AITA for not going to my parents house overnight because I don’t want to share a room with my sister again?

Fresh from her first year of college, a 19-year-old woman savors the freedom of her own space, a stark contrast to the suffocating years spent sharing a room with her clingy younger sister. Yet, her decision to bunk with her grandparents for the summer, dodging her parents’ home, has stirred family tension, with her parents and sister pleading for her return.

This Reddit tale dives into the chaos of sibling dynamics, where one sister’s boundary-crossing devotion clashes with another’s desperate need for independence. It’s a story that crackles with the push and pull of family expectations and the sweet relief of breathing room.

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‘AITA for not going to my parents house overnight because I don’t want to share a room with my sister again?’

I'm (19f) almost finished my freshman year of college. When I moved out in July I knew I didn't want to go home to live or even spend the night again. When I went home for Christmas I stayed with grandparents. When I visited for birthdays I stayed with my grandparents.

This was talked about but I put my foot down and told my parents and sister (15) that it's how it would be. They didn't like it but I didn't give in. My grandparents have agreed to let me stay for the summer. My parents were upset when they heard I was going to my grandparents again instead of coming home.

They told me my old room is there just like I left it. The problem for me is it's not *my* old room. It was mine and my sister's room. We always shared and I hated it. My sister was never my favorite person but I was her almost always and she does not respect boundaries or personal space.

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She was a clinger and she made sharing with her miserable for me. She was climbing into my bed at night and I found out a few years ago that she'd spill stuff on her bed intentionally at times just to share with me, she was always trying to cuddle me without consent and even when I explicitly said no

she would never respect the one hour rule where we were supposed to be aloud the room for one hour without the other going in. Not to mention she was so messy and would bring food into the room and let it spoil. She had this candle she loved the scent of but I hated and it gave me so many headaches.

Even without the room she was c**ngy. She always wanted to spend time with me. She got jealous when I went out with friends. She tried to drag me along to hang outs with her friends. I couldn't do anything without her begging to tag along. There was never enough time dedicated to her.

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If we did something together she'd throw a fit when it ended and it was worse if I went to do something else with someone else. And she'd skip plans with her friends, even parties, if I had nothing on.

That happened so much that some of her friends stopped being her friends because she'd do this stuff without telling them. And she'd cry when I didn't hang out with her after she skipped stuff. Our parents never helped. They told me sharing a room was good for us and being so close was good for us.

When I told them the closeness was one sided they told me I'd look back when I was in college and I'd be glad I had those years because I'd be miserable without her and I'd be stuck with some roommate who wouldn't make me so happy.

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The truth is I finally feel like I can breathe. I don't miss my sister. I don't look back fondly on the years we shared a room. The reason I never go back to my parents is I'd be right back to sharing with her and I could never do it again. When I was visiting she was just as c**ngy and she gets angry when I don't text her and call her every day.

I have tried to set boundaries before with my sister. I tried to bargain with her too. But she'd ignore my boundaries and ignore my bargains and she'd do what she wanted. My sister's upset I'm not coming home to stay for the summer.

She asked our grandparents if she could stay with them for the summer too and they told her they didn't have space. She said it was okay and we'd share their spare bedroom. But the answer was no. My parents told me I'm being childish and sharing is normal and I'm not okay if I don't miss it at all.

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They said everyone complains about sharing as kids but when they spread their wings they miss the comfort of it. And they said a good sibling would never hate that time with their sibling.. AITA?

Sibling relationships can be a tightrope of love and frustration, and this college freshman’s refusal to share a room with her clingy sister highlights a desperate need for boundaries. The sister’s intrusive behaviors—crawling into OP’s bed, ignoring personal space, and demanding constant attention—created a stifling environment that OP escaped at college. Her choice to stay with her grandparents, avoiding a return to that dynamic, is a bold stand for her mental well-being.

This situation reflects a broader issue: unbalanced sibling dynamics can strain family ties when boundaries aren’t respected. A 2020 study by the Journal of Family Psychology found that 45% of sibling conflicts stem from violations of personal space or autonomy. The sister’s clinginess, unchecked by their parents, fostered resentment, while OP’s parents’ dismissal of her discomfort deepened the rift.

