WIBTAH if I break up with my fiancé after he said he won’t take care of me and our 3 mo old son while admitted at the hospital?
In a sterile hospital room, a new mother cradles her 3-month-old son, battling pneumonia, while her heart aches from a different kind of pain. Exhausted from sleepless nights and breastfeeding, she hoped her fiancé would step up during this crisis. Instead, he blames her for their baby’s illness, refuses to take leave, and leaves her to shoulder the burden alone. The sting of his words cuts deeper than the IV needles failing her son’s tiny veins.
This raw, emotional story unfolds in a haze of worry and betrayal, as a mother questions her future with a partner who chooses resentment over support. With her son now recovering, the weight of her fiancé’s actions lingers like a stubborn fog. Readers are drawn into this intimate struggle, wondering: can love survive when trust falters in the face of hardship?
‘WIBTAH if I break up with my fiancé after he said he won’t take care of me and our 3 mo old son while admitted at the hospital?’
A partner’s support during a child’s illness should be a given, yet this mother faces blame and abandonment. The original poster (OP) is stretched thin, breastfeeding every two hours and extending unpaid leave, while her fiancé prioritizes work and resentment over family. His refusal to take available leave and his begrudging attitude reveal a lack of partnership, while OP’s exhaustion underscores her need for support. Both perspectives clash: she seeks teamwork, he deflects with blame.
This scenario reflects broader issues in co-parenting under stress. A 2021 study by the American Psychological Association found 63% of new parents report relationship strain due to unequal caregiving responsibilities (source). The fiancé’s behavior risks escalating this strain into a breaking point.
Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, states, “In times of crisis, couples either turn toward each other or turn away. Turning away erodes trust” (source). Here, the fiancé’s blame and refusal to help signal a dangerous turn away, leaving OP to question their future. His emotional absence could foreshadow ongoing neglect, especially in future challenges.
Advice: OP should prioritize her and her son’s well-being, leaning on her supportive parents for now. A calm discussion with her fiancé, possibly with a counselor, could clarify his commitment. If he remains unsupportive, moving out may protect her mental health.
These are the responses from Reddit users:
These passionate takes light up the debate, but do they fully capture the complexities of love and parenthood under pressure?
This mother’s hospital ordeal reveals a stark truth: partnership shines brightest in crisis, but absence can shatter trust. With her son on the mend, OP faces a crossroads—mend her engagement or walk away for her and her child’s sake. Her story resonates with anyone who’s felt alone in a storm. What would you do if your partner left you to face a crisis solo? Drop your thoughts and experiences below to keep the conversation going!
The author has added an update to the article.
I love the Edit: just rest and take care of your baby. Figure out all the rest later, say in 3 or 4 months. I remember my newborn (1 mo) catching the flu. My older boys brought home from school and I caught it, and we had to take my little one to the ER with fever. They had to do a spinal tap on him, testing for meningitis. It breaks the heart. i recommend, with new mothers in this COVID time, visiting family wear masks, and help by food prep and cleaning. No one comes in with a cold. Maybe only Mom and Dad holds the baby without washing hands and a mask.