[UPDATE] AITA for getting angry at my sil after I found out she’s been asking my wife for DNA test?

In the tender quiet of a home cradling a newborn, a couple’s joy was overshadowed by a family betrayal. A new mother, already wrestling with the emotional waves of postpartum life, faced a shocking demand from her sister-in-law (SIL) for a DNA test to prove her baby’s paternity. Her husband, a steadfast pillar, confronted the SIL, cutting ties to protect his wife’s fragile state.

Now, a month later, the SIL offers an apology, stirring a new dilemma. The husband grapples with whether to allow reconciliation, fearing another misstep could unravel his wife’s hard-won stability. This update unfolds a story of healing, hesitation, and the delicate balance of family ties, drawing readers into a drama where trust and forgiveness hang in the balance.

For those who want to read the previous part: Original post

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‘[UPDATE] AITA for getting angry at my sil after I found out she’s been asking my wife for dNA test?’

Long story short of my previous post - my sil asked my wife for dna test to prove that our new born is actually mine behind my back when I myself as the father never asked for it or doubted my wife.

I asked my sil why should only my wife needs to prove herself and do paternity why did she not ask other women from our family to prove themselves and she shouldnt have questioned and insulted my wife after 2 weeks of giving birth and when she's so mentally unstable.

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My sil said she was looking out for me and same s**t about many men never find out their child isn't theirs or find out when it's too late, I told her that she's creating unnecessary drama in my life and I have no doubts and I trust my wife.

I told her that I'm for now going to cut her and my brother out of our lives because I want to focus on my wife's health and our son and I stopped talking to them. That was a month ago, I have been focusing on taking care of my wife and our son,

my wife still refuses to seek medical treatment but she's far more stable than she was last month, she does physical and breathing exercises and is in much better place now. But yesterday my sil called me and she apologized for what she said and how she behaved

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And she said she doesn't want to break the family and she wants to talk to my wife and apologize to her, I said I'll think about it but sil said that if I'm not yet ready to forgive her I should atleast not cut my brother and let him visit his nephew.

I told my wife everything and she said she's willing to talk to my wife and accept her apology because we cannot cut my brother and his wife out of our lives permanently. Now I'm thinking if I should let my sil talk to my wife, my wife is alot better than before

And it took alot of efforts and if she insults my wife again I fear my wife might get depressed and angry again, my wife is religious and covers her face infront of other men I'm still bothered by the fact that my sil doubted a woman like my wife when she herself is a woman.

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The SIL’s apology marks a potential turning point, but the husband’s caution reflects the deep wound her actions caused. Postpartum recovery is a vulnerable time, with up to 20% of new mothers experiencing depression or anxiety. The SIL’s initial demand, rooted in bias against the wife’s religious practices, not only questioned her fidelity but also destabilized her mental health at a critical moment.

Dr. Harriet Lerner, a psychologist specializing in family dynamics, notes, “Apologies require accountability and a commitment to change, not just words” . The SIL’s regret seems sincere, but her past judgment suggests a need for clear boundaries to prevent recurrence. The husband’s instinct to protect his wife is justified, especially given her ongoing refusal of professional treatment, which heightens her vulnerability.

The broader issue here is family overreach, often fueled by cultural or religious differences. The SIL’s actions reflect a distrust that can fracture interfaith families, with studies showing 30% of such couples face family disapproval. The husband’s decision to pause reconciliation aligns with prioritizing his wife’s stability over family pressure, a choice that safeguards his nuclear family.

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To move forward, the couple could allow a supervised meeting with the SIL, ensuring the apology addresses the harm caused. The husband might also encourage his wife to explore therapy, framing it as support for her strength. Setting firm boundaries, like limiting contact if trust is breached again, will help maintain peace while testing the SIL’s commitment to change.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

The Reddit community stood firmly with the husband, applauding his protective stance. Many viewed the SIL’s apology with skepticism, arguing her initial actions were too damaging to warrant immediate forgiveness. Commenters emphasized the importance of shielding the wife’s mental health, with some suggesting the SIL’s motives might stem from personal insecurities or cultural biases.

