AITA for walking out of my Birthday dinner after my sister and her boyfriend announced they were getting married?

A Sweet 16 dinner sparkles with family warmth until a 16-year-old’s older sister drops a bombshell: an engagement announcement disguised as a birthday “gift” asking her to be Maid of Honor. The room erupts in wedding talk, eclipsing the birthday girl’s moment. Hurt and sidelined, she slips out to a park, later rejecting the MOH role, igniting a firestorm with her mother and sister, who brand her a brat. Her dad, her steadfast ally, defends her, but the family rift deepens.

This isn’t just about a birthday—it’s a clash of respect, family roles, and stolen moments. Her walkout was raw, but was it warranted? Readers are hooked: did she rightly reclaim her day, or should she have stayed for family harmony? The milestone drama demands a verdict.

‘AITA for walking out of my Birthday dinner after my sister and her boyfriend announced they were getting married?’

This teen shared her birthday betrayal on Reddit, detailing her sister’s spotlight-stealing move and the family’s divided reactions. Here’s her original post and update, unpacking the emotional upheaval.

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This was a couple weeks ago but I still think about it . I 16F had my sweet 16th a couple weeks ago , nothing too crazy and that but my parents and my extended family all came over and we went out to a nice restaurant that my parents had booked. A lot of my family , cousins and nieces and nephews were there so it was a lot of people.

After we ate dinner and it was time to blow out my candles my mom insisted I open some of my presents so I don’t have to carry them home.my aunties , uncles and grandparents gave me my presents , after opening their present and saying thank you and that , My older sister and her boyfriend gave me their present.

Inside their box they gave me was a “Will you be my Maid of honour? “card on top of the present , I obviously confused looked at them with a weird expression on my face, my mum came over to look in the box as well and she loudly said “You’re getting engaged“

My sister squealed with excitement and told us all about her proposal and how they’re already wedding planning , she said it was the perfect time to announce their engagement since all our family was here.

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When my sister asked if I was going to say yes I just nodded and excused my self to the bathroom. No I didn’t go to the bathroom I ended up walking out and went to a nearby park , a couple hours pass by and my dad pulled over on the curb and told me to get in with him.

I expected him to yell at me but he ended up taking me out for ice cream and we sat at the lake and just talked, when I got home I saw my cake on the counter and my mum got up and started yelling at me about how I wasted money, wasted my families time.

My sister and her bf came out and told me how mean I am for doing that to them, my sister ended up saying that my birthday wasn’t as important as her wedding and my mother agreed. My dad told my sister and her bf to get out and ended up talking to my mom about how they could have checked with me beforehand instead of announcing it. So AITA?.

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The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

Milestone celebrations like a Sweet 16 are sacred, but this sister’s engagement announcement turned one into her personal stage. By framing it as a “gift” to her 16-year-old sister, she not only hijacked the event but placed an unfair burden on a teen to shoulder MOH duties. The girl’s walkout and refusal of the role were cries for respect, met with her mother’s and sister’s accusations of cruelty, revealing a troubling family dynamic. Her dad’s support and the grandparents’ intervention highlight the split.

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This reflects issues of entitlement in family events. A 2023 study in Family Relations found that overriding a child’s milestone event with adult agendas often fosters resentment and erodes trust, especially when parents prioritize one sibling. The mother’s claim that a wedding trumps a birthday dismisses the teen’s developmental need for recognition.

Family therapist Dr. John Townsend says, “Children’s milestones deserve protection; hijacking them signals disrespect that lingers”. His insight validates the girl’s reaction, though discussing her feelings with her sister before walking out might have clarified intentions. The sister’s refusal to apologize and the mother’s alignment with her suggest a pattern of favoritism.

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The teen could benefit from ongoing support from her dad and grandparents to navigate this toxicity. The sister and mother need to reflect on their dismissal of her feelings.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit dove into this birthday drama with takes as bold as a runaway teen. Here’s a roundup of their thoughts, sprinkled with humor—because even family feuds need a chuckle.

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QueenPotatoTomato − NTA, they hijacked your celebration and made it about them. If they wanted to announce it with everyone present, they should've done to right thing and asked you first. Absolutely classless.

Reaverbait − Anyone else suspect the mother knew? Especially with her getting OP to open the gifts then and there.... NTA, it sucks when 'milestone' birthdays come second fiddle to other people's egos.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Your sister hijacked your birthday on purpose to make it about her. Good on your dad for standing with you and defending you as well.

jwjnthrowawaykfeiofj − NTA It's extremely entitled, and selfish to think that as someone else has gathered the family already it's the perfect time to announce your news. No. It isn't. The family is gathered precisely to celebrate someone else's life event. You don't hijack that for yourself.

