AITA for asking Step daughter to move out?

In the cramped quarters of a two-bedroom home, a pregnant woman found herself at a crossroads as her due date neared. At 33, she and her husband shared their space with his 23-year-old daughter from a previous relationship, a young woman with a full-time job but financial struggles. With a baby on the way and no room to spare, the woman suggested the step-daughter move out—a proposal meant to solve a practical problem but one that stirred deep tensions and hurt feelings.

This story unfolds with the ache of a family stretched thin by space and circumstance, pulling readers into a drama of housing woes, generational gaps, and the delicate balance of blended families. It’s a tale that resonates with anyone navigating the challenges of change in tight quarters.

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‘AITA for asking Step daughter to move out?’

This is an ongoing issue going on in my home. I 33F am currently pregnant with my first child. I live in a two bedroom home with my husband and step-daughter (23F). Step- aughter and I get along fine no big issues but we also are not super close.

Now that the baby is coming we need more space unfortunately we can't afford a new home. I brought up to my husband asking Step-daughter to move out. My reasoning is that we really need her room for the new baby and she is an adult with a full time job so it is time for her to be on her own anyway.

My husband agreed and we brought it up to her at dinner one night. We told her we would help with her first 2 months rent. I told her it would be fun her and I could go shopping and I will help her decorate her new apartment. We tried to be as gentle as we could but she was very quiet.

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Privately she told my husband that even though she as a full time job she cannot afford to live on her own. My husband told her she did not need to move out so now we are scrambling trying to find space for new baby.

The other day I was home alone with Step- daughter and tried to talk to her about it again. I offered to help her find a roommate and she snapped on me. She snapped on me and told me to just leave her alone and locked herself in her room.

When my husband got home from work he was mad at me and told me to leave her alone and not bring it up anymore. Things have been awkward and uncomfortable since making my pregnancy very stressful. She is 23 old enough to be on her own she has a job and we are willing to help her. We need space for our baby I do not see how I am in the wrong here.

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This housing dilemma reflects the harsh realities of modern living for blended families. The woman’s request, while practical, overlooks the economic challenges her step-daughter faces. At 23, with a likely entry-level job, moving out is daunting—rental prices have surged, with average U.S. rents up 30% since 2020. Her step-daughter’s resistance is less about defiance and more about survival.

The woman’s approach, though well-intentioned, lacked empathy for the step-daughter’s perspective. Dr. Patricia Papernow, a stepfamily expert, notes, “Blended families thrive on mutual understanding, not ultimatums”. Offering two months’ rent and decorating help doesn’t address the long-term affordability issue, especially in a high-cost area, which may explain the step-daughter’s emotional outburst.

This situation also highlights poor planning by the parents. Bringing a child into a home without space, while expecting another adult to leave, places undue burden on the step-daughter. Babies can share a room with parents for the first year—AAP guidelines recommend this for safety . A compromise, like the step-daughter contributing rent to fund a larger home, could have been explored.

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To move forward, the woman should apologize for the pressure and focus on collaborative solutions, like researching affordable rentals together or adjusting living arrangements temporarily. The husband’s protective stance suggests he feels caught in the middle—family therapy could help align their priorities. This episode underscores the need for empathy and planning in blended families facing growth.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit community largely labeled the woman YTA, criticizing her for prioritizing her baby over her step-daughter’s stability. Many highlighted the economic struggles young adults face, noting that her offer of two months’ rent doesn’t solve the affordability issue. Commenters felt she lacked foresight in planning for the baby, suggesting the infant could share her room initially.

The consensus sympathized with the step-daughter, seeing her as displaced by a new family dynamic. Redditors urged the woman to consider compromises, like a shared rent contribution for a larger home, and to leave discussions to the husband to avoid further alienation. The feedback was a call for compassion amid tough circumstances.

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wolfeye18 − Info: So you and your husband can’t afford another place to live but you expect her to ?

DeltaVDeficit − YTA.. You're barely a decade older than your step-daughter, leave her parenting to her actual parent.. Secondly, yes she's behaving badly towards you; you're trying to kick her out of her home.

Thirdly, have you any idea of the economic fuckery going on in the world today? Completely unsurprising that a full-time (presumably entry-level for a 20something) job cannot cover expenses.. Edit: Grammar

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Hot-Plum-874 − YTA. It is hard for young adults these days. Unless they marry an older guy with $$$. Your baby can stay in the room with you for the first months. You are being unrealistic about decorating a new place. Leave the discussions with her to your husband.

