AITA for not letting my boyfriend come on vacation with me because he’s a picky eater?

Dreaming of a vacation filled with exotic flavors, a woman planned a getaway to savor every bite of local cuisine. But her new boyfriend’s picky eating—limited to chicken fingers, grilled cheese, mac and cheese, and pad Thai—threatened to turn her foodie adventure into a hunt for familiar dishes, complete with complaints about taste.

This Reddit story captures the tension of clashing lifestyles in a fresh romance. Her decision to leave him behind, and later break up, sparked a debate about compatibility and the role of food in travel. It’s a tale that sizzles with the challenge of balancing love and personal freedom.

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‘AITA for not letting my boyfriend come on vacation with me because he’s a picky eater?’

My boyfriend has tons a food restrictions and is picky in general. He basically can only eat chicken fingers, grilled cheese, Mac and cheese, and pad Thai. Ive never seen him eat a vegetable. We just started dating a few months ago and I love him, but I eat everything and am very laid back.

I know I will have to plan my entire day around finding food he can eat, on top of listening to him complain that things aren't the same. Even if a restaurant does have chicken fingers or Mac and cheese, it won't be the same as what we get at home and I just dont want to hear about it while Im on vacation. AITA? I feel bad.

Food is more than sustenance—it’s a gateway to culture, especially on vacation. The woman’s reluctance to bring her picky eater boyfriend, whose diet is confined to a handful of comfort foods, stems from a valid concern: his restrictions could hijack her trip. Planning meals around his needs, coupled with his complaints about unfamiliar flavors, risks dimming her travel joy. Her choice to exclude him, and ultimately end the relationship, reflects a deeper issue of mismatched lifestyles.

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This scenario highlights a common relationship hurdle: differing values around food and adventure. A 2022 survey by YouGov  found that 47% of couples cite food preferences as a source of tension, particularly during travel. The boyfriend’s pickiness, if not medically driven, suggests inflexibility, which clashes with the woman’s open-minded approach to dining.

Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman notes, “Compatibility in daily habits, like food, shapes long-term harmony”. Gottman’s insight underscores the woman’s decision—her boyfriend’s unwillingness to adapt could foreshadow broader conflicts. Her breakup, prompted by Reddit’s perspective, prioritizes her freedom to explore without compromise.

To navigate such differences, couples should discuss expectations before travel, setting boundaries like independent meal plans. The boyfriend could have taken responsibility for his food choices, exploring options quietly. For future relationships, the woman might seek partners who share her culinary curiosity. Openness to new experiences, especially in travel, keeps connections vibrant and aligned.

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Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit’s community sided with the woman, calling her boyfriend’s picky eating a red flag for travel compatibility. Many shared stories of trips ruined by partners who refused new foods, emphasizing that food is central to cultural exploration. The boyfriend’s limited diet and complaints were seen as immature, with users applauding her breakup decision as a step toward freedom.

Some urged clarity on whether his pickiness was medical, but most agreed that, absent health issues, his inflexibility was a burden. Commenters stressed that partners should respect each other’s travel goals, not dictate them. The consensus was clear: her vacation deserved to be a culinary adventure, not a catering mission, and her choice reflected self-respect.

Savvy-Snail4112 − NTA.. told myself NEVER again with the picky eaters after dating a chicken finger man lol 🚩 somehow it will always be you who is expected to plan the meals too 😩 I understand not liking some things but unless this is medical/allergies there’s a point where this is just stuck up and annoying as a fully grown man.

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WestCovina1234 − 'He basically can only eat chicken fingers, grilled cheese, Mac and cheese, and pad Thai.' He \*can\* only eat those things or he will only eat those things? I have a friend with an unusual disease such that she literally can only eat three things, but that's a fair cry from being a super picky eater who \*will\* only eat a few things.

Assuming from your description that this is a pickiness issue, not a health issue, I wouldn't take him with me either. He would definitely bring down your enjoyment in the trip.. NTA..  

Chance-Animal1856 − you just started dating him...... but you love him. you just started dating him...... and think maybe he should go on your vacation? slow down just a bit maybe? doesn't sounds like you're even sure yet you like him

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fsuman110 − Info. Does he even want to go? Have you told him the reason why you don’t want him to go? If so, how’d he react? Does your boyfriend acknowledge his childish eating habits and would he be adult enough to know better than to constantly complain while abroad if you talked to him about it beforehand?

As an anecdote, I live in Japan and had a friend and her boyfriend come visit me. My friend’s boyfriend was also a very picky eater was insufferable during their visit and essentially ruined the trip for my friend.

He couldn’t even eat yakisoba because it had bits of cooked cabbage in it, so they ended up going to KFC, McDonald’s and Mister Donuts every single day they were here. No sushi, no okonomiyaki, no curry, no ramen, no tonkatsu.

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Can you imagine coming all the way to Japan and not being able to enjoy that stuff. My friend was so f**king pissed and they ended up breaking up shortly after they got back to the U.S.

SubstantialNature368 − So ... you love him in between meals?

Lost_Needleworker285 − You shouldn't be dating him if his diet is a problem for you.

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Fragrant-Sail-6002 − Oof yeah that's a no from me. I travel a lot and I could never date a picky eater. As someone who's been to Turkey twice, I can guarantee that they don't have grilled cheese. You're right about wasting time finding food for him even though it sounds like a preference, not a real dietary restrictions.

And this might just be me..... But if I were to take partner to Italy and they ordered just a plain cheese pizza, or to Thailand and they ordered buttered noodles, or to Spain and they ordered white rice... I would be humiliated to be seen as 'ugly Americans' who don't appreciate culture. Food is culture.

If this is an issue, this isn't the relationship for you. My partner had not traveled internationally and had a relatively simple diet when we met. But he was super open to trying new foods and ended up liking most of them. We traveled to Portugal and got a tasting menu that included Sardine Flan... Not only did we both try it, we both LOVED it.

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If you stay with him, you'll never try a tasting menu with him for the rest of your life. And no vegetables? Immiturity like that gives me the ick. Live your life girl. Be free. Don't be burdened by his b**lshit.

Queasy-Ad4289 − Info: Does he expect you to plan everything around him? My brother is a very picky eater but he never makes it anyone elses problem. He will accompany people to restaurants where he can't eat anything, and just get his own food at a supermarket later. It's not that hard to find a few basic food items, even in a different country.

MadCatter32 − Info: Why do you keep saying you will have to make all of the restaurant decisions and find food for him to eat? As a picky eater, that should be his job to manage for himself.. As for the complaining, have you considered talking to him?

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I have ARFID, and believe me, it's hard. Support and sympathy go a long way. However, I also know that I can't be complaining at every restaurant and anywhere there is food. I do what I can, eat what I can. I take responsibility. I'd be hurt if people left me out because of my eating habits, especially someone who claims to love me.

Talk to him about the complaining. Tell him he needs to be responsible for finding food he can eat. But also, don't be judgemental about his eating habits. Be supportive.. If you're not willing to do any of this, then you shouldn't be in a relationship with him.

Big-Okie − Aint gonna lie, the pad Thai was definitely a surprise. Kinda like saying, 'My three favorite sports are American football, rugby, and rhythmic dance.' Not that there's anything wrong with dance, it would be an interesting 'outlier'.

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This story of a picky eater left behind shows how food can make or break a trip—and a relationship. The woman’s choice to prioritize her vacation’s joy, and ultimately her independence, speaks to the power of compatibility. How do you handle clashing food habits with a partner? Share your experiences below—let’s keep the conversation cooking!

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