AITA for advising my daughter to dump her boyfriend because he said she got too sweaty and stinky while they were attending a wedding?

Picture a sun-drenched park, perfect for a mother-daughter stroll, until a hesitant confession stops the plan cold. Stacey, a vibrant 25-year-old, shrinks from the outing, haunted by her boyfriend’s cutting words about her sweating at a family wedding. Her mother, no stranger to the same struggle, feels a pang of protectiveness, urging her to reconsider a partner who dims her shine. What seemed like gentle advice sparked a breakup, leaving Stacey in tears and her mom wrestling with guilt.

This tale tugs at the heart, blending a mother’s love with the sting of insecurity. Who hasn’t felt the weight of a careless comment? Stacey’s story invites us to ponder the line between honest feedback and hurtful critique, setting the stage for a lively debate about relationships, sensitivity, and family bonds.

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‘AITA for advising my daughter to dump her boyfriend because he said she got too sweaty and stinky while they were attending a wedding?’

This Reddit post spills the tea on a mother’s advice and its ripple effects. Here’s the raw account of Stacey’s breakup and her mom’s dilemma:

I (47f) try to not be a overbearing mom to my adult daughters. One of my neices got married in March, and my Daughter Stacey (25f) had brought her boyfriend Nick (25m). Fast forward to last Sunday, I wanted to spend time with my daughter at a park.

She told me she didn't want to go, and I asked her why. She said she's afraid she'll get too sweaty and stinky. I asked her who told her that, and she said that Nick told her that when they attended her cousin's wedding. I know my daughter sweats a lot and easily builds up a smell. The same thing happens with me.

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I told my daughter that maybe Nick isn't the right guy for her. I told her that I have the same issue and my husband Sean (48m), her father, doesn't complain. My daughter ended up breaking up with him. It makes my heart to see her cry. Did I overstep ? Am I the a**hole ?

A wedding should be a whirl of joy, not a stage for body-shaming zingers. Stacey’s boyfriend, Nick, may have meant to be honest, but his blunt remark about her sweating and odor crushed her confidence, pushing her to avoid even a park walk. Her mother’s advice to reconsider the relationship, rooted in her own experience, reflects a protective instinct, but Nick’s perspective—possibly aiming to help—adds complexity. The breakup suggests deeper issues or a lack of communication.

This scenario mirrors broader challenges with body image and partner sensitivity. A 2020 study in Body Image found that negative partner comments about appearance can significantly harm self-esteem, especially for women. Here, Nick’s delivery, likely tactless, amplified Stacey’s insecurity.

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Relationship expert Esther Perel notes, “Words in relationships carry weight; how you say something matters as much as what you say”. Nick’s comment, if public or harsh, failed this test, justifying Stacey’s reaction. Her mother’s advice, while well-meaning, may have rushed a decision better explored through dialogue.

Stacey could benefit from discussing her feelings with Nick to clarify intent, or exploring medical options for excessive sweating, like antiperspirants or doctor visits, as suggested online. Couples therapy might help them navigate sensitivity.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit’s squad brought the heat, dishing out takes spicier than wedding punch! Here’s what the community had to say about this sweaty situation:

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blinkz_221B − NTA. You didn’t force her to break up with him you simply offered her perspective and shared your own experience. Ultimately, she made the decision herself, probably because Nick’s comment had already hurt her and planted doubt about how he saw her.

Honestly, partners who make you feel self-conscious about something you can’t fully control (like sweating) can mess up with your well being/confidence It’s telling that your daughter, once she had a safe space to reflect on it, realized she deserved better.

andthenwombats − I mean, you just gave some insight. You don’t have a full view of the relationship, this could be one of many ways he negs her. Or maybe it wasn’t and she jumped to breaking up instead of talking about feelings and addressing the issue. I’m going to assume it was the first one, or that they did talk and he wasn’t very kind.

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Regardless, she learned something, and maybe she just realized the person she wants to be with wouldn’t have said it so crudely. There’s a difference between you stink and ‘hey babe, it’s a pretty hot day let’s both go freshen up because this is gonna be a long wedding” or whatever because you don’t want her to be embarrassed about smelling bad around friends ect. ETA: not the a**hole.

clueless_mommy − Info: Did he just let her know she got smelly or did he do it in an inappropriate way, in front of others or something like that? Because ma'am, that's an issue. Especially at events like weddings and I'd be livid if my husband didn't tell me if I had body odour.

throwythrowthrow316 − Verdict is in the details. Some people can't handle strong smells, some people are noseblind. Your and her condition might be super severe, might be mild. Who knows how he handled the messaging to her.

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TwigHahn − I had that issue til I started shaving all my body hair. I still sweat but now I don't stink. It's time to help her thru this. Be her support. Show her she's still loved. Also try fennel seed to stop/show the sweating. It helps me. I just add it to my morning drink. You'll need a spice/coffee grinder to make a powder it of it. Shalom you're loved 💔

Radiant_Maize2315 − Hey so sweat on its own doesn’t smell. The smell comes from bacteria. So, and I mean this gently, if yall build up a smell quickly you should examine your hygiene habits. If those are all normal, please go see a doctor.

Inside_End3641 − People are so sensitive..He told her in private. Even you know she smells. Instead of finding solutions for this problem, you simply suggested her to find another guy with a lacking sense of smell.

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ChromeDawn − NAH, he was open and honest with her, he might have worried that she'd be embarrassed if someone else called it out. Has she seen a doctor about it? It might be a medical issue and there are medications and products that can be used for occasions like weddings to help.

wild_serenity − NTA. Side note, I’ve had the same issues my entire adult life. Hibicleanse, the stuff they give you before a surgery, kills aaaalllllll the bacteria. I wash my pits and underboobs (big titty club) every other day, and most of the time I don’t even need deodorant now. My husband has noticed the difference, too. I now have my preteen boys also using it and it’s made such a difference. No more onion kids!

MarkFresco − Ngl if u stinkin somebody needs to tell u, its not the end of the world bro yall sensitive as hell she could literally just try a different deodorant.

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These opinions pack a punch, but do they nail the nuance, or just fan the flames of drama?

Stacey’s story is a bittersweet blend of love, hurt, and hard choices, reminding us how a single comment can ripple through a relationship. Her mother’s advice, born of empathy, led to a breakup that left hearts bruised but lessons learned. Should a partner’s critique end a romance, or spark a deeper talk? This saga hits close to home, urging us to reflect on sensitivity and support. What would you do if a loved one’s words shook your confidence? Drop your thoughts below and let’s unpack this emotional rollercoaster!

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