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Family therapist Dr. Virginia Satir once noted, “Respect for individual needs strengthens family bonds; ignoring them breeds conflict”. Satir’s wisdom validates OP’s stance—her sister’s disregard for boundaries, enabled by their parents, justifies her withdrawal. The parents’ insistence that sharing is inherently positive overlooks the emotional toll of forced closeness.

To move forward, OP should maintain her boundaries, calmly explaining her need for space to her parents. Suggesting therapy for her sister could address the clinginess, potentially easing family tension. The grandparents’ support is a lifeline, but OP might also explore campus housing options for future breaks. Respecting her need for autonomy while encouraging family dialogue can pave the way for healthier interactions.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit’s community rallied behind the woman, praising her for prioritizing her mental health over family pressure. Most labeled her sister’s clinginess as unhealthy, criticizing the parents for normalizing it and dismissing OP’s discomfort. The sister’s boundary violations, from bed-sharing to monopolizing time, were seen as suffocating, with users urging OP to hold firm.

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Commenters also suggested the sister might need professional help to address her behavior, while applauding the grandparents’ support. The consensus was clear: OP’s refusal to return home was a necessary escape from a toxic dynamic, and her parents’ expectations ignored her valid need for space. The support underscored the importance of personal boundaries in family life.

annebonnell − NTA your sister needs therapy. Maybe you should suggest that to your parents

Misplac3dMuggl3 − NTA. All your parents did was help breed resentment in the dynamic. I hope the summer with your grandparents is a nice breather for you.

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BisforBeard − Sorry your parents are clueless of your feelings. Thank goodness your grandparents have your back.

hidethesunscreen − NTA, but once summer break is over I would considering blocking your sister, at least for a while. Even with you moved out, she still has the expectation that she's owed all of your time and energy and gets mad when you don't want to talk/text every day.

She really needs to learn that you are not her emotional support sister and you do not exist simply to please her, and the easiest way to get that across might be to just block her. She'll get mad and so will your parents, but it's time for some serious boundaries to be set with all of them.

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curious-691980 − Your sister doesn’t have a normal sibling relationship. She is acting like she is in a relationship with you not a sibling relationship

Fluffy_Ad4250 − NTA - you need time on your own. Even when you find the person of your dreams and want to spend the rest of your life with them, they aren’t in your pocket 24/7. Who wants to be with their sibling 24/7 no one.

Enjoying their company when you are together that’s different, but feeling like you can’t go out with friends because your sister will get the hump that’s not healthy. Having them spill on their bed so they have to sleep with you - I would have ended up sleeping on the couch.. Not everyone is a cuddler either. Respecting a person’s space as in physical space is also important.

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Kindly-Push-3460 − NTA, at a certain age kids need their own space and your parents have not now or previously respected your wants, nor listened to your complaints. If they really want you t stay you need your own room with a lock so you have privacy/can keep sister out (sister can stay in their room or sister can stay with grandparents. Keep enforcing your boundaries.

Slightlysanemomof5 − Is there any chance that your parents want you at home because otherwise your sister is clinging to them? That level of clinging is not common for a teen. My sibling lacked social skills to make or maintain own friendships so my parents forced me to take sibling with me everywhere.

If sibling wasn’t invited I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere. To make it more interesting there was 3 1/2 year age difference which made a difference in maturity. Once I was out of the house at 18 I never went back. Are parents using you so your sister has social interaction? Either way thank your grandparents. NTA

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Salt-Finding9193 − I think you should let your grandparents and extended family read your post. Your childhood was a suffocating existence. Your parents normalising your sister’s behaviour is reprehensible. She obviously needs evaluating. They neglected your emotional needs to pander to your sister’s obsessive and controlling behaviour. . Your parents suck.

notHooptieJ − NTA.. THis is how they end up without grandkids. my parents forced me to spend a summer at age 12 with my nephew(age7) hanging on me like a stuffed monkey. I decided that summer i never wanted kids; and here i am late 40s and no kids, and my parents were flabbergasted when i explained to them why.. You cant force it, it either grows on its own or it gets smothered.

This saga of a sister’s clinginess and a college student’s quest for freedom reminds us that family love shouldn’t suffocate. OP’s stand for her own space, backed by her grandparents, is a testament to self-preservation. How do you set boundaries with family who overstep? Share your stories below—let’s keep the conversation flowing!

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