AITA for declining to participate in a “meal train” for a woman with an able bodied husband and adult son living with her?
Picture a church group chat buzzing with pleas for a meal train, a sweet gesture to feed a recovering member. But for one busy woman, the latest request—for a lady named Sue, laid up with back pain—didn’t sit right. Sue’s got a husband and grown son at home, both perfectly capable of wielding a spatula. So, she politely declined to cook, expecting the men to step up. Cue the drama: a friend called, dripping with guilt, and her own husband hinted she could’ve been “nicer.”
Was she wrong to skip the meal train, or is it fair to question why the men aren’t pitching in? Reddit’s got a lot to say, and this tale of community pressure and gender roles is cooking up a storm.
‘AITA for declining to participate in a “meal train” for a woman with an able bodied husband and adult son living with her?’
Declining a meal train shouldn’t spark a feud, but this woman’s choice did. Sue’s back pain is real, but with two able-bodied men in her home, the woman saw no need to cook for them. Her logic? They can handle meals. Yet, Jane’s guilt-trip call and her husband’s nudge to “be nice” suggest she’s bucking an unspoken rule: women should always step up.
This situation screams gender bias. The woman’s refusal challenges why meal trains often target women, ignoring men’s role in caregiving. A 2020 study found 70% of household cooking falls to women, even in dual-income homes (source). Sue’s husband and son, both working full-time, aren’t exempt from pitching in.
Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, notes, “Equity in household tasks strengthens family bonds and challenges outdated gender norms” (source). Here, the woman’s stance pushes back on enabling Sue’s family to dodge responsibility. Jane’s snippiness and the husband’s deflection—she’s “starting an argument”—show discomfort with her boundary.
Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:
Reddit didn’t hold back, dishing out fiery takes on this meal train mess. Here’s the community’s unfiltered feedback:
These opinions are bold, but do they cut to the heart of the issue or just stir the pot?
This meal train drama serves up a bitter truth: old-school gender roles still simmer beneath community kindness. The woman’s refusal to cook for Sue’s family wasn’t about cruelty—it was a stand for fairness. Why should women bear the load when capable men are in the house? Her choice sparked snark and shade, but it’s a question worth asking. Would you sign up for the meal train or tell Sue’s men to grab a cookbook? Jump in below and let’s dish!
