AITA for canceling one of two hotel rooms?

In the flurry of planning a cruise adventure, a man’s cost-saving decision stirred up trouble. With one friend dropping out, he canceled a hotel room, leaving him, his girlfriend, and another friend to share a single room for a night. His girlfriend’s unease was brushed aside in favor of saving $120, turning a practical choice into a relationship rift.

Shared on Reddit, this story captures the tension between frugality and sensitivity. The man’s logic clashed with his girlfriend’s comfort, pulling readers into a relatable drama about compromise, communication, and the hidden costs of “saving a buck.”

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‘AITA for canceling one of two hotel rooms?’

My girlfriend and I are going on a cruise soon with several of our friends. We are driving to Florida with two of them and staying at a local hotel the night before we board the ship. About 4 days before we are set to leave, one of our travel mates finds out he will not be able to go with us, so now it's down to 3 of us:

My girlfriend, myself, and my friend who I have known for 20 years and have went on many cruises with. I am the one who booked the hotel rooms, and planned to pay for the one my girlfriend and I are staying in, and I had also booked the other room on my account that the other guys would repay me for.

But with just 3 of us, we can fit into a single room with 2 beds now. I tried to call her, but she couldn't talk and asked me to text instead. So I texted her, friend can't come on trip, canceling one of the rooms. This isn't the first time this has come up.

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We had talked about this as a possibility before and I mentioned that I wanted to cancel a room to save money if this happened. Her response was, 'oh. 3 people to one bathroom is a lot'. I told her it was only for one night and it would save us $120. She said it sounds like she doesn't have a choice.

So I came up with the best compromise I could think of. I asked if she wanted to pitch in some of the cost to keep both rooms. She said it wasn't in her budget, but it's fine since she didn't have a choice. Just for reference, this cruise was originally booked for me and my friend.

When I started dating, he removed himself from my cruise reservation and got his own so my girlfriend could join. I am able to cruise for free using a rewards program and now, so is he. So she is my guest, and his guest canceled.. So AITA for canceling a hotel room so our group of three can share a room and save money?

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Update: For those of you who thought my girlfriend wasn't comfortable staying with two guys, you were incorrect. I offered to upgrade our room to a 2 bedroom suite as a compromise suggested by one of the comments, but she wasn't interested. She doesn't like the idea of sharing a bathroom because she feels like she would be rushed in the morning to get ready.

The two of us guys have agreed to shower the night before so she can have full access to the bathroom in the morning. I even offered to use the lobby bathroom so she wouldn't be worried about time. We will have access to another shower by 1pm. She says she is OK with this arrangement.

Relationships thrive on communication, but this hotel room snafu shows how quickly things can derail. The man’s decision to cancel a room to save $120 was practical, but dismissing his girlfriend’s discomfort was a misstep. Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, notes, “Validating a partner’s feelings, even when you disagree, builds trust and prevents resentment” . The girlfriend’s hesitation deserved more attention.

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The girlfriend’s concern about sharing a bathroom—and by extension, a room—reflects a need for personal space, especially with a male friend she knows casually. Research shows 62% of women feel uneasy sharing close quarters with non-family men due to safety concerns . Her budget constraints made her feel trapped, amplifying the issue. The man’s offer to adjust bathroom access was a start, but it didn’t fully address her unease.

This scenario highlights a broader issue: financial decisions in relationships require mutual input. Dr. Gottman’s work emphasizes that unilateral choices, even small ones, can erode partnership. The man’s focus on savings overlooked the emotional cost to his girlfriend, who felt her voice was sidelined. His compromise attempts came late, after tension had already built, showing a need for earlier dialogue.

For couples facing similar conflicts, experts suggest discussing changes that impact comfort or privacy before acting. The man’s intent to save money was reasonable, but prioritizing his girlfriend’s feelings could have prevented the fallout. Open conversations about budgets and boundaries can turn potential clashes into collaborative solutions, keeping the trip—and the relationship—smooth sailing.

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These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit’s response to this hotel room drama is a lively blend of support and critique. Many users backed the man, seeing his cancellation as a logical way to save money for a single night, especially since he covered most costs. They viewed the girlfriend’s pushback as overblown, given the short duration and compromises offered.

Others, particularly female users, sided with the girlfriend, emphasizing her discomfort sharing a room with a man she barely knows. They criticized the man for making the decision without proper discussion, arguing it dismissed her feelings. Reddit’s split opinions highlight the clash between practicality and empathy in relationships.

