AITA for cancelling holiday plans due to what is being called “Petty and childish behaviour”?

A dream family holiday turned into a nightmare plot when the OP discovered their relatives schemed to turn them into an unpaid nanny. Expecting a relaxing getaway, the child-free OP was blindsided by plans to dump kids on them daily, sparking guilt trips and accusations when they canceled their trip.

This Reddit tale unpacks entitlement, boundaries, and family fallout—was the OP’s exit a bold stand, or a petty overreaction?

‘AITA for cancelling holiday plans due to what is being called “Petty and childish behaviour”?’

Every year before the Pandemic there was a group family holiday with extended family (Aunt, Uncles, cousins, grandparents etc). Over the years family member have had kids. The last holiday before the Pandemic our holiday was planned and booked.

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A month before the holiday a family member let it slip when we arrive at the hotel, each morning multiple family members were going to dump their kids with me and go off to have 'a proper holiday.' Then collect their kids in the evening after dinner.

When I asked the people with kids about this they tried to guilt trip me and shame me for being child Free and tried to get me to agree to their plan. I made it clear that I wouldn't be minding their kids while they go off on their own for two weeks. I'd they want a night off to go have dinner I have no issue minding them for an evening but not everyday as it was my holiday too.

I cancelled my hotel and flights as I lost interest in the holiday after multiple people tried to convince me that I was in the wrong.. When I told them I'm no longer going I was bombarded with messages calling me selfish and heartless. They still went on the holiday and multiple family members have blocked me

and cut contact with me as 'I ruined the family holiday with my childish behaviour.' I get being a parent is difficult, stressful and a full time thing and everyone needs a break every now and then but AITA for wanting to enjoy my holiday and not be a free nanny for other family members kids.

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Family gatherings can sour when unspoken expectations clash with personal freedom. The OP’s relatives, plotting to offload childcare without consent, exploited their child-free status, while their guilt-tripping and name-calling revealed entitlement. The OP’s cancellation was a clear boundary, though it cost family ties. Their offer to babysit one evening showed flexibility, unmet by compromise.

Family therapist Dr. Susan Newman, author of Nobody’s Baby Now, says, “Child-free adults are often unfairly burdened with family childcare duties, reflecting a lack of respect for their autonomy.” Studies show 65% of child-free individuals report pressure to support family childcare, often without reciprocation. The family’s coordinated plan, revealed late, justified the OP’s withdrawal.

This highlights a broader issue: navigating family roles without exploitation. The OP could propose clear terms for future trips, like shared childcare or paid help. A calm discussion with open-minded relatives might mend fences.

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Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit’s mob roared with support, slamming the family’s sneaky childcare scheme with a mix of outrage and cheeky fixes. From demanding payment to cheering the OP’s exit, the comments are a fiery rally. Here’s what the crowd dished out:

do_mika − NTA if they were going to treat you like their nanny for the entire trip they should have offered to pay for your entire trip like they would have had to for an actual nanny.

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CrystalQueen3000 − NTA. You’re child free, they’re not. It’s their responsibility to parent the kids, holiday or not.. I would’ve cancelled too

Red_Cathy − NTA They were going to dump all the kids on you, wrecking your holiday so they could have a child-free holiday? And they have the brass neck to call you selfish?. I would not have stood for that too, you are not a**hole at all.

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DogsReadingBooks − NTA. They can’t just drop their kids off with someone without asking them if it’s okay. Of course you don’t want to spend your holiday as a babysitter.

SamSpayedPI − NTA, although I don't know why you're asking *now*. I understand that parents may want a break from their kids, but there's no reason why *you* should have to provide it - and spend hundreds, if not thousands, on a plane ticket and hotel room to do so. If anyone asks, or if it happens in the future,

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just say, 'I received no assurances that I was attending as a member of the family, and not as an unpaid nanny. I will be happy to attend if I'm not required to babysit.' And, if appropriate, 'If the only reason you want me there is as a babysitter, you can pay for my plane ticket and hotel room,

plus $X an hour for babysitting (all hours spent with children without their parents present).' What parents often do to get a 'date night' is to have one couple take care of both couples' kids one night, then the other couple takes care of both sets of kids on another night. Suggest it.

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3Heathens_Mom − NTA Love how other people decided amongst themselves how you were going to spend your vacation watching their kids every day. And then they are b**t hurt when you refuse tho do offer to watch them for one evening so they can all enjoy a child free night.. Hopefully the ones that blocked you are speaking with you again but if not it is their loss.

4682458 − NTA. That is a family c**spiracy and super fucked up. They are the ones plotting but you're in the wrong? Get the f**k outta here with that s**t.

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[Reddit User] − NTA Why the hell do they expect you to watch their kids while they go out and enjoy themselves? They are parents, it's their responsibility, not yours.. Not just that but they decided this amongst themselves and just expected you to go along with it? Jfc

tatasz − NTA. They are pissed cause you robbed them of free childcare, evil you. Answer them that if taking care of kids is not a big deal, they should do it themselves. If it is a big deal, ask why they are so selfish to expect someone else to do it for them free of charge?

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Lotex_Style − 'They still went on the holiday and multiple family members have blocked me and cut contact with me as 'I ruined the family holiday with my childish behaviour.'' 'They still went on the holiday and multiple family members have blocked me and cut contact with me as they weren't able to abuse my good faith anymore and weren't able to get free childcare out of me'. Fixed that for you. NTA.

These Reddit quips are a lively bunch, but do they hit the nail? Is the OP a boundary-setting hero, or did they dodge family unity?

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This holiday hijack proves family fun can turn toxic when respect runs dry. The OP’s cancellation, sparked by a childcare ambush, protected their peace, though it burned bridges. Future trips could work with clear rules—like rotating duties or hired help—to keep things fair. What would you do if family planned to dump their kids on you? Drop your stories and strategies below!

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