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Birthdaysworstdays − NTA. Mom was in on it. I suspect golden child syndrome. Walking out on your birthday party might sound drastic but I bet this is an accumulation of many events where your sister hijacker’s your spotlight.

Amsen09 − NTA. Tell your sister she's so entitled and classless. Can't wrapped my head around — A full grown Adult highjackjng A Minor's special celebration?... What an attention seeking AH!.Both her and her Husband. So was your mother. ( I bet she knew what was going to happen that's why she fully supported your AH of a sister. ).

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Your Dad got the brownie points cause he's got your back. It would pretty funny though, if you read this out loud to your Sister, BIL & Mother and how we all see them as an entitled, selfish AH.

fallingfaster345 − NTA. Family was there to celebrate you. Sister could’ve had an engagement party at a later date and shouldn’t have announced it at your birthday. They didn’t even tell you first.

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And the “wedding birthday” logic doesn’t even make sense: this wasn’t a wedding, it was an engagement announcement. And your birthday party engagement announcement. Glad your dad can help your mom see reason.

solo_throwaway254247 − Your sister, her now fiance and your mum are the a-holes here. Prepare for this to get worse. Your sister has the makings of a bridezilla and as her MOH, you're gonna be in the line of fire.

Edit: In what universe is being asked to be the MOH considered a gift? That was so tacky of her. Check out wedding shaming subreddit for a glimpse of what you might have to put up with.. Edit 2: Happy belated 16th birthday. I'm sorry your sister ruined your celebration.. You and your dad are NTA.

DancinginHyrule − NTA. That is so rude an entitlted. Ask her how she would feel if you used your MoH speech to announce you got accepted to your dream university?

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Surely your entire future is more important than only silly wedding, so that should be fine, right? Honestly, she will never get it because her head is too far up her ass but the idea of revenge can be fun to entertain for a bit.. Also, props on your dad, stick to him.

Heraonolympia123 − Info out of being nosey; did they get you an actual birthday gift or was your presence in their wedding the gift they gave you? You are NTA for being hurt. And your mom saying a wedding is more important than their child’s birthday is mean.

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These Reddit quips are fiery, but do they blow out the candles on the truth? Was the teen’s walkout a justified stand, or a moment to rethink?

This teen’s Sweet 16 saga is a poignant clash of youth, entitlement, and family loyalty. Her walkout after her sister’s engagement hijack, backed by Reddit and her dad, was a stand for her stolen moment, yet her mother’s and sister’s harsh words cast her as the villain. As she stays with her grandparents, pondering her sister’s wedding, one question looms: can this family mend? What would you do when your day is overshadowed? Share your stories and weigh in on this heartfelt showdown!

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The author has updated the information for this article below:

UPDATE !!!. (Sorry about the confusion on where it was). I am grateful for all the comments and your opinions and I showed my dad all of the comments and what people wrote. He says yous are all hilarious and appreciates you all ! ( he was laughing at all the stuff I should do at the wedding ).

My dad and I sat my mom and sister down just so I could explain to her that I won’t be her MOH as it’s a big responsibility and that it should be in the hands of an adult instead of a 16 year old.

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Although she tried to convince me further I still said no , she starts growling me saying I was ruining her wedding and that her and her fiancé went out of their way to buy me a gift which was her proposal box to me.

Unfortunately my mom and sister started telling me how cruel it was to ruin a wedding and that it’s not about me it’s about the bride , my dad ended up arguing with my mom about how it isn’t cruel and no 16 year old should have to plan and help organise a wedding as that is what MOHs do and it would be to stressful and should go to an adult instead.

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My mom started arguing with him about how it’s not my day as I already had mine , and I should go forward with my sisters plan as it’s about her and not me. My dad brought the birthday up and argued with my mom and my sister that , she ruined my birthday and if she didn’t try make it all about herself we wouldn’t be arguing.

I don’t want to go into too much detail of what went down but basically my sister started crying and my mom called be a brat and a disgrace and how I’ve officially ruined my bitchy sisters wedding.

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Im now staying at my grandparents house until things cool down at home (I don’t think they will tbh) since my mom tells me any chance she gets that im a brat and a horrible sister for not helping my big sister out for her special day. My dad is with my mom trying to sort her out and my other grandparents ( my moms parents ) are talking with her as my dad told them what happened.

I’m not going to be her Maid of honour nor her bridesmaid since she’s a d**k . I’m not sure if I’ll even go to her wedding , I’ll have to just see what my dad thinks about it. My grandparents (my dads parents who I’m staying with atm)

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Are talking to my dad about considering divorcing or taking a break from my mom as she and my sister are creating a toxic environment for him and I to live in , and that after all these years they see no reason for him to live with such a woman. I don’t really know what to think about it and I feel kind of lost but I thought I’d update y’all.

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