AITA for telling my housemate his girlfriend cant stay anymore?

Imagine coming home after a long day, craving a quick coffee to fuel your assignment grind, only to spark a household war over a single Red Bull. That’s the reality for Jake, a 24-year-old uni student sharing a cozy apartment with his best mate. Their bromance paradise took a hit when the mate’s girlfriend, T, turned their home into her personal buffet and lodging—without pitching in. When Jake unknowingly sipped her precious energy drink, T’s meltdown flipped the vibe, leaving him wondering if he’s the bad guy for laying down the law.

Jake’s Reddit post on AITA is a juicy slice of housemate drama, blending friendship, boundaries, and a freeloading girlfriend who’s testing everyone’s patience. His ultimatum—T pays her share or hits the road—has Redditors buzzing with opinions. Was Jake right to draw the line, or did he overreact to a fridge faux pas? Let’s dive into this spicy saga that’s got the internet serving hot takes.

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‘AITA for telling my housemate his girlfriend cant stay anymore?’

I share an apartment with a friend I've known for years (both M24). We have had this place for over a year and havent had any real issues, we get along well and do heaps together. He works full time, I am a university student and we split all bills, food and rent down the middle (we hate the idea of 'share houses' and just want it to feel like a home).

A few months ago, he started seeing a girl (T) who spends every day and night at our place (T is also a university student and hates her studio apartment.). Until recently, I have had no issue with T being here and have never asked her to pay for anything. She eats all meals at our place and takes food to uni if she needs.

They way I see it, housemate and I just buy a bit more food and it really doesn't matter. The other week, I got home from uni, went to the kitchen to make a coffee (I had an assignment I needed to work on so wanted a pick me up) and when I opened the fridge I noticed some redbulls.

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I just assumed my housemate had gotten them for us so I grabbed one and drank it. The next morning at breakfast, T opened the fridge and then got super angry that one of HER redbulls was missing. I said it was me and that I thought my housemate had gotten them.

She started telling me how she bought them for herself and I should have asked and that I needed to apologise for taking it. I was going to tell T that its my fridge and I shouldn't have to ask if I can have stuff in it, but didn't want to start a conflict so just apologised.. She demanded I by her a replacement....

Since then she has started labelling any drinks or food she brings for herself and makes a point of saying its hers. After all this, I have said to my housemate that I don't want her staying at our place unless she is going to start paying rent, paying for bills and pitching in to pay for food. I don't want to pay for her anymore just so that she can abuse me for taking a drink from my own fridge.. AITA?.

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Update: Just to address some of the common things iv been reading (also thanks all, its nice to see only a few said ITA 🤣). I avoided saying anything at the time because my housemate and I are close to brothers and I don't want a fight like this to make him have to pick (honestly I know he would dump her ass and stick with me).

Housemate is a great guy and I in no way think he has tried to take advantage, when I have had gfs stay or we have had mates over, we have just kept to 50/50 as always (sometimes people buy us food or pitch in as thanks, but we never expect it). He and I act more as family in a house rather than housemates, which is why its never been an issue.

T is very manipulative. As a side story, housemate and I always do a movie night once a week. Its our tradition and we loved it. T has said she wants to join us and then every time, around 30mins in, she will wisper something to him or act a certain way and draw him away to the bedroom.

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Honestly its peeved me a tad as she is clearly just trying to assert some dominance there, but I also joke with the housemate about is and how little he is able to think with his bigger head when the little one is active. I have laughed at the (few) comments calling me a pushover, and I can see how it looks like that here.

I normally am the first to stand up and react to something and hate people being rude. In this situation it hasn't been an issue until and and my desire to not cause an issue was less about her, more about not wanting conflict with the housemate.

Since I talked to him about her needed to pay or leave, she has spent more time at her own place but now just comes round and has the ability to kill the mood in any room. I want them to separate, I think he cant see this lasting either....but she is hot and he thinks with the wrong head.....a lot....

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Jake’s fridge fiasco is a masterclass in housemate dynamics gone sour. T’s constant presence, eating Jake’s food without contributing, screams entitlement, but her Red Bull rant flipped the script from guest to freeloader. Jake’s ultimatum—pay up or leave—was a boundary set in frustration, not spite. This isn’t just about a drink; it’s about fairness in shared spaces.

