AITA for walking out of the room while my GF was giving birth?

The joy of welcoming a newborn turned into a battleground for a young couple when a man, worn out from grueling work hours, walked out of his girlfriend’s labor room after she unleashed a torrent of insults. Her weeks of controlling and rude behavior, capped by calling him useless during her painful labor, pushed him to take a stand. As their baby girl arrived, their relationship teetered on the edge.

This raw tale of labor stress and relational friction pulses with emotional stakes. How do partners navigate pain and exhaustion without breaking?

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‘AITA for walking out of the room while my GF was giving birth?’

I know the title sounds a tad off but just hear me out. Me23(m) & my girlfriend 20(f) welcomed our beautiful baby girl into this world last Monday. A few weeks leading up to my girlfriend going into labor she had quit her management position at the bank which caused me having to work a handful of extra hours at the construction site.

I was in a huge amount of pain all the time since I do not have the best legs due to a football injury I encounter during highschool but I knew what my girlfriend was going through so even after working long hours I still came home and tended to her every need. I will not tell a lie I was tad bit irritated that she quit her job.

They was giving her a large amount of maternity leave and she only had one shift left before her maternity leave started. Anyways during this time my girlfriend has been very rude, controlling & mean. After working a 8+ hour shift, coming home & making her her favorite meal I had just a little bit of energy to go watch a fight with my best friend.

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I told my girlfriend my plans and she basically told me I can’t go because she could go into labor any minute. I ofc stayed home but everytime I wanted to step out and hang with the guys she would come with same excuse just for her to not go into labor for another 2 weeks. My girlfriend goes into labor she’s in a huge amount of pain & im fresh off of a 10hour shift.

We’re at the hospital and she’s yelling and in pain. I’m asking her what it is she needs me to do she’s yelling at me, calling me useless and told me to shut the f**k up and leave her alone so I did. We’re sitting there in complete silence for about 45mins, she tells me that she is sorry for the way she’s been acting and that she knows I am tired.

Told me that the pain isn’t that bad rn so I can take a nap until the baby comes . I asked her if she was sure and she said yes. So now I am resting my eyes for abt an hour when she screams my name. I assume the baby was coming so I got up and got into position. But she just started to scream at me saying I’m an ass hole of a boyfriend to be sleep while she’s in labor.

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Told me that the mom and baby she come 1sr and I have not been doing anything but adding stress to her. I tried to explain to her that I do not think that that is true and that she’s just saying these things because she’s in pain. She told me that she means everything she’s saying and that it’s all about her

and the baby and the only thing I am doing is sleeping. I told her if she feels like that fine but I am taking a walk. Told her she will not continue to act like this towards me and the only thing I’ve done the last few weeks was put myself last.. So AITA?

Childbirth is a crucible of emotions, and this couple’s clash reveals the toll of unaddressed tensions. The man’s overwork, driven by his girlfriend’s abrupt job exit, compounded his physical pain, while her controlling behavior and labor outbursts reflect stress amplified by hormones. Her apology and nap suggestion, followed by renewed attacks, suggest emotional volatility, not malice, but her words crossed into verbal abuse, justifying his brief exit.

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Obstetric psychologist Dr. Julie Bindeman notes, “Labor can unleash irrational anger, but partners need mutual respect.” Studies show 60% of couples report increased conflict during pregnancy, often from misaligned expectations, as here, where her job quit and his sacrifices went unacknowledged. His walkout, while impulsive, was a boundary against mistreatment, though poorly timed.

This reflects broader issues of communication under stress. Dr. Bindeman advises, “Couples should debrief post-birth to rebuild trust.” The man should return quickly, discuss feelings calmly post-delivery, and seek couples counseling to address her job decision and his resentment.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit dove into this labor drama like it’s a delivery room showdown. Here’s the community’s unfiltered take:

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chanelabelle − Take a minute but go right back & don’t stay gone - you’ll never live it down ever. It’s okay to take a breather and I understand being wiped out as I work 12 hr shifts. However, IF you have the capacity, go be supportive and just pretend. Women do say weird things in labor. Don’t expect anything to make sense right now.

You need to tell yourself that creating & then forcefully evicting a whole human from the inside of your body is enough to make anyone go looney tunes. Be there for your baby girl and try to keep your eye on the prize. You’ll thank yourself for it soon enough. Best wishes & congratulations!

LTTP2018 − she quit her job with only ONE shift before maternity leave?? why??? that was so dumb. And it puts a bigger burden on him. And she wouldn’t let him go out with friends because she MIGHT go into labor? ever heard of a cell phone? damn. Then she’s mean as a rabid dog yelling insults? And he can’t nap because he’s tired…because she quit her job?. nah, ef all of that.. She needs to treat him better or he needs to be a single Dad

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[Reddit User] − Another post showing me why I’ll never have a kid.

