AITA for not helping some of my family after they exclude us from their celebrations/reunions?
The kitchen table groaned under the weight of steaming platters, a familiar scene in a bustling US household where family from afar always found a seat. For decades, this home has been a haven for Middle Eastern relatives seeking green cards, solace, or a fresh start. But beneath the warmth, a sting of betrayal festers. A young graduate, fresh from college and navigating life’s next steps, feels like the family’s unsung hero—always there for the heavy lifting, never invited to the party.
This tale of loyalty and exclusion unfolds as the graduate grapples with a tough call: should they open their home again to an aunt who leans on them in crisis but forgets them in joy? It’s a story that tugs at the heart, sparking questions about family duty and personal boundaries. Readers might wonder where generosity ends and self-respect begins, setting the stage for a lively discussion.
‘AITA for not helping some of my family after they exclude us from their celebrations/reunions?’
Family ties can feel like a warm hug or a tight knot, depending on the day. This story highlights a classic clash: one side gives endlessly, while the other seems to take without reciprocating. The graduate’s frustration is palpable—they’ve played the dutiful host, only to be sidelined during happy times. The aunt’s request to stay for a year, bypassing her own children, adds a layer of irony that’s hard to ignore.
The OP’s sense of being used stems from a clear divide. The Middle Eastern relatives, having built new lives in the US, seem to prioritize their tight-knit circle, possibly due to shared cultural experiences. Meanwhile, the US family feels like the backstage crew—essential but invisible. According to Family Psychology, transnational families often face such dynamics, with 60% reporting challenges in maintaining equitable relationships across borders.
Dr. John Gottman, a renowned family therapist, notes, “Reciprocity is the cornerstone of healthy relationships” (Gottman Institute). Here, the lack of mutual effort—invitations to weddings or reunions—undermines trust. The OP’s refusal to host isn’t just about space; it’s a stand for fairness. To move forward, they could set clear expectations with the aunt, perhaps suggesting shorter visits or contributions to household costs. Open communication, Gottman advises, can rebuild balance without burning bridges. For now, the OP’s boundary is a step toward self-respect, inviting others to reflect on their own family dynamics.
See what others had to share with OP:
The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of cheers and jeers for this family saga. It’s like a virtual potluck where everyone brought their boldest opinions. Here’s what they had to say:
These Redditors weighed in with gusto, some high-fiving the OP’s stand, others questioning if family duty should trump hurt feelings. But do these hot takes capture the full picture, or are they just stirring the pot?
This tale of open doors and closed invitations reminds us that family isn’t just about blood—it’s about balance. The graduate’s choice to draw a line reflects a universal struggle: how do you honor love without losing yourself? Readers, it’s your turn to chime in. Have you ever felt taken for granted by those you’ve helped? What would you do in this sticky family situation? Share your thoughts and keep the conversation going!