Ok-Calligrapher1345 − Just to be clear, it sounds like your gf’s budget is $0? Since she’s not paying for the cruise, or her current room, and paying $60 for an additional room would not be in her budget lol.

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Nervous-Avocado1346 − Is your friend not contributing to the hotel cost? Everyone is talking about your gf but not your friend. Like why would you have to pay for the other room anyway?

PracticalPrimrose − NTA. I would just remind her of the facts of the case. You could be more or less gentle than my script below. But I no longer have the patience for entitlement. “ hey I get it disappointing we’re going be sharing a hotel room.

But keep in mind Technically this trip was planned with me and my friend first. It’s not that you don’t have a choice. It’s that you’re getting to travel essentially for free because you were added to this adventure.

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I’m really excited for you to come and be part of it, but if it’s no longer working for you, I understand. If you would no longer like to come, Joe and I can just travel like we were planning to originally.”

dogmom87532 − NTA, but I would be uncomfortable staying in a room with your male friend if i didn’t know them well. Why isn’t he just paying for his room since his guest cancelled? Who was paying for it initially?

Trevena_Ice − INFO: Why isn't your friend paying for his room? It is not your fault, that his guest backed out, why should you cover the costs?

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browneyedredhead1968 − Nta. It's one night. She'll be fine

AnOutcastedAlgorithm − NTA! I'm trying to understand why this is so bad. I'm a woman in my 30s and I have shelled out extra money on trips with my fiancé's family planned trips where they have paid for hotel rooms for the adult siblings to share.

(Thank you, I appreciate it, but I want to hang out in my room and fart with my tits out if I so choose when I'm done socializing for the night 😂) But if fiancé and his bestie had a trip planned already before I was in the picture, they included me without me having to pay

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AND my love could save $120 if I had to sacrifice one night of sharing a hotel room with his bestie in it with us? F**k it, I'll sleep on the floor, put that extra money towards booze and food for the cruise!

Does she secretly hate your friend or something? Are you possibly made of money to where $120 simply ain't s**t to you? That's the only thing I could think of that would make her so annoyed about this.

GalaxianWarrior − NAH I understand her discomfort at having to share a room with your friend and I understand your desire to save money. What I don't like is you completely dismissing her feelings and expecting her to incur a last minute expense she hadn't budgeted for to feel comfortable

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(she is right that she hasn't been given a choice here and it's not her fault). As you pointed out in a comment she is paying for things this trip so it's not like she is being ungrateful.

Vegetable-Quality140 − the amount of people that missed the part where said he was paying for his and gf’s room, and his friends were repaying for their room is crazy. he’s talking about saving money by sharing a room since him and his 1 friend would split the cost of 1 room instead of them each paying for their own room.

WickedAngelLove − It's very telling how it's mostly female redditors saying Y T A and male saying N T A **YTA** I think once you invited your girlfriend to stay in a room with you, you owed it to her to discuss changes beforehand regardless of who was paying. You have admitted you don't require your girlfriend to pay for things and she only paid for extras.

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Of course if she is lower income, she's going to think she doesn't have a choice because she doesn't. Her choice are to pay for the room YOU were already going to pay for or not go and now that you said her friends are coming, of course she's not going to opt out.

But if I were her, I'd stay in one of the girlfriend's rooms for the night and leave you and your friend in the room alone. I think it's disingenuous to act like her pushback is invalid. She is not friends with this man, you are. She knows him by proxy and if you two break up, she probably won't continue to be friends with him.

It is absolutely uncomfortable as a woman to have to sleep in a room alone with two men, especially two men that she is not related to and one she only knows through 'trivia' nights. She is being nice because she doesn't want to say she's uncomfortable or feels vulnerable bc this will turn into a 'you don't trust my friend' convo.

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But if you want to disregard her feelings, it's fine. But I don't think this relationship will last because if $120 is worth all this, then imagine what happens when real issues and real money is involved.

This $120 hotel room saga shows how frugality can spark relationship friction. The man’s cost-saving move was practical but overlooked his girlfriend’s comfort, leaving her feeling unheard. Whether you cheer his thriftiness or empathize with her unease, it’s clear communication is key. Share your thoughts below—how do you balance budgets and feelings in relationships?

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