Psychologist Dr. Irene Levine, an expert on friendships, notes, “Clear boundaries are essential for maintaining healthy relationships, especially in shared living” (thefriendshipblog). T’s refusal to share while hogging resources violates the unspoken give-and-take of cohabitation. A 2021 study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that 70% of housemate conflicts stem from unequal contributions (journals). Jake’s reaction reflects this tension, amplified by T’s manipulative streak, like hijacking movie nights.

Jake’s next move? Experts suggest a calm sit-down with his housemate, sans T, to reset house rules. Dr. Levine advises framing it as “we” versus the problem, like, “We need a fair system for guests.” Jake could propose a guest limit—say, three nights a week—or a small contribution for extras. If T balks, her studio awaits. Jake’s loyalty to his mate is noble, but fairness trumps feelings here.

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Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

The Reddit gang rolled in like a rowdy pub crowd, dishing out cheers and shade for Jake’s kitchen standoff. It’s like a mate’s group chat on steroids—everyone’s got a take, and they’re not holding back. Here’s the raw scoop:

[Reddit User] − NTA your roommate may actually be violating the lease by letting another person stay over too much. But beyond that you need to sit down with your roommate and try to set some reasonable visitation limits. Unfortunately, beyond getting the landlord to establish a no trespass on her there's not much you can do to really enforce anything other than look for another place.

[Reddit User] − NTA.. She has to chip in if she’s staying over that much.. It’s still your house and your fridge. Petty solution: write up all the things she consumes and present her with a bill or demand she buys you a replacement.

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razzledazzle626 − NTA, she’s being extremely rude and self centered. She takes your food/drinks constantly, the very least she can do is understand that if she puts something in the fridge there’s a chance you could have some. Also, I agree she should pay rent, utilities, and food if she’s there that often.

Hadiax − NTA. She eats your stuff then goes off when you (accidentally) drink a redbull of hers... seems like a one way street to me. Either she shares too or she pays.. Out of curiosity.. How did your roommate react to this?

peachmelbaa − NTA it sounds like a honest mistake and if that's the way gf acted then you are in your rights to set your own boundaries and rules. I think you have been fair and let it go on long enough without asking for anything. But doesn't sound like the gf is just a guest any more.

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HedgehogOptimal1784 − NTA. At the very least I would say, if you are going to eat my food I will eat yours, if that isn't acceptable then your food should be in your fridge at your apartment. She can't have it both ways.

SillyStallion − Check your tenancy agreement - usually it limits visitors to 3 nights a week, so they can't claim any rights to the property.

[Reddit User] − NTA. You were being more than generous and she took advantage and now has flipped the vibe and sharing arrangement you and your roommate had. Tell her to put her red bulls in her studio fridge and she won’t have to worry.

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Which_Balance399 − NTA.. Definitely check your lease with your landlord. I'd write up a bill list and give her it to her saying she needs to pay a third from now on if she wants to stay as much, if she doesn't want to then she can't stay.. Put your name on EVERYTHING you've brought, maybe petty but hey she started it

Select-Anxiety-1557 − NTA. You agreed to share a place with your friend, not your friend and his girlfriend. If she has her own place, why is she constantly over at yours? Oh yeah, because you and your friend are subsidizing her life.

You’re paying the hydro for her to be there, you’re paying the water, you’re paying the food and internet. Talk to your friend and limit how often she can stay over. DO NOT insist she starts paying for staying there! That will give her some tenant rights and you do not want that!

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Redditors crowned Jake the hero, roasting T’s double standards and urging lease checks for leverage. Some suggested petty revenge—like billing her for snacks—while others pushed for mate-to-mate talks. But do their fiery opinions nail the vibe, or are they just stirring the pot? One thing’s clear: Jake’s drama has the internet buzzing like a caffeine high.

Jake’s Red Bull saga is a wake-up call about boundaries in shared spaces. His stand against T’s freeloading wasn’t just about a drink—it was a reclaiming of his home. Whether T shapes up or ships out, Jake’s story resonates with anyone who’s dealt with a mooch. What would you do if your mate’s partner turned your place into their crash pad? Drop your thoughts and stories below!

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