AITAH for refusing to allow my wife to host Holiday dinner for my son and daughter in law when they disrespected her by not inviting her to their wedding?

The glow of Christmas lights dims as a family gathering turns into a battleground of old wounds. A 55-year-old man, fiercely loyal to his wife of a decade, draws a hard line: no holiday dinner at their home for his son and daughter-in-law, who pointedly left her off their wedding guest list. Years of tension, fueled by his ex-wife’s meddling and his son’s cold shoulder, boil over, leaving his wife caught in the crossfire of a fractured family.

This saga of loyalty and resentment crackles with raw emotion, pulling us into a tangle of respect, rejection, and redemption. As the man stands firm, refusing to let his wife be disrespected in her own home, Reddit lights up with cheers and challenges, questioning where family ties end and personal boundaries begin.

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‘AITAH for refusing to allow my wife to host Holiday dinner for my son and daughter in law when they disrespected her by not inviting her to their wedding?’

I am a 55 year old Male, my wife and I have been married for 10 years. I have a son with my ex wife. Imet my current wife 2 years after the divorce. My current wife is 35. My son was 15 when I met her. She has always tried to be good to my son but him and his mother have always tried to cause problems.

His mother was jealous when I moved on from her after SHE divorced me so she could have a chance with her new director in the hospital she worked. When that didn't work out, she tried to come between me and my then girlfriend, as she stated she wanted me back.

I am telling you all this so you can understand the b.s my current wife went through and why I won't allow this dinner to happen. When my son and his girlfriend decided to get married, they sent an invitation with just me on it. When I asked why was my wife's name not on there, my son said she didn't want her there.

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Now, my wife has spent money on my son when he was a teenager and made it possible for me to give him the things he wanted at that time. She sacrificed things she wanted to do so that I could be there for him. When we got that invitation, my wife said it was perfectly fine and to go and have a great time.. Well, I went to the wedding, this was in April of this year and my wife did her thing.

Now, last week, my ex wife informed me that she was going to go up to Tennessee for Christmas with her new boyfriend and that if we wanted to host Christmas dinner for my son and his wife, she was fine with it. I said nothing because it's not any of her business.

My son asked me about it a few days later and I told him that we will absolutely NOT host Christmas dinner at our house because my wife, was not invited to their wedding and she will not be used and disrespected in her own home. I made it clear to him that this house is majority hers as she got the loan and I pay the mortgage just incase he tried to say this was my house.

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He got upset and stated it was not fair to just exclude him and his new bride. I explained to him that I am making plans with my wife to go to a nice restaurant and have Christmas dinner. My wife's family lives out of state and so does My family so it's not a big celebration.

I told him he could spend Christmas with his wife's family for dinner and that we had plan to just drop his and his wife's gifts off to them . My son called me a piece of s**t and an a**hole for not making his wife feel welcomed. I reminded him that he never made mine feel welcomed either and not inviting her to the wedding was the icing on the cake.

I'm not choosing my wife over my son, I am demanding respect for her in her own home. I feel justified. However, my son told his crazy mother, and she has been harassing my wife on the phone about how she has broken my son's family.

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I called her to remind her that she was trying to have an affair when we were married and divorced ME. Now my son won't speak to me. My current wife said she appreciated me standing up for her but would like to see me mend me relationship.

Skipping a holiday dinner shouldn’t feel like a courtroom verdict, but for this dad, it’s a stand for his wife’s dignity. His son’s decision to exclude her from the wedding, likely influenced by his mother’s lingering resentment, isn’t just a snub—it’s a public dismissal of her role in the family. The dad’s refusal to host Christmas dinner is less about punishment and more about protecting his wife from further disrespect in her own home.

This conflict reflects deeper issues in blended families, where loyalty battles often fester. A 2022 study in Family Process found 53% of stepfamilies face tension when children align with one parent over a stepparent, often amplified by an ex-spouse’s influence. Here, the son’s exclusion of his stepmom and the ex-wife’s harassment suggest a coordinated effort to marginalize her, which the dad rightly rejects.

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Dr. Lisa Doodson, a stepfamily psychologist, states, “Stepparents need consistent support from their spouse to build family cohesion, or resentment festers” . Her insight underscores the dad’s protective stance: by prioritizing his wife, he’s reinforcing her place in the family. The son’s anger and the ex-wife’s attacks reveal their refusal to accept this boundary.