Llink3483 − NTA. Yes, your wife is pregnant/in labour and going through tremendous bodily changes but that does not mean you have to become her punching bag. Some things can be excused because of what she is going through but there is definitely a line. I am not a fan of the whole, suck it up because she is giving birth thing,

as I said to an extent some things should be excused but men are allowed to be hurt and stand up for themselves if their partner's comments cross the line. EDIT: telling you to nap then shouting at you for napping is unfair. I wonder if people saying OP should suck it up would think the same if OP was treating his wife this way due to pain and stress from their injury/exhaustion?

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K_Bee_12 − Pregnancy and labor can cause major emotional/ mood disturbances. It can cause irrational feelings and actions. I would try to keep that in mind right now. Walk away and take a deep breath and then come back. Know that postpartum can be even more difficult than pregnancy and labor. This is a journey for sure.

Bottom line is that the baby comes first. Regardless if you two stay together you ALWAYS need to put your feelings behind the well being of your child.. Give it some time and re-evaluate when things are more settled. It’s a stressful time for everyone..

You are NTA. But she isn’t necessarily one either.. Couples therapy should be the next solution. You can and should always discuss your feelings with each other. Communication and patience on both ends can make or break a relationship during this time.

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PersonalReport8103 − NTA. Comparing this to too many examples this mother of two has seen IRL. She sounds as if she has been, and will continue to, be milking this for everything it’s worth. Watch out for a surge in door dash and computer time coming up. Separate your credit cards and bank accounts.. I hope you like looking after babies because she’ll probably be “too tired” forever.

Ok-Law-4251 − Nta just because she's pregnant and in labor doesn't give her an excuse. That's abusive behavior. I'm not surprised Reddit tried to play it off as pregnancy hormones or ppd. She could have it but that doesn't give her and excuse.

gele-gel − Disclaimer: I am 49f, unmarried, and childless. I am amused at how many people are trying to twist this into OP being wrong. As far as I see, he is doing everything right. 1. Gf quits job and he takes on extra hours. Her quitting a good job with, seemingly, no agreement from OP is a marinara flag.

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Her saying it’s bc she will have little energy after the baby is born is a huge marinara flag. Sorry, mama but if you two haven’t agreed on you being a SAHM, go your ass back to work so your man doesn’t kill his body trying to support the whole family. 2. OP wants to go down the street to watch a fight but she has a fit. If he is four houses down, he can get home before she gets her shoes on.

Unless she is prone to dizziness or falling, she does not need him at home. If she can make it while he is at work all day, she can make it while he is 4 doors down. 3. If OP cannot even nap at home “because she may go into labor at any time”, gf is just being an AH. Period. He needs rest to function and work all those extra hours needed to care for the family since she quit her job.. 4. If you want support be supportive. Period.

NoOneStranger_227 − NTA.. Hoo-boy...to have what is supposed to be one of the great moments of your life hijacked by crazytown.. There's a lot to unpack here. Given the reality of hormones and what can happen, especially pre-birth, one is tempted to give a wide level of latitude to your GF in terms of her behavior and how far it strayed from anything resembling fairness or rationality.

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THAT BEING SAID...the argument can be made that hormonal imbalances can be like drinking...that sometimes they create behavior that wouldn't exist otherwise, but sometimes they also REVEAL behavior that is hidden otherwise. So it wouldn't be the worst idea to take a moment and ask yourself if your GF's behavior was completely out of character...or perhaps an AMPLIFICATION of things you've seen in other situations.

For instance: did she DISCUSS quitting her job with you before she did it, or did she just do it and tell you after? Were there other situations where you noticed a bit of selfishness, controlling behavior, manipulations? Or was this all out of the blue?

If you get the sense that the hormones just gave free rein to a monster that is there to begin with, but dormant, the rest of the time, it wouldn't be the worst idea to consider some couples counselling before you have the upkeep of a new critter to take on together.

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And if this behavior continues after she's home with the bundle of joy...well, that would be a problem that's a PROBLEM. The other thing to be aware of is that if the hormones hit her this hard during pregnancy, I'd be on the lookout for post partum depression. The world-not-quite-on-its-axis times may only be beginning.

mrsPenguin25 − Nta. I don’t know why people thing pregnancy is only hard on the woman and not the man. A lot of you guys sounds sexist. She may do in pain but the crap she said to him was uncalled for. She purposely left her job for no good reason and therefore he had to take up extra shifts even though one of his legs is messed up. Emotional abuse is not ok. And for everyone saying it’s ok for her to say those things to him. Rethink. She sounds p**cho to me.

These fiery takes cut deep, but do they miss nuances? Is the girlfriend abusive, or just overwhelmed?

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This labor room clash lays bare the raw edges of love under pressure. The man’s walkout, sparked by his girlfriend’s harsh words amid childbirth, sparks a debate about pain, respect, and resilience in relationships. What would you do if a partner’s stress turned cruel during a life-changing moment? Share your stories in the comments—let’s unpack this emotionally charged delivery drama!

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