AITAH for telling my Mother in law that if my husband and I shorten our 4 day trip to a 2 day trip she owes us 400$?
Imagine finally planning a long-overdue getaway with your spouse, only for family drama to threaten the escape. For a 29-year-old woman, a full-time caregiver for her husband’s grandmother, a 4-day anniversary trip was a rare chance to recharge. Living with her mother-in-law (MIL) and managing daily care routines, she juggled love and duty, hoping for a brief respite after a year of marriage without a honeymoon.
But when her MIL backtracked on covering caregiving duties and asked to cut the trip to 2 days, the plan unraveled. Facing a $800 non-refunded booking, the woman asked for $400 to cover half the loss, sparking a chilly standoff. This Reddit tale dives into the grind of caregiving, family expectations, and standing up for your needs—was she out of line, or just protecting her peace?
‘AITAH for telling my Mother in law that if my husband and I shorten our 4 day trip to a 2 day trip she owes us 400$?’
Caregiving is a marathon, not a sprint, and this woman’s clash with her MIL shows how quickly burnout can flare. Her demand for $400 wasn’t just about money—it was a stand for her time and emotional energy. When her MIL reneged on covering for their trip, it disrupted a rare break, highlighting the tension between family duty and personal needs.
Caregiving stress is real. A 2022 AARP study found that 36% of family caregivers report high emotional strain, often exacerbated by lack of support. Here, the woman’s role as primary caregiver, despite PSW help, left her stretched thin, while her MIL’s reluctance to step up—citing discomfort with tasks—piled on pressure.
Dr. Barry J. Jacobs, a caregiving expert, notes, “Caregivers often feel trapped by family expectations, but setting boundaries is critical to avoid resentment” . The woman’s request for compensation was a boundary, signaling her trip’s value. Her MIL’s eye-rolling response suggests resistance to accountability, a common family friction point.
This story reflects a broader issue: caregivers need breaks, and families must share the load. She could explore respite care options, as Reddit suggested, or set firmer expectations with her MIL.
Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:
Reddit came through with a mix of empathy and spice, cheering the woman’s stand while roasting her MIL’s attitude. From practical tips to fiery calls for boundaries, the comments were a lively bunch. Here’s what they said:
![[Reddit User] − You’re torturing yourself. This is ultimately on your husband, and you don’t have to help. Your help should be considered a bonus to your husband. They would be glad I am not in your shoes. I would send Grandma to the old persons home, also send MIL to the old persons home since she can’t control herself, and then go on a full 4-day honeymoon without the stress of having your MIL call you every time Grandma shits her pants.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/192531c-09.png)
These Reddit takes are bold, but do they nail the issue or just stir the drama? One thing’s clear: this caregiver’s struggle has folks rallying behind her.
This tale of a shortened trip and a $400 demand shows caregiving’s toll and the power of standing firm. The woman’s clash with her MIL isn’t just about money—it’s about respect for her time and sacrifices. With family duties pulling her in every direction, her boundary was a cry for balance. What would you do in her shoes? Share your thoughts—have you ever had to draw a line with family over caregiving?
