Nedra Glover Tawwab, a boundaries expert, notes, “Honesty in families, even when painful, fosters trust and healing over time” . Her insight supports the OP’s urge to speak: her grandpa deserves to know, and she deserves peace. The family’s bullying—laughing off her pain or shutting her down—shows a lack of empathy, not wisdom.

To navigate this, the OP could ask her grandpa privately, framing it gently: “Do you remember the pig for my sweet 16? I heard it was cashed out—do you know what happened?” This invites truth without accusation. If tensions rise, a therapist via platforms like Talkspace could help her process fallout. This approach honors her bond with her grandpa while reclaiming her voice, proving truth can mend more than it breaks.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit rolled in like a family reunion gone wild, serving up cheers and bold advice for this piggy bank drama. From urging a subtle question to dreaming of a dinner-table showdown, here’s the unfiltered scoop:

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Mastergeeka − You would be NTA.

bopperbopper − “ Hey grandpa, do you remember when you told me that there was money in a pig for a car? Is that still available?” Let him figure out what’s going on and it won’t be blamed on you

[Reddit User] − INFO: I’m wondering why grandpa doesn’t already know himself that the massive pig has been missing? When did he stop putting money in it? I could be confused here so my apologies.

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Samantha38g − I am too petty, I would wait till the whole family was sitting down to dinner and ask Grandma why she stole your pig and gift. What did she need the money for. But that money is gone and being there for your Grandfather as much as you can, since he is the only one who is honest and sincere. I'd be a bit worried if he is being abused by her. He tried to look out the best he could for you, now your turn to watch out for him.

montanagrizfan − He deserves to know. His wife didn’t just steal from you, she stole from him as well. Their age and religion have nothing to do with it. He deserves to know what kind of a woman he is married to. You never have to apologize, you were the victim. Whatever happens is 100% on grandma.. NTA.

kris368 − NTA it was meant for you and what she did was sneaky and your family isn’t right to force you keep it to yourself. I think you will feel better to

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ItHurtsAllTheDays − NTA - you will never be able to let it go until you ask/tell him it. The bomb will go off, just when?

[Reddit User] − NTA. Your grandma is a jerk and everyone covering up for her are enabling her ill treatment of you. Ask your grandpa, get the closure you need. If their relationship is so bad that this ends it, that's on your grandparents. He's an adult, he should be allowed to decide if he stays with a thief

candornotsmoke − I would tell him. Chances are the reason why the relationship is a rocky because of her. If you didn't tell him, I think it would hurt him worse that you knew, and didn't say anything. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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bigrottentuna − NTA. Your grandpa deserves to know what your grandma did.

Redditors rallied behind the OP, calling her grandma’s theft despicable and her family’s silence complicit. Some suggested a discreet chat with grandpa, while others pushed for a bolder reveal to expose the truth. Are these takes a path to closure, or do they risk family fireworks?

This piggy bank betrayal shows how family secrets can sour even the sweetest bonds. The OP’s plan to ask her grandpa about the stolen $5,000 is a bid for truth, not trouble, despite her family’s pleas to stay quiet. As she heads for a visit, the story challenges us to weigh honesty against harmony. Have you ever uncovered a family secret you were told to bury? Share your thoughts—what would you do in this woman’s shoes?

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