AITA for threatening to evict my SM and SS?

Jonathan Hours
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A quiet home erupts when a teen discovers her dad’s plan to hand her bedroom to her stepsister. As co-owner of the house, inherited from her late mom, she’s furious he didn’t ask, especially since her cat’s sanctuary and future visits are at stake. Security cameras and an eviction threat later, family ties strain.

This Reddit AITA post unravels a fiery clash over property and respect. Readers dive in, debating if her bold stand was justified or a step too far.

‘AITA for threatening to evict my SM and SS?’

so my (18f) dad (45m) and i have lived together since my mom passed away 7 years ago. they bought a house together and after she passed, i inherited her half of the house. next year i'm moving out for college and my dad's fiance (39), her daughter (14), and their dog (2m) are moving in.

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Our house has three floors, my room's on the second floor, i chose it specifically because it has many windows and i like light. i was also able to make it so that not only it could become my safe haven but my cat's (6f) as well.

the third floor has an independent bathroom, is separated into a room with only one window, and another one that could work as a sort of game room or office with a little nook on the side that we padded. i assumed that my stepsister would be moving there since it's bigger, she would have her own bathroom, and that nook is perfect for their dog, who like small places much more than my cat.

when i was packing up my things to start the move, my dad started bringing boxes in. i asked what they were and he said they were my SS's things, that he was putting them there for when she moved into my room. i tried to keep as calm as possible, asking him why he didn't consult me about this since it was MY room, and if it wouldn't be better for her to stay in the other room.

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He said he didn't talk to me because it was HIS house and i'd be leaving anyway. so i reminded him that i was in fact co-owner of the house, that i'd still be coming back, and that this room is my cat's safe haven, who would have to stay here since i can't have her at the dorms, and i didn't want to disrupt her even more than she already would be with a dog in the house (she doesn't like dogs).

My dad scoffed and said if i wanted to pull that card i should have been paying bills and i completely blew up. i told him that while i didn't pay bills, i cleaned, cooked, and did laundry on my own for five years while working a 60h week for school so i could get a full ride scolarship (which i did). i told him that without me, this house wouldn't even be livable, and he can't just dismiss that.

he said none of that matters now since i'd be moving away so i did something that i'm not sure i should have done. i went out the next day and used some money i had saved up to buy security cameras, installed them in my room, then went to my dad.

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I showed him the live feed and said that SS would not be moving into my room, and my room wouldn't be disturbed, or i'd evict my SM and SS. legally i can't evict him, but i can evict them. if my cameras are removed, they get evicted. if they do not comply, they get evicted.. my dad was fuming, called me an AH and accused me of wanting to ruin his happiness.. i feel like i may have gone a tad too far here, AITA?

The author added an edit below: Click here to check it out!

Property disputes can ignite family feuds, especially when legal rights clash with emotional bonds. The OP’s dad dismissed her co-ownership, sparking a power struggle over her room, a space tied to her late mother’s legacy.

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Real estate attorney Sarah Brennan, in a Forbes article, notes, “Co-owners have equal rights to a property, regardless of financial contributions, unless otherwise stipulated” (source). The OP’s legal standing as half-owner empowers her eviction threat, though her dad’s claim about bills reflects a common tension in co-ownership dynamics.

This ties to a broader issue: blended family transitions. A 2022 Journal of Family Issues study found 61% of stepfamilies face conflicts over space and belongings during move-ins (source). The OP’s proactive cameras and talks with her stepmom show a push for control amid uncertainty.

For solutions, experts suggest mediation or legal clarity. The OP’s therapy plan is a strong start, but consulting a lawyer to affirm her rights could prevent future oversteps.

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See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit brought fiery support and sharp takes on this family showdown. Here’s the community’s unfiltered voice:

jumbie7 − NTA. One of my main concerns reading this was that your cat would be safe while you’re away. It doesn’t sound like he cares very much for you, so it seems reasonable that they wouldn’t take care of your cat. So, I’m that respect, the camera seem like a good idea.

Your dad seems like a jerk. Paying bills is one thing sure, but that doesn’t negate the legality of your ownership. I do recommend however that you start contributing as much as you can, if you’re able, so that he can’t use that against you. Side note: do you have anyone that you trust to come in and check on your cat regularly while you’re away?

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Terrible-Doughnut-58 − On a totally side note I'm really happy your step mum and step sister have your back!!

Ok-Abbreviations4510 − NTA. Why would anyone think it’s ok to move someone else into your room without even asking you? Especially when there’s another available room. Sell the house, take your half of the $ and move on with your life.

[Reddit User] − NTA ur dad is a massive one tho

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Sugardog1967 − OP, You are NTA! As much as other posters want to point out that this is an unusual situation, your mother willed you half the house. That was HER will, and your dad should respect it. Most kids feel terrible when their parents take over their rooms when they leave home.

