AITA for uninviting my friend from a trip?

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Imagine a rustic cabin, crackling fire, and a weekend of beers and banter with friends. That’s the escape one Redditor planned—until a friend’s babysitter bailed, threatening to turn the adult getaway into a kid’s adventure. The host’s choice to uninvite her sparked drama.

This Reddit AITA tale dives into the messy clash of friendship and boundaries. Was the host harsh for guarding their party plans, or was the friend wrong to expect a total pivot? Let’s unpack the chaos.

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‘AITA for uninviting my friend from a trip?’

So this coming weekend a group of friends and I are going to go stay at my family cabin. We're all in our late 20s/early 30s. Two friends have kids 'Chad' and 'Rebecca'. Not together though. Chad wasn't a big deal because it's not his weekend they're with their mom. Rebecca said her sister would watch her son.

Rebecca called me this morning and said something came up and her sister can't do it. I said 'that sucks, do you have a backup sitter?' She said no, she figured she'd just bring him along.. I said 'uh, this isn't really a kid friendly weekend. We're going to be drinking and stuff'.

She said 'well, why do you HAVE to drink. It can just be a fun getaway and that way he can come'.. I said 'no, Chads not bringing his kids along.'. She said 'well then he should bring them. They can all hangout together '. I said 'no. This isn't a kid trip. Most of us don't have kids and I don't want kids there.'.

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She said 'so what now I can't come?'. I said ' if you find a sitter you're welcome to come'. She said 'that's really great. Being uninvited because I'm a parent. One day everyone else will have kids too. Then what will you do?'. I said 'hangout alone I guess?'. She hung up on me.

My problem isn't even the kid. It's that Rebecca always changes EVERYTHING for her son. So I know it'd become a dry (no alcohol) trip, and everything would get changed around for him. Shorter hikes, less time fishing, Saturday were going to the bar to watch college football and we wouldn't be able to do that with him there.

We went to a festival this summer, she brought her son and everything was what he wanted to do. When we suggested splitting up and meeting later, so some of us could watch some bands and whatever she got all pissed. Well another friend called me an hour later and asked if I really uninvited Rebecca.

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I explained my side and she said 'that wasn't nice, things happen and friends compromise'. I said 'yea to a point but not change the whole trip.' She said she just feels bad because Rebecca will be stuck here while were all having fun.

That I should be a good friend and let her come, not leave her out because stuff came up'. I said 'no one is forcing you to come, you can stay and hangout with her if you want'. She told me to stop being an ass.. AITA for uninviting someone because they're sitter fell through.

This cabin drama highlights a friendship stretched thin by differing priorities. The host craved an adult-only retreat, while Rebecca assumed her son could join, derailing plans. Both have valid emotions—Rebecca’s navigating parenting chaos, the host protecting a rare break.

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Parenting reshapes friendships, often creating tension. A 2023 Pew Research Center study found 46% of parents feel judged by childless friends, while non-parents resist constant accommodation. Rebecca’s push to include her son reflects this divide, clashing with the host’s boundary.

Dr. Irene S. Levine, a friendship expert, says, “Friendships evolve when life circumstances change, like becoming a parent. Clear communication about expectations is key to avoiding resentment.” The host’s blunt stance wasn’t a rejection of Rebecca, just her son’s presence.

Empathy could help. The host might plan a kid-friendly outing later; Rebecca could respect the group’s vibe.

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Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit didn’t hold back, serving up spicy takes with a dash of humor. Here’s what the community had to say:

DeeJo49 − NTA. It's YOUR FAMILY CABIN FOR YOUR GOOD TIME!. Rebecca's not a good friend and sounds like a pain in the ass. She had the child, not you.. Your other friends going would probably applaud you!. And, who cares what the other friend thinks.. Have fun! Isn't that the point?

1llm1n4ti − NTA. Your cabin, your rules. Rebecca does not have to drink if she doesn’t want to but she can’t just bring anyone that’s not invited, not even her son. Finding a babysitter is the parent’s responsibility.

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Smashingistrashing − NTA. Having children means you sometimes don’t get to do adult things like partying at a cabin if you don’t have a sitter. Does it suck for her and did it hurt her feelings? Probably. But her having a kid shouldn’t change a whole weekend’s plans. She sounds like she’s having a hard time adjusting to the life she chose.. Edit: word

km4098 − NTA. Kids don’t need to go to every event. I’d wager she never had even asked her sister to babysit and assumed you’d change plans so she could bring him

Livvylove − NTA, I even wonder if she even had originally set up having her sister babysit. She probably figured she could bring him like she did for the festival and everyone would just go along, especially with her trying to do it last minute.. Did she pull the same thing last minute before?

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kek2015 − NTA. She already ruined one of your other trips by changing everything for her child. Don't let her ruin another one.

Suspicious_Cat4200 − NTA. It's not a kid friendly trip. I don't get the entitlement some people have. I have a 12 yr old son, I would never push for him to come along if I KNEW it wasn't kid friendly. I would stay home or find a sitter. Forcing a group of friends to change their plans around is not cool. I think you did the right thing, maybe if this was the first time this happened it would be different.

therandomjew − NTA. Rebecca needs to respecca some boundaries. Hope you have fun on your trip!

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Old-Strategy-672 − NTA. By the sounds of it this trip was always planned to be a drinking and adult trip. S**t happens but it doesn't give Rebecca the right to change the plans for the whole trip. Besides giving that it is your family cabin. It is your responsibility on who is there, what happens there and such.

Having an unplanned child there makes things way to much of a pain and legal liabilty if he does something stupid in the cabin. That or the others do something stupid around the kid in the cabin if they decide to come back drunk after a fun bar trip. You didn't even fully uninvite her. Just that this trip was based on that everyone is going there to do adult stuff. So a child just cant go on it.

I just suggest talking to your friend group and saying how you guys had plans and don't want them to suddenly change so radiacally. How that Rebecca is fine to come so long as not with the son due to the adult plans. Ask how they feel and just stick to your guns on how you feel. Don't make it a you have to choose situation. Just an honest talk bout how you want to keep to plans.

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zestydrink_b − NTA. Even if your problem isn't with the kid, you're not obligated to change your plans around the kid.

These Reddit opinions scream “your cabin, your rules,” but do they miss the nuance? Or just love the drama?

This cabin saga shows how fast friendships can fray when life stages clash. The host held firm for a kid-free vibe, but hurt feelings followed. Rebecca’s push wasn’t evil, just tone-deaf. Could a calmer chat have saved the day? What would you do—stick to your plans or bend for a friend? Hit the comments with your thoughts!

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