Sacred_Apollyon − 'Oi, time for you to f**k off, off you pop, your replacement will be here soon and despite the fact that for the first 6 months they don't need an entire room, you need to go now even though there's a cost of living crisis etc. Don't care and I'll keep raising it with you.'.  

You know that she's not super close with you for a reason, don't you, and that you're also replacing her - even if you're not, it does look that way, even to an adult?.   You made a decision to have a child despite not being in the financial situation to house that child without turfing someone else out to make room.

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She's going to absolutely loathe you if you push this you understand? And she'll likely be fine with her father ... until he potentially also realises it was a s**tty move and based on you bringing a life into the world you couldn't fully fund or house?.  

She told her dad privately because she doesn't like you, or trust you, and you only further cemented that by bringing it up. The smarmy 'But we'll help you decorate and help with some rent!' doesn't really help when, after two months, her wages don't enable her to keep the place. But by that point you won't give a s**t, right, because *new baby* and you got your way?.  

YTA. You can either accept that and push and push and alienate her, deprive the baby of an older sister and ultiamtely alienate the father or, just an idea, find a bigger place where she can continue to live with you WHILST paying a rent so it's affordable.

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Or maybe plan your family better next time before getting pregnant and THEN thinking 'Oh s**t, where's it going to stay, whoops, looks like your kids on the bounce!'.   The average age to leave home isn't 18 now or even 25.

Most young people cannot afford to leave home and don't particularly want to live with strangers weirdly. And no, I'm older than you, but apparently not quite so callous. Then again I've only got my own child to think about, I don't have to try and justify being s**tty to someone elses and feigning compassion and caring.

CaptainWarped − NAH I think everyone is actually coming from an understandable place but.... You're ten years older than your step-daughter.. Sounds like dad is TA here.

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bagelbagelbagelcat − If she contributes some rent and groceries, would you be able to afford a 3br? More cost effective than two places, and she wouldn't feel so pushed out.

[Reddit User] − YTA. Why didn’t you plan for this before you decided to have a baby in a home that doesn’t have space for a baby?

Impressive-Amoeba-97 − NAH even tho you raw dogged it without the room available for the result. Sounds like you married an older man without the accompanying bank account, with no real assets brought to the marriage by you, even at your age, so I feel sorry for your short-sightedness.

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You'll be fine with the infant in your room for the next 2 years. I don't know if you noticed, but a lot of kids are staying home with their parents much longer because they can't afford to live.

I told my son-in-law who lives with me rent free, people can afford a car payment, or housing payment, but not both in this market. One or both are gonna give somewhere. You're VERY short-sighted. I gave my judgment, but I'm totally team SD.

StonedSumo − INFO: do you know how much she makes, and how much is a rental in your area? because 2 months of 'help' could be not nearly enough for her to scrap by, and you seem eager to just kick her out instead of finding a compromise.

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Edit: OP seems to be avoiding the thread, hasn't responded to any of the comments, which just makes me think this is more about kicking her step daughter than to actually have a place for the new baby.

so I'm gonna say YTA, and I want to add that I just *can't* with the USA's mentality that kicking a family member out as soon as they are able to vote (no matter how much they will struggle) is completely acceptable and encouraged. Edit 2: ooh I can’t believe I managed to p**s off some americans to the point they feel the need to comment “hey not all americans” 🤣 I love it

[Reddit User] − YTA. Rental prices have increased extraordinarily, some places are worse then others- is the area high cost of living? It's wasn't your place to have the one to talk to her. You should have spoken to your husband and he should have been the one to have a one on one chat again.

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It kind of sounds like you're driving her out of her family and are more interested in raising a family of 3 instead of being a family of 4. May not be your intention, but from how you worded things it's pretty obvious that your unborn child is already more important to you than your stepdaughter.. I feel bad for the stepdaughter in all of this.

This cramped home drama reveals the strain of space and family ties. The woman’s request, though rooted in need, overlooked her step-daughter’s reality, turning a practical issue into an emotional divide. A collaborative approach might rebuild trust. Have you faced a similar housing crunch with family? Share your experiences—let’s unpack this together!

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