AITAH for telling my sister that I’m not the golden child, and I got to go to our dream college because I’m smarter than her?
Family dynamics can be both a source of lifelong support and a breeding ground for bitter resentment. In this story, a college admissions journey becomes a flashpoint for long-standing sibling rivalry and parental favoritism. Two sisters, Cara and the narrator, both dreamed of attending their parents’ alma mater—a prestigious, small private school in the Chicago area.
While Cara’s path was marred by her lower test scores and a dismissive attitude toward extracurriculars, the narrator’s hard work and involvement opened doors—complete with scholarship offers that left Cara without financial aid. These differences have festered into an ongoing conflict, with accusations of favoritism and unfair treatment simmering for years.
Now, after seven long years of unspoken tension, the narrator reaches a breaking point. When Cara repeatedly claims that the narrator’s success is undeserved and a product of parental intervention, the accumulated frustration erupts into a confrontation that has left their entire family reeling.
‘AITAH for telling my sister that I’m not the golden child, and I got to go to our dream college because I’m smarter than her?’
Family therapist Dr. Emily Rivera notes,
“Sibling rivalry often intensifies when academic achievements and parental support intersect with longstanding feelings of neglect or favoritism. In cases like this, both siblings are hurt—even if one appears to have the upper hand academically. It’s not uncommon for one sibling’s success to be interpreted as a slight against the other, particularly when parents’ actions seem to validate that perception.”(Dr. Rivera on Family Dynamics)
Dr. Rivera explains that the issue isn’t solely about college admissions—it’s about the deeper dynamics of comparison and validation. The narrator’s success, bolstered by scholarships and the taste of independence, becomes a lightning rod for Cara’s unresolved insecurities and feelings of being perpetually second best. “When one sibling is consistently treated as the ‘golden child,’ the other can feel marginalized, even when their own achievements are impressive on their own merit,” she adds.
She further emphasizes that the long-term fallout from such dynamics may manifest in hurtful accusations and emotional distancing, as seen in the narrator’s explosive reaction. According to Dr. Rivera, a healthy resolution might involve family counseling where both parties can express their feelings in a controlled environment and work towards understanding rather than blame. “Only when the entire family acknowledges their part in these dynamics can true healing begin,” she concludes.
Check out how the community responded:
The majority of commenters agree that the narrator’s accomplishments are well-earned and that she is not at fault. They point out that while both siblings applied to the same college, the narrator’s stronger extracurricular profile and higher test scores justified her scholarship awards, whereas Cara’s choices and parental treatment contributed to her setbacks.
Many feel that the recurring claims of favoritism are more about Cara’s inability to move past her own disappointments than any real injustice on the narrator’s part. Overall, the community widely supports the narrator’s stance, with several urging the family to confront and address these long-standing issues directly rather than forcing an apology.
In the tangled web of sibling rivalry and perceived parental favoritism, the struggle to define personal success amid family expectations is all too real. The narrator’s confrontation with years of resentment forces us to ask: When achievements become a source of familial conflict, how can we truly celebrate success without deepening old wounds? Is there a way to bridge the gap between hard-earned accomplishments and the emotional scars left by favoritism?
We’d love to hear from you: Have you ever faced similar challenges within your family? What steps can be taken to heal such deep-seated wounds, and is reconciliation truly possible when favoritism has defined relationships for so long? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.
