AITAH for “punishing” my brother by making him eat my cooking after he made fun of my girlfriend’s ethnicity?

The sizzle of a family BBQ fills the air, plates piled high with vibrant Middle Eastern dishes, until a 21-year-old’s snide remarks about “sandbox food” cut through the chatter. His brother, a 24-year-old defending his girlfriend’s heritage, doesn’t start a shouting match—instead, he cooks up a sly revenge: a week of bland, barely edible “American” meals. Hot dogs, plain bread, and canned beans become the menu of reckoning.

This isn’t just about bad cooking—it’s a clash over respect and family loyalty. The brother’s pleas for mercy and their parents’ disapproval stir the pot, leaving the man wondering if his culinary punishment went too far. Readers are hooked: was his creative retaliation a stroke of genius, or a petty overstep? The BBQ drama demands a verdict.

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‘AITAH for “punishing” my brother by making him eat my cooking after he made fun of my girlfriend’s ethnicity?’

This man shared his family feud on Reddit, detailing his brother’s racist jabs and his unconventional response. Here’s his original post, serving up the full story.

Okay so throwaway because my brother knows my main. I'm a 24M, my brother is 21M. I’ve been dating my girlfriend (22F) for about a year now — she's Middle Eastern. Last weekend, we had a family BBQ, and my girlfriend brought some homemade food from her culture (stuffed g**pe leaves, hummus, etc).

Everyone was loving it — except my brother, who made some ignorant comments like, 'This looks like it was made in a sandbox,' and 'Do they even cook their food or just find it on the ground?' I told him to knock it off, but he kept making jokes under his breath.

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I didn’t want to make a huge scene, so I just took him aside after and said if he thought it was so gross, then he can try my cooking for the next week — and I'd make it 'authentic.' I'm not a great cook. I basically gave him the most stereotypical versions of 'American' meals I could think of — boiled hot dogs, plain white bread, canned green beans (no seasoning). No sauces. No nothing.

He lasted 3 days before begging for real food. Now my parents are saying I was being a jerk for 'punishing' him like a child and that I should have just let it go.. AITAH?

Family gatherings can expose ugly biases, and this BBQ turned sour with racist remarks. The 24-year-old’s decision to “punish” his brother with a week of bland meals was a creative jab at his ignorance, but his parents’ dismissal of the racism as something to “let go” raises red flags. The brother’s comments weren’t just tasteless—they targeted his girlfriend’s Middle Eastern heritage, a serious boundary violation.

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This highlights how families handle prejudice. A 2023 study in Journal of Social Issues found that ignoring racist remarks in family settings often normalizes bias, especially when elders downplay it. The man’s response, while humorous, addressed the issue head-on, unlike his parents’ enabling.

Cultural psychologist Dr. Pamela Hays says, “Challenging racism in families requires clear consequences, but humor can diffuse tension if paired with dialogue”. Her insight suggests the meals were a clever tactic, but a follow-up talk could solidify the lesson. The brother’s quick surrender shows he felt the sting.

The man could discuss boundaries with his family to prevent future incidents. His brother should apologize to the girlfriend.

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Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit dove into this BBQ drama with takes as zesty as a spice rack. Here’s a roundup of their thoughts, sprinkled with humor—because even family feuds need a laugh.

merrigold7 − Your brother is 21? Tell him to cook his own food!

EmotionalPilot4811 − NTA. Are your parents serious? No, sorry, you cannot just let racism go. Make it clear to both your parents and brother that racism will not be tolerated and that you will no longer be attending any family events unless you know that no r**ist comments or jokes will be made.

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Period. The next time it happens, announce that you are leaving and take your girlfriend to the car and drive away.. You need to set boundaries and keep them.

FutureJury8212 − NTA If your brother wants to act like a child then he should be treated like one. Your parents are enabling him and they’re not doing him any favors because one day he’s gonna meet the wrong one and his “punishment” will be far worse than eating bland food.

Hopwater − Why is he begging you for food? Don't cook for your brother. He's a d**k and he crossed a line. Feeding your brother hot dogs won't change the fact that he is a r**ist. When his balls drop, maybe he will realize this is the kind of behavior that gets you punched in the face. NTA.

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PsychologicalSoft579 − NTA. Hopefully, your brother learned his lesson because racism can't be excused.

These Reddit quips are sizzling, but do they capture the full flavor? Was the man’s culinary comeback a masterstroke, or should he have served a different consequence?

This tale of a BBQ gone wrong is a spicy mix of family loyalty, cultural pride, and kitchen revenge. The man’s bland-food punishment for his brother’s racist remarks was a bold move to defend his girlfriend, cheered by Reddit but questioned by his parents. Yet the silence from his brother begs the question: did the lesson stick? What would you do when family crosses a cultural line? Drop your stories and weigh in on this flavorful feud!

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