AITAH for telling my grandma she can’t wear blue at my wedding?

In a whirlwind of wedding planning, a bride’s simple request turned into a family flare-up. She asked her grandmother to avoid wearing light blue to her big day, hoping to keep the bridal party’s colors distinct. But when her grandmother bought a light blue dress, defying the request, tensions simmered. What seemed like a small guideline became a test of boundaries.

Shared on Reddit, this story dives into the chaos of wedding etiquette and family dynamics. The bride’s frustration, tinged with past grievances, pulls readers into a relatable saga of clashing expectations and the delicate dance of asserting control over one’s special day.

ADVERTISEMENT

‘AITAH for telling my grandma she can’t wear blue at my wedding?’

My (24F) fiance (25M) are getting married in June and we’ve invited our families, obviously. The colors we chose are light blue, tan, and navy blue. For a little bit of context, my parents went through a horrible divorce when I was 13.

My dad’s mom (the grandma I’m talking about) was VERY hateful to my mom and just outright disrespectful to her so I’m not her biggest fan. She’s always gone against the rules and done whatever she’s wanted to with no repercussions.

She enables my dad who is an addict and she knows it’s wrong (not important but just trying to set the scene). It’s a little awkward going to family gatherings on my dad’s side because I feel like the black sheep of the family.

ADVERTISEMENT

My sister (33F) is my half sister on my dad’s side, we’ve become closer through the years. My grandma called me about 2pm today and we talked about wedding stuff and she asked me what I wanted her to wear. I told her I wasn’t picky, just no white and no light blue.

Later today, my sister and my grandma went to JCPenny to shop. My sister found a dress she loved, it’s also important to note my sister is a bridesmaid in my wedding. They are wearing light blue. My grandma sees the dress and loves it as well saying it would be perfect for the wedding.

However, she meant for herself. Not for my sister. My grandma bought a light blue (almost white) dress to wear to our wedding. My sister told me about it, as she thought my grandma had bought the dress for her and didn’t realize that she bought it for herself (my sister is not the brightest bulb in the box)

ADVERTISEMENT

And my grandma picked the dress when my sister walked away from it because it was too expensive for her to buy for herself. I know this is my grandma, it’s not that deep, but it does upset me she chose a color I specifically asked her to not wear as my wedding party is wearing that color.

Since she has a habit of going against the rules and wearing whatever she wants, this doesn’t surprise me. We have recently thought she has been having some memory problems, but I’m not sure. I haven’t confronted her yet but I plan to. I just don’t know if I’m being an a**hole by confronting her. TIA!

Weddings can stir up family tensions, and this dress dispute is a classic spark. The bride’s request to avoid light blue was a reasonable attempt to curate her event, but her grandmother’s choice suggests defiance or forgetfulness. Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, a family dynamics expert, notes, “Older family members may resist rules to assert autonomy, especially in emotionally charged settings like weddings” . The grandmother’s history of rule-breaking likely amplified the bride’s frustration.

ADVERTISEMENT

The bride’s concern about her grandmother blending with the bridal party is valid—wedding aesthetics often hinge on visual cohesion. Studies show 78% of brides set attire guidelines to ensure a unified look . Yet, the grandmother’s possible memory issues complicate matters, suggesting a need for empathy. Her purchase might reflect confusion rather than malice, especially given her age.

This clash mirrors broader wedding trends, where couples increasingly dictate guest attire to craft picture-perfect moments. Dr. Whitbourne advises addressing such conflicts with open communication to avoid escalation. The bride’s plan to confront her grandmother is understandable but risks further strain, especially if past family tensions—like her grandmother’s role in enabling addiction—color the exchange. A gentle approach could clarify intentions without burning bridges.

For brides facing similar dilemmas, experts suggest focusing on key priorities and letting minor infractions slide. The bride’s hurt is real, but redirecting energy to the joy of the day might ease the sting. Weddings are about love, not control, and navigating family quirks with grace is part of the celebration’s charm.

ADVERTISEMENT

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit’s take on this wedding dress drama is a colorful mix of empathy and eye-rolls. Most users felt the bride was overreacting, arguing that a grandmother’s dress choice wouldn’t overshadow the event or confuse guests. They saw her color rule as overly controlling, especially given the grandmother’s age and possible memory issues.

Others acknowledged the grandmother’s defiance as part of a pattern, sympathizing with the bride’s frustration but urging her to let it go. The community framed the issue as a minor blip in the grand scheme of a wedding, with Reddit’s blunt humor highlighting the absurdity of sweating a dress color.

durtibrizzle − I mean. I don’t know if you’re the a**hole but you’re definitely sweating the small stuff.

ADVERTISEMENT

opinescarf − Do you think she deliberately chose a colour you asked her not to wear? If yes, maybe this is a bigger issue. Do you think she will do other stuff to annoy you at the wedding?

TemptingPenguin369 − I mean, the odds of someone thinking a grandma is a member of the bridal party of a 24-year-old will quickly be dispelled as soon as the wedding starts, when she's not standing with the bridal party during the procession.

And any time anyone 'breaks the rules' with their choice of wedding attire, they always end up looking foolish. Did you actually give people color swatches in the invitations so they won't come close to wearing your colors? This sounds like such a minor blip to worry about. YTA.

ADVERTISEMENT

RuralBohemian − It’s not a rule to not wear the color of the wedding party. YTA because you are taking the micro-managing to a ridiculous level.

LizaBlue4U − YTA for telling us to read the whole thing. None of this matters.. If you want sympathy, go to a wedding sub. They go crazy about this type of stuff.

Independent_Prior612 − Couples taking rules about wedding attire to this degree grinds my ass. Normalize NOT designing weddings to be Instagram Perfect. NO ONE is going to confuse Grandma with a bridesmaid. Rise above this and don’t let her get to you. She disobeys rules for the reaction. Don’t give her one.. YTA

ADVERTISEMENT

PrivateEyes2020 − ...because of course everyone will mistake grandma for a member of the bridal party. Frankly, I don't see that it's such a big deal if she wears it or doesn't wear it. You should forget it and move on. It will save so much aggravation, infighting, and overall stress. You need to pick your battles.

cuntakinte118 − I think this is less about OP telling people not to wear certain colors (which is a little controlling), but grandma willfully picked the like one color her granddaughter asked her not to

and further bought a dress she knew sister couldn’t afford and is waiting to reveal she got sister’s ideal dress to her on the day of the wedding. Grandma is definitely TA. I think OP is looking at the attire a little wrong, but not really AH level and that is not the subject of this question.

ADVERTISEMENT

Away_Refuse8493 − This story is convoluded. Did Grandma buy the SAME dress as your bridesmaid sister or a different dress? If it's the same, she's TA. If it's different, she's NTA. You can't tell people to wear colors, then walk it back. If you dislike Grandma so much, you shouldn't have invited her.

blawearie − Is this really a thing now? Brides dictate guests' attire? I have, like, one nice dress, because I work outside and wear dirty scruffy clothes so I invest in good gloves and durable boots.

If you invited me to a wedding and told me I couldn't wear the dress I have because of its color, am I buying a new dress? No. Clearly, if the color I want to wear is enough reason for you not to want me there, we're not close enough for me to celebrate your wedding.. She's an old lady ffs. YTA.

ADVERTISEMENT

This wedding color clash shows how small requests can stir big family drama. The bride’s attempt to set boundaries was fair, but her grandmother’s defiance stole the spotlight, leaving her torn. Whether you side with her frustration or think it’s a petty fight, it’s clear weddings amplify emotions. Share your thoughts below—how do you handle family quirks during big events?

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *