AITA for demanding my son take his daughter on his family trip to Disneyland?

Family can be complicated, especially when responsibilities are unevenly shared. I got pregnant with my son Julius (28) shortly after my 18th birthday, and though I did my best raising him, life took unexpected turns. At 19, Julius got his then-girlfriend Iza pregnant, and together they welcomed Annabella into the world.

Over the years, I’ve been the primary caregiver for Annabella—even as Julius pursued his education and later married his girlfriend, Katja. Despite having two boys with Katja, Julius rarely makes time for Annabella. She adores him and yearns for his attention, but he only shows up once a month with a box of toys before disappearing back to his busy family life.

When Julius announced a Disneyland trip with his wife and sons, I couldn’t help but feel heartbroken. I urged him to include Annabella, thinking it would brighten her world on her birthday. Instead, he flatly refused, insisting the trip was just for his boys—and even went so far as to call me an a**hole for trying to control him. Now, I’m left wondering: am I really in the wrong for demanding my son take his daughter along on a family trip?

‘AITA for demanding my son take his daughter on his family trip to Disneyland?’

Navigating family dynamics, especially in blended or complex families, is never straightforward. Experts in family psychology emphasize that every child deserves to feel valued and included, regardless of the circumstances of their birth.

In this case, Annabella is a young girl who adores her father and longs for his attention—a sentiment echoed by many who believe that parental presence is crucial for a child’s emotional well-being. When a parent repeatedly neglects their responsibilities toward one child in favor of others, it creates an imbalance that can have long-lasting effects on that child’s self-esteem and sense of belonging.

Dr. Melissa Hartman, a family therapist, explains, “Children are incredibly perceptive to the love and attention they receive from their parents. When one child is consistently sidelined, it not only hurts their emotional development but also sends a message about their worth.”

In this situation, Julius’s behavior—only showing up once a month with a box of toys—may seem like a small gesture, but for Annabella, it underscores a painful truth: she is not a priority. The decision to exclude her from a special family event, like a Disneyland trip, only deepens the wound of abandonment.

Furthermore, the responsibility of parenting does not end when a child grows up; it evolves. While Julius now has a family of his own with Katja and his two sons, his duty to Annabella remains, regardless of marital status or household arrangements. Renowned family counselor Dr. Robert Klein states, “Parenting is an ongoing commitment.

Abandonment, even if unintentional, leaves a lasting impact. When a parent consistently favors some children over others, it creates a cycle of neglect that is hard to break.” The insistence on including Annabella in family outings is not about control—it’s a call for accountability, a plea for a father to recognize that every child deserves equal love and attention.

In many cases, when one parent fails to engage with their child, other family members—especially grandparents—often step in to fill that void. However, while this support can be invaluable, it is not a substitute for the love and involvement of a parent.

By demanding that Julius take Annabella on his trip, I was advocating for her right to be a part of his life, to share in the joy and experiences that many take for granted. It’s a stand for fairness and a reminder that family should be an inclusive unit, not one where affection is rationed out selectively.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

The Reddit community has been overwhelmingly supportive. Many commenters called Julius an a**hole for neglecting his daughter and applauded the demand for fairness. One user pointed out that, “A father’s duty is absolute, and it hurts deeply when he abandons his child.”

Another commented on the heartbreaking reality of Annabella’s situation, stating that the repeated pattern of neglect is unacceptable. While a few noted that forcing a trip might not mend the emotional wounds, the consensus is clear: Annabella deserves to be included, and Julius should step up as a parent.