IMO, your dad is not caring at all about your feelings. Maybe this is an opportunity for you to talk to him about how the house and that room, in particular, make you feel connected to the life you had before your mom passed, which I'm assuming is one of the reasons it is very important to you.

Another option, if he refuses to budge is to say, 'Okay, I have no say in the house? I will let you buy me out of my portion.' If he is going to be so stubborn and selfish and really wants the house to himself, let him pay you for half of it. That money could help you get started after college. :)

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Mentalcomposer − NTA, and I’m pissed on your behalf. Just because you’ll be at college, it does not mean you will never be coming home again. Holidays, summers, etc.. That house is your home. And your room is your room. I don’t understand your dad, does he not consider you a part of this family anymore?

You’re going to college, not the ends of the earth! I’m in the minority apparently, where I do not know a single family that switched or took away their kids room when they went to college.. My kids kept their room exactly as they left them.

I don’t see the big deal with SS taking the other room, you know, the unoccupied one, with her own bathroom to boot! You need to have a convo with all 3 of them and let them all know, in no uncertain terms, that your room will remain your room and SS can take the empty one.

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GothicGingerbread − Wow.. Firstly, NTA. Secondly, I was really, *really* glad to read about how your conversation with SM and SS went. They seem like good people. Thirdly, given how things went with SM and SS, I am absolutely mystified by your father's behavior.

Why in the hell was he so intent on moving SS into your room when she didn't even want to be there, when she wanted the third floor (the same place you wanted her to go)?? Why on earth was he so damned determined to move SM and SS in in the most disruptive, least considerate way possible? He sounds really screwed up. I'm sorry.

lostsomememory − NTA by any means! doesn’t matter if you don’t pay bills—the law doesn’t care what your dad thinks. if it’s willed to you, it’s half yours. your mom likely did this because she wanted you to be protected, safe, and have a privileged position (which you shouldn’t feel ashamed about!) in life. she was doing everything right as a mother by you.

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if your mom trusted your dad to not disrupt your life too much, she may have willed it to him, or given you less legal standing. But she didn’t. she gave you her half purposely, and you giving clear and concise boundaries that the other occupants (not owners) need to follow is entirely in your right and NOT entitlement or selfish. your DAD however,

definitely has some reflection and acceptance to do. he needs to accept that your mom/his late wife did NOT leave her share to him, likely for a reason, and that the house is as much as your own half as it was your mother’s.

Mermaidtoo − NTA. It’s not unreasonable for you to want to keep your space as-is. If you haven’t yet, you may want to meet with a lawyer to fully understand what rights you have to your home. For example, you might have the right to force the sale of the home.

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tatasz − NTA To start with, talk with a lawyer or a real estate attorney, to make clear your rights as co-owner. And make it clear to your father too. Then, check if bills paid while you were underage count, because chances are you were a kid and your father's obligation was to support you financially.. Said that, keep in mind that you may need to sell the house and split the $$$ soon.

These bold opinions cheer the OP, but do they miss the dad’s side?

This saga of a teen’s eviction threat to protect her room exposes raw tensions in a blended family. The OP’s stand, rooted in legal rights and love for her cat, clashes with her dad’s dismissal, leaving wounds to mend. Have you faced a family member overstepping your boundaries? What would you do in this drama? Share your thoughts below and let’s keep the convo rolling!

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Edit more:

EDIT: i gave my SM a call cause we've always been civil before this and explained the situation to her cause i didn't want to deal with my dad as of now. both her and my SS understand my side completely and told me they weren't made aware of this.

my SS has admitted she's always planned to move upstairs since her dog likes it and she enjoys the independence and extra privacy she would have, especially since she has anxiety and often needs time to just be alone and recharge. if they move in (she's gonna have a serious talk with my dad), it won't be on his terms.

she said that in the event that the move happens, they'll make sure my cat is well taken care of and my room left undisturbed. i kinda feel guilty for assuming they knew already, but i feel much better now knowing that they're on my side.

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EDIT2: all four of us had a talk together, he was still being weird but a bit less if that makes sense? maybe cause he was being confronted by all of us... SM and SS agreed to move in still, although they've put themselves on a trial run and will keep paying rent on their other apartment until the end of the year (when their lease runs out) instead of breaking the lease right away.

we've scheduled an appointment at a therapist for early next week (soonest we could get) to try to work through this. as i've said in my comments, this attitude really came out of the blue for him and maybe a therapist can help him deal with everything better.

i gave my SS a tour of my room and explained how to care for my cat, then told her if she needed anything from my room while i'm away to just give me a call. then we went upstairs and i helped her make her plans to customise her room since i did it once already and she had no idea where to start off. we should be okay, i hope therapy will help.

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