AITA – left wallet in best friends car… she’s mad because I had my cards cancelled?

Jonathan Hours
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Imagine a sunny weekend hangout turning into a friendship fiasco over a forgotten wallet. A woman left her wallet in her best friend’s car, expecting a quick return. But days passed with excuses, canceled meetups, and vague promises. Frustrated and needing access to her funds, she canceled her debit and credit cards—a practical move, right? Not according to her friend, who unleashed a tirade, calling her a bully and a bad friend for daring to distrust her.

The fallout was swift, splitting opinions and ending a long-time bond. Was she wrong to protect her finances, or was her friend’s reaction a red flag too big to ignore? Reddit’s got plenty to say, and this tale of trust and tension is one you won’t want to miss.

‘AITA – left wallet in best friends car… she’s mad because I had my cards cancelled?’

So I left my wallet in my best friend’s car over the weekend. Every time we set a time to meet she cancels, changes the time, or has an excuse as to why she can’t meet for me to get my wallet. I offered to go to her house..:but she’s “never” home.

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So I told her I’m just going to have my debit card, and the other cards I have in my car wallet canceled and/or reported as stolen. She flipped her s**t and told me I’m a b**ch and an a**hole for doing that and that it shows how bad of a friend I am for not trusting her, and how I’m bullying her by treating her like a theft and criminal.

The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

Leaving a wallet in a friend’s car shouldn’t spark a war, but for this woman, it did. Her best friend’s delays in returning it pushed her to cancel her cards—a move that ignited fury. The friend’s explosive reaction, accusing her of bullying and betrayal, raises eyebrows. Was it an overreaction, or something shadier?

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The woman’s choice was pragmatic. Her cards were inaccessible, and her bank offered same-day replacements. Canceling them was about regaining control, not accusing her friend of theft. Yet, her friend took it personally, framing it as a character attack. This clash highlights trust issues. As Dr. Irene Levine, a friendship expert, notes, “Trust is the foundation of friendship, but it’s fragile. Miscommunications can escalate if not addressed promptly” (source).

Per a 2021 study, 68% of friendships face conflicts over reliability, like failing to follow through. Here, the friend’s excuses eroded trust, and her outburst deepened the rift. The woman’s decision protected her finances but cost the friendship—a mutual split, as both saw red flags.

Moving forward, clear communication could’ve helped. A calm, “I need my cards back ASAP” might’ve avoided drama.

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Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit brought the heat with candid, no-holds-barred takes on this wallet saga. Here’s what they had to say:

Salted-Labia − NTA. If I had a friend react like this my first assumption would be they're trying to steal from me.

AntiqueFroyo2378 − I would also like to add she said I was bullying her by having my cards canceled and if I was a real friend I would have never done such a thing to her.

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emmy1905 − Red flags, cancel your cards, please. Check your online records for the transactions. NTA. Overreaction on her part about you cancelling your cards. She shouldn't hold on to your identity and cards for so long. You should cancel and report losing your wallet.

thebuffaloqueen − I just want to add a personal story for reference here: Back in summer of 2020, I accidentally left my wallet on the roof of my car while out shopping in a city about an hour drive from where I live. I notice it's gone when I get home. Call the store, call the police station in that area, nobody's turned it in.

The next morning I cancel all my cards and order new ones. 2 more days pass and I'm at work sulking because I don't have access to any of my money and I'm still waiting for new bank cards, plus I had like $90 in cash that I'll never see again. On my lunch break, I jump on facebook and see a messenger notification.

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I have an unread message from a woman who isn't on my friend's list and who I'm not connected with in any way. The message was from that first night, the night I lost it. She said she was leaving the parking lot of the store I'd been at and noticed a wallet lying in a puddle. It was raining and she picked it up so it wouldn't get ruined sitting in water all night.

She used the name on my ID to find me on Facebook and told me she'd keep it safe until she could get it back to me. I messaged back immediately and she offered to meet me halfway that night after I got off work. When she returned my wallet, she had cleaned the exterior, attempted to dry the whole thing with a hair dryer, and taken the cash out to air dry (then put it all back in),

then drive 25 miles at 9pm to give it back after keeping it safe until I got her message 3 days later. A stranger. Someone I had never met, haven't interacted with since. Someone with no connection to me at all. In fact, when I was thanking her I mentioned that I'd pretty much accepted that I'd never see the wallet again before seeing her message and that.

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I'd already canceled all my cards she said, 'smart girl.' The fact that this person is supposed to be your FRIEND? Insane. NTA and please consider that this is not the way friends treat friends. No matter the circumstances or motivations, your girl did you dirty.

Silent-Focus47 − NTA - but you need to ask yourself if a 'best friend' really treats someone the way she treated you. What you did was reasonable. What she fails to see is that you were actually protecting her. Ask her - was she maybe overreacting to the word 'stolen'? Reporting the cards as lost instead of stolen would have been a better option.

jrm1102 − NTA - bit of an overreaction on her part. This has no bearing on her, and really its her fault for being so flippant about meeting you.

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Capable_Fig3903 − NTA. ​. Are you sure you 'left' your wallet, her reaction is suspicious.

extinct_diplodocus − NTA and she's not a friend. A friend would make a serious effort to get your wallet back to you as quickly as possible.. Since she's been avoiding you, canceling your cards as lost or stolen will let you get new ones faster than your 'friend' seems willing to do.. Doing this should not matter to your 'friend' unless something shady is going on.

On each call to cancel, ask if any transactions have been done since \[the date you lost it\]. If so, you can dispute them as fraudulent immediately.. Your 'friend''s over the top reaction *should* make you suspicious. Even if none of the cards have been used, she had full access to enough information to mail order at a later date using your cards' contents.

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lolagoetz_bs − Tell her this: I don’t know why you are getting upset. I have to cancel them so I can get replacements asap. Because I NEED my cards and it doesn’t seem to be a priority to you to get them back to me. It’s the only way to get new ones.

Curious-One4595 − NTA. She's either a thief or a crazy person. Find a new best friend. Hey all, I wasn’t expecting such an overwhelming response. The wallet has been returned, it was left with the security guard at the entrance gate where I live. But thank you to everyone who took time to respond and give advice and their opinions on this situation. It was greatly appreciated.

These comments are spicy, but do they nail the truth or just fan the flames?

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This wallet mishap turned a friendship into a battlefield, proving how fast trust can crumble. Canceling cards was a practical fix for the woman, but her friend saw it as a slap in the face. Was it a smart move or a step too far? The friendship’s over, but the debate rages on. What would you do—cancel the cards or give your friend more time? Drop your thoughts below and let’s unpack this drama together!

Hey all, I wasn’t expecting such an overwhelming response. The wallet has been returned, it was left with the security guard at the entrance gate where I live. But thank you to everyone who took time to respond and give advice and their opinions on this situation. It was greatly appreciated.

In regards to the cards, and as to why I canceled them was because with my bank you get same day replacements. The friendship has been ended it was a mutual agreement. I should have been more mindful of her red flags, and I should have taken into account that she was never really a friend and was more so using me.

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