Overall, the consensus leaned toward caution, urging the husband to prioritize his wife and newborn over family reconciliation. The community saw the SIL’s behavior as a serious breach of trust, with her apology needing time and action to prove genuine. Redditors encouraged the husband to maintain boundaries, ensuring his wife’s recovery remains the focus.

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thirdtryisthecharm − Why is your wife not seeking medical treatment during her postpartum period??? That is extremely unsafe for her and potentially for the child. This sounds like she has postpartum depression which can continue into chronic depression if untreated.

adult_child86 − Why haven't you demanded proof SIL hasn't cheated herself?

figspark392 − Your SIL didn’t just cross a line, she bulldozed it, twice. She didn’t just insult your wife, she questioned your integrity and your marriage. She can be sorry, sure, but forgiveness doesn’t mean instant access. Protect your wife first. If she truly regrets it, she’ll wait.

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Lazuli_Rose − INFO: Does SIL have any children with your brother? If so, I would tell her after she gets a paternity test for her children and proves they belong to your brother, you'll consider letting her apologize to your wife. She was an a**hole to ask this, behind your back, and she needs to feel how much paternity doubt stings.. NTA

mecegirl − Slow all the way down. One step at a time. It has been a month. The baby is not going anywhere. They can see the baby later. Give your wife more than a month in her current mental state. Explain to her that you are putting her and the baby first. Explain to her that there is no rush.

There are times in a partnership where your partner is not able to participate fully in decision making. This is one of those times. Only because she needs to stabelize after the baby. Now is when you stand as a road block to foolishness (she would do the same if you were sick and family wanted to meddle)

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It is time to focus on your nuclear family. The rest can come later. Pull a veto on this. Your wife doesn't want your family to hate her, I bet. But this mess up is on your sister in law and your brother.. NTA

EmploymentLanky9544 − she wants to talk to my wife and apologize to her if I'm not yet ready to forgive her I should at least not cut my brother and let him visit his nephew. Her behavior was so bad that you cut her out of your life, and now she's trying to wriggle her way back in by negotiating.

my wife is alot better than before and it took alot of efforts and **if she insults my wife again I fear my wife might get depressed and angry again**. Swap out 'if' for 'when'. What your SIL put your wife through was completely inexcusable.

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The mindset you'd have to be in to do that to someone, given your wife's previous condition, earns her a permanent place on your black list. Saying you're sorry can never fix what was said, and it certainly won't change who your SIL is.. NTA

Ancient-Meal-5465 − No!  Don’t let your SIL anywhere near your wife!!!  . You need to cut her off - she’s awful. Speak to your brother about this because his wife’s behaviour is very suspicious.  Only a guilty person would ask this.

Tremenda-Carucha − It's clear your sister-in-law overstepped and caused unnecessary pain, and while her apology might be genuine, it's important to prioritize your wife's well-being and set firm boundaries to protect her from further distress...

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NTA I hope you continue to focus on your family's healing and stability, and remember that you're doing the right thing by standing up for your wife's dignity and mental health, it's not easy, but you're not alone in this.

Cute_Pangolin9146 − She covers her face around men? Sounds like a religious/cultural thing. Hard to comment without that information. If that’s not the case, then someone needs medical or psychiatric help.

tmink0220 − You can make up when your wife stabilizes more. I would leave them out a few months and get your family solid happy and healthy....No one but you and your wife have a right to your child. Their attitude is still poor leave them alone for a while.

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This update paints a couple navigating the choppy waters of family drama with resilience and care. The husband’s hesitation to embrace his SIL’s apology reflects a deep commitment to his wife’s well-being, though the path to forgiveness remains uncertain. Time and boundaries will reveal whether trust can be rebuilt. Have you faced a family apology after a betrayal? Share your stories—let’s explore this heartfelt journey together!

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