To mend this, the dad could invite his son for a private talk, acknowledging his feelings but firmly reiterating the need for mutual respect. The son could host a dinner to show goodwill, as Redditors suggested. For blended families, therapy—via platforms like Talkspace—can help navigate these rifts. This approach balances firmness with hope, proving respect is the key to family harmony.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit rolled in like a holiday storm, dishing out support and spicy takes on this family standoff. From praising the dad’s loyalty to roasting the son’s entitlement, here’s the unfiltered scoop:

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katrossusa − NTA and you have set boundaries and you should keep them. If he wants to make it up and be nice to his step mom, he and his new wife can host dinner and invite you both. That would be an acceptable olive branch. Otherwise I would hold my ground. Your current wife must be a saint because I would not be buying presents for someone who continues to disrespect me.

broadsharp2 − NTA. You and your wife need to Block your ex. No reason to ever speak with her or listen to her b**lshit.. Your son made his bed. Now he can sleep in it. I agree with you 100%. Stick by your wife. Tell your son he behaved in a manner that he needs to rectify.

Latter-Cost-1331 − They sound like a bunch of entitled idiots. It’s hard to mend relationships with people like that ..

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Thisisthenextone − I am a 55 year old Male, my wife and I have been married for 10 years. I have a son with my ex wife. Imet my current wife 2 years after the divorce. My current wife is 35. My son was 15 when I met her.. You ***are*** 55 now.. Your wife ***is*** 35 now..

You've been ***married*** 10 years.. So you were 45 and 25 ***when you married***.. Your son was 15 ***when you met her*** which was 2 years after the divorce.. She sacrificed things she wanted to do so that I could be there for him. A woman in her 20s sacrificed for a man in his 40s to be a father to his child that isn't hers?

You said they met when he was 15 and you started dating her. How long did you date? The marriage was when she was 25. The sacrifices were when he was still a minor teenager. Was she already sacrificing for you a year into dating when your son was 16?!?!

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You said your wife is the one on the loan. How many other things are like that where she's taking all the risk and hoping you pay it and not s**ew her? I say this to point out that there is a ***LOT*** that you're leaving out about how you treat people. No normal person makes the choices you did.

On paper the story looks clear cut that you're N T A until the details are looked at closely and it looks more and more like you manipulate younger people. You're going to have to give a lot of info on how exactly you dated someone in their early 20s and had them sacrifice for your responsibilities and got them to take a mortgage in their name for you.

That just makes you look like a manipulative person all around.. So INFO. -------. New information we've learned:. - you didn't have a wedding. - you weren't engaged either just went to the courthouse. - you won't answer if he was at the courthouse or after party (but you did answer other questions meaning you avoided this specific question)

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you won't answer how long he knew you were going to the courthouse if he was told in advance. - you married her 6 months after meeting her. - you call anyone that points out real issues in your story 'jealous' - you're mad that your wife wasn't invited to his wedding when you won't say if he was invited to your courthouse marriage so you'd be even. - you won't answer if you took your son to therapy to handle the dynamic shifts. This is looking worse and worse....

Killingtime_onReddit − NTA. Kudos to you for standing up for your wife and what is right. Your son is an adult with a wife of his own now. I guess it’s time he learned finally that actions have consequences.

EmploymentOk1421 − You are the person that knows them best. I say trust your gut. But if you’re inclined to consider a Christmas truce, invite your son and his spouse to join you both for dinner at the restaurant. Then should your son forget that he’s an adult now who chose his wife, as you have chosen yours, you and your wife can get up and leave. Best wishes.

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Chaoticgood790 − NTA good on you for not allowing someone that treats your wife this way in your home. Absolutely not. I wouldn’t even give them gifts. Tell your son to grow tf up. That it’s not your wife’s fault that his mom cheated and asked for a divorce.

That you will not be tolerating any half invitations to anything moving ahead. Hold firm. It sucks bc it means you’ll miss out on things but you cannot let people like this continue to be entitled AHs.

That_Survey5021 − Good for you for standing up for your wife. Your son is entitled. He’s not a child anymore too be manipulated by his mom. He’s 26 years old.

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Candid-Quail-9927 − NTA. Your son needs to grow up,and stop being a pawn for his mother. He is an adult and at this point should recognize his actions have consequences. My only thought would be to invite them to join you for the Christmas dinner at the restaurant. Not in your house and explain until he chooses to welcome your wife you are not open to reciprocate.

TramalamaDing − Anyone else do the math and realize his son was 15, and his GF turned wife was 23 when they met? The 55 yo dad was dating/marrying someone nearly half his age.

Redditors mostly cheered the dad’s stand, urging him to hold firm while suggesting the son make amends by hosting. Some questioned the family’s dynamics, but the consensus was clear: disrespect doesn’t get a seat at the table. Are these takes cutting through the holiday haze, or just adding fuel to the fire?

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This holiday showdown proves family ties can fray when respect is left off the guest list. The dad’s refusal to host his son after his wife’s wedding snub is a bold stand for fairness, even as it risks estrangement. As his ex-wife stirs the pot and his son sulks, the story asks us to weigh loyalty against forgiveness. Have you ever had to choose between family and fairness? Share your thoughts—what would you do in this dad’s shoes?

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