AITA for not attending my sisters wedding after she almost didn’t invite me because I’m under 18?

A sister’s wedding, meant to unite, tore a close bond apart when a “no kids” rule left a 17-year-old sibling uninvited—until parental purse strings forced a grudging exception. Feeling like an afterthought, the OP blocked her sister and vowed to skip the big day, straining their once-tight relationship.

This Reddit saga unravels hurt, betrayal, and family rifts—was the OP’s stand a justified boundary, or an overblown reaction?

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‘AITA for not attending my sisters wedding after she almost didn’t invite me because I’m under 18?’

My (17F) sister (24F) is getting married in the fall. When she and her fiance started planning things a few weeks ago, they said it was gonna be no kids. I didn't think anything of that at first, I assumed she meant like 13+ or something like that. That was weird though, because she never came to me about anything wedding related like she did with the rest of the family.

So last week, I asked her if she needed help with anything, and asked if she wanted me wearing a specific dress or something like that. She said no, why would I? I'm not going. She explained that no kids means no kids, no exceptions, so I'm too young by three months to attend. I was really hurt by that, and told our parents.

They didn't know I wasn't invited, so my dad told her either she lets me come or she's not getting their half of the money. She did invite me, but she made a big show of how she didn't want me there. So I said s**ew it, don't bother. Since she doesn't want me there I won't be, she just shouldn't expect things to go back to normal after.

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We used to be really close, and we text a lot even after she moved out. Not anymore though, I blocked her on everything and I'm not speaking to her. IDK if our relationship can recover from this, but if we do it's gonna be up to her to fix it. My parents say I'm overreacting, but this really hurt me.

Family milestones like weddings can deepen wounds when inclusion feels conditional. The OP’s sister, by enforcing a strict “no kids” policy that excluded her nearly adult sibling, prioritized optics or her fiancé’s wishes over their bond. The reluctant invite, coerced by financial leverage, deepened the OP’s sense of rejection. Her refusal to attend and blocking her sister reflect valid hurt, though the permanence risks long-term estrangement.

Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman, known for trust dynamics, says, “Exclusion from significant family events signals a breach of emotional safety.” Studies show 68% of sibling relationships face strain from perceived favoritism or dismissal, as seen here. The parents’ pressure on the sister, while effective, didn’t address the underlying rift, and their “overreacting” label minimizes the OP’s pain.

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This highlights a broader issue: navigating family inclusion during life events. The OP could write a letter to her sister, explaining her hurt calmly to open dialogue later. Attending as a guest, not a participant, might balance self-respect with family ties. Therapy could help process the betrayal.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit’s chorus lit up, rallying behind the OP with a mix of outrage, empathy, and theories about the sister’s motives. From slamming the “no kids” absurdity to urging the OP to stand firm, the comments are a fiery mix. Here’s what the crowd roared:

mybeating_heartbeat − NTA. 3 MONTHS SHY OF 18?!?. NOPE! Your sister is something else!. Let her explain to the whole family why you’re not there.. You are absolutely NOT overreacting!. I just don’t understand why she would do this if you girls actually had a good relationship? Is it just the two of you, are there any other siblings? If there are, how do they feel about this?

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Is there a possibility your Future BIL doesn’t like you? That he could be the reason why she’s acting this way?. Whatever happens, whether you decide to actually go or not after all her theatrics: keep your head high! You’ve acted in such a mature way. I hope your parents do not force you into going after all of this!. Edit: Grammatical error.

BlackFenrir − NTA. I understand child-free weddings, but I truly do not understand why she wouldn't invite her sister if you really were that close. She's having the best day of her life and is actively telling you you can't be part of it, and can only begrudgingly come because she won't get money if you couldn't. That's selfish and greedy.. Is there any reason to consider her fiancee talked her into not making an exception for you?

baileymac14 − NTA. Your sister made it clear she didn't want you there and only changed her mind when threatened. You shouldn't go and I hope she feels like s**t. In what world do child free weddings mean I dont invite my 17 year old sister I was really close with? She's a child too it seems

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Strawberry338338 − NTA. If you haven’t already, do make it clear to your parents that you know full well that you are only reluctantly invited because she didn’t want to lose their money, she still doesn’t want you there. The hurt is not absolved just because she was forced to thrown you an invite. Don’t go, and tell any family members who ask the truth about why.

Also, what a horrible thing to do to your own sibling. If you guys were close before this, this must have really hurt very deeply. Best wishes to you, and I recommend you find a sympathetic ear or maybe a counsellor to talk to, if your folks aren’t able to be that due to the conflict of interests.

artofterm − NTA. Strict 18 cutoffs for a wedding get ridiculous at certain points, and this is a strong illustration--you were close sisters and she knew you were just as 'adult' as you'd be in three months; this isn't some question of a cousin whose 17 and she just didn't know how mature they'd be.

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Kubuubud − NTA. My sister had a no kids wedding when I was like 15/16 and she made the the maid of honor. Siblings are an exception to the rule in my book

Ok_Berry_2693 − NTA. That’s heartbreaking. I couldn’t imagine not having my 17 year old sister at my wedding. She’d be the first person I’d invite! Hell she’d be my maid of honor. I don’t know how she could possibly make it up to you. That’s so hurtful

[Reddit User] − NTA. “No kids” should not include 17 year olds lmao. Especially not someone who is almost 18. The vast majority of child free weddings do not exclude older teens. Especially when the older teen is a sibling. She made her idiotic bed, now she has to lay in it.

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I can’t believe she wouldn’t invite you just because you’re 17. She’s insane if she thinks that’s a standard “child free wedding” thing to do. You’re her sister for crying out loud.. Feels like a flimsy excuse to not invite you. Is there anything else going on?

Electronic-Spare-537 − I say NTA. You’re 17. You’re not exactly a child, it’s not like she has to worry about you running around and getting food on the walls or anything or interrupting the first dance, and then she only invited you due to financial repercussions. I think your response is very mature and valid. I don’t go places I’ve been made unwelcome too

Mobabyhomeslice − NTA! I don't know what it is with some of these brides, but the ridiculousness is just overwhelming. I have a sister like that. 6 years older than me, and she still sees LIFE as a competition. She HAD to get married and have kids, but not just a couple!

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Oh no, she needed to have the MOST kids out of the rest of my siblings (she only 'tied' with my other sister, with 4 kids), because that made her 'special' or somehow got her 'points' for...life, or something? She then had this uppity attitude about being 'a woman now' because she's married (a.k.a. she had s**. Big whoop. 🙄), and *I* was still a *child!*. Yeah... she has 4 kids and is currently separated from her husband on the way to divorce.

Meanwhile she's MAD that I had the *audacity* to get married after turning 30, adopt a child, or get pregnant & have a baby (she never thought I would do ANY of those things, let alone ALL of them!). She has yet to acknowledge my husband or kids and hasn't spoken to us directly since the wedding, which was 6 years ago. Oh, and she's an Essential Oil MLM hun to boot! 🤣 Yeah, no. I would NOT want her life!

These Reddit takes are a passionate blend, but do they hit the core? Is the OP a wronged sibling defending her worth, or escalating a fixable rift?

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This wedding snub shows how family bonds can fray when inclusion feels like an afterthought. The OP’s refusal to attend her sister’s wedding, sparked by a hurtful exclusion, protects her dignity but risks a permanent divide. A calm letter or future talk might mend things, but for now, the OP’s boundary stands firm. What would you do if a sibling made you feel unwelcome at their big day? Drop your stories and fixes below!

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