AITA for thinking my husband was embarrassed by me when we ran into his old girlfriend while at his sister’s wedding?

Under the twinkling lights of a wedding reception, Anna’s heart sinks as she watches her husband, David, charm his high school ex, Julia, with compliments about her youthful glow. Anna, once the “gorgeous wife” David proudly showed off, feels invisible, her recent weight gain casting a shadow over her confidence. His flustered, half-hearted introduction only deepens her hurt, making her feel like a faded version of herself next to Julia’s radiance.

Back home, raw confrontations unearth David’s shallow embarrassment and Anna’s own reckless online flirtation, pushing their marriage to a fragile edge. Yet both vow to mend what’s broken. This story peels back the layers of body image, marital trust, and the sting of comparison, inviting readers to explore: how do you rebuild love when insecurities and mistakes collide, and where does healing begin?

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‘AITA for thinking my husband was embarrassed by me when we ran into his old girlfriend while at his sister’s wedding?’

Fake names. Me (33f) and my husband David (33m) recently attended my SIL's (36f) wedding. My husband and sister-in-law Emma had went to the same high school, and back then David had dated one of Emma's friends, Julia (37f). During the reception, my husband ran into Julia. She was fit, and very young-looking.

I on the other hand had gained a lot of weight. My fit and young-looking husband was very flustered talking to Julia. He told her that she looks 'so good' and 'so fit.' He said she 'only got better looking since high school.' Julia smiled. When I walked over to them, my husband looked so uncomfortable.

There was a weird delay before he introduce me to her. When he introduced me, his voice was low and he held his head down. I felt fat. Long before, my husband would show me off when he introduced me. Years ago, he would introduced me as 'my gorgeous wife' or 'my beautiful wife.' Now, it was like he was embarrassed.

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Back at home, I confronted David. I asked him if he was embarrassed by me because I look fat and old. My husband said he wasn't embarrassed and he said 'you're a mom.' It feel like an insult because Julia is single and has no kids. It felt he's saying that it's okay that my body is ruined because I had his kids.

Later that night, we almost had s** but he kept getting soft on me. The man who always wakes up hard, and who gets hard if there are certain actresses on TV. I'm not crazing right ? Am I the a**hole ?. --------. EDIT. --------. My husband is out of town so I talked to him on video chat.

I confessed to him something I did today that I'm ashamed of. I went to a different site and talked to men who like bigger women. One of those guys, because he said he lives in my city, I video chatted with him. A good-looking, younger guy. This guy wanted to hook up with me. Me and my daughters are sick with the flu, and I considered hooking up with this stranger from the internet.

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I actually considered for a minute about doing something that could cause me to end up being the topic of a true crime documentary.My husband said he loves me, and he swears on our daughters that he never had an affair. But he finally admitted that he is not as attracted to me as when we first got together.

He also finally admitted that he was embarrassed to introduce me to his ex. He said he knows it's stupid and shallow, but he wanted to impress his old girlfriend. He said that when he comes home tomorrow, he'll do everything in his power to fix our relationship. I promised him that I will also try to fix our relationship.

Weddings can amplify insecurities, and Anna’s experience at her sister-in-law’s event turned a joyful night into a crucible of self-doubt. David’s flirtatious compliments to Julia and his awkward introduction of Anna signaled discomfort, feeding her fears of being “less than.” His later admission of embarrassment over her weight, though honest, deepened the wound, while Anna’s online flirtation reflects a desperate grasp for validation.

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David’s behavior suggests a struggle with superficial standards, while Anna grapples with post-motherhood body changes. A 2021 study in Body Image found 70% of women feel heightened body dissatisfaction in social settings like weddings, often tied to partner interactions (sciencedirect.com). Anna’s reaction—seeking external affirmation—mirrors this distress.

Couples therapist Dr. John Gottman advises, “Rebuilding trust starts with mutual vulnerability and accountability” (gottman.com). David’s promise to “fix” things is a start, but both need action—Anna could explore therapy to address body image, while David might reflect on his values through counseling. Open dialogue about attraction and effort, like shared fitness goals or date nights, could rekindle connection.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

The Reddit crew jumped into Anna’s saga with a mix of empathy and fire, serving up a lively blend of support and spicy takes. It’s like a virtual coffee klatch where everyone’s got a take on marital missteps. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd:

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Debbie0357 − Time to think of your own self image that will please you! Sometimes we get busy with family and forget ourselves.

Pale-Cress − Doe a favor if you decide to lose weight or change your appearance do it for yourself not for your husband. In My relationship with my SO I been skinny I've been overweight I've been in between how he loves me and desires me hasn't changed no matter my size. You deserve that same love and respect

spearmint_butler − The correct way to introduce you then would have been ' This is my beautiful wife and mother of my child(ren)'. What a twat. NTA, he sucks.

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GellyG42 − NTA Aging and knowing your body will never be the same after children is definitely a hard reality, but your husband’s comments to her were very close to crossing a line. Yes he should’ve reassured you not just said it’s ok you had a kid but maybe you should concentrate on building up your own confidence, if you were self conscious and disparaging yourself before being intimate it can be off putting.

Material_Cellist4133 − Time to stop being a mom and start focusing on yourself. You can leave your children with their father while you hit the gym. You can leave your children with their father while you focus on healthy meals for yourself.

Fragrant-Duty-9015 − Kinda weird he dated someone 4 years older than him in high school… what kind of hot senior girl dates a freshman boy??

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MaximumNice39 − Work out. Take care of yourself. Build up your confidence so you don't need external validation from anyone. Including your husband.. The fact you think and said, I look old and fat, from having his kids, is an esteem issue.

AverySmooth80 − Lady. The kind of guys that frequent those sites are looking for women with self esteem issues to do the disgusting things their current or ex-partners have too much dignity for.

madempress − NTA, it sounds like he DID compare you in his head and handled it very poorly in the moment, mooning over how great she looked, not immediately introducing you, and then lied to you about it in an equally hurtful manner.

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You need to confront that face-on - not the letting his eyes wander bit, I think that's pretty normal - but the fact that he LIED. Is he still thinking of you and his family, or has his mind started to follow his eyes, is the other key question here. Separately, being a mom has little to do with your shape.

My older sister, may she stub her toe, just had kid #3 and is back on the treadmill still wearing mediums, and I gained 20 lbs back after birth because I let ebf hunger get to me and chose to sit on the couch over 30 m of weights too often (and got even worse after I went back to work).

There is no shame in looking at yourself in the mirror and saying you want to change what is there, and hopefully your husband helps you, rather than hinders, by giving you time without the kids and keeping the kitchen healthy. But if YOU like the way you look, if YOU feel confident and YOU'RE happy with yourself, that really is what is what matters.

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Hopefully, your husband really was just looking, but he owes you an apology for making you doubt your value in his eyes with no attempt at reparation, and for making a fool of himself to both you and his ex in public.

CumishaJones − Hang on so because you feel bad and he was away you cheated on him and somehow it’s his fault and he has to fix it ? Ffs , he should divorce you

Redditors largely validated Anna’s hurt, slamming David’s shallow behavior, though some cautioned against her online flirtation escalating. Many urged couples therapy, while others shared tales of overcoming body image struggles. But do these passionate takes capture the full picture, or just fan the flames?

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Anna’s wedding-night humiliation and the fallout with David lay bare the fragile dance of love amid insecurities. His shallow embarrassment and her risky online escape expose cracks, but their mutual promise to try offers hope. Rebuilding trust will take more than words—honesty, effort, and vulnerability are key. How do you mend a marriage when comparison and shame creep in? Share your insights and experiences below—what steps would you take to heal or move forward in Anna’s shoes?

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