[UPDATE 3] AITAH My parents kicked me out the house without warning.

A phone call with his father shattered a 21-year-old man’s hope for answers, revealing a gut-wrenching truth: his mother’s traumatic pregnancy and belief that he was a divine “mistake” fueled her resentment, culminating in his eviction and ongoing harassment. Now jobless and cutting off his parents and sister, he clings to his brother and friends, grappling with rejection and survival.

This Reddit update slams us into a raw tale of parental trauma turned toxic. It’s a soul-crushing story that asks: when a mother’s pain becomes your blame, how do you rebuild your worth?

For those who want to read the previous part: Original post, Progress, update, update 2

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‘[UPDATE 3] AITAH My parents kicked me out the house without warning.’

I had a conversation with my dad a few days ago. My brother and I talked him into giving me a better response than mom has her “reasons”. I just wanted to know why or if mom had any reason for saying what’s she said. And he finally told me. The story according to Dad is him and my mom were in their late thirties/early forties when they found out mom was pregnant again.

Which I did know and after reading some comments thought might be contributing to this whole thing. At the time they had decided that they were fine with just my siblings and were done having children. So it wasn’t the best surprise to them. But they didn’t have any option but to go along with it.

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Apparently the pregnancy was super hard for my mom. He said she was always in and out of the hospital. It put a lot of stress on my parents and they had to worry about mom’s life and mine. Eventually Mom began feeling some type of resentment. Dad even said that Mom started to question if the pregnancy being so bad was a sign God didn’t want her to have me.

And the birth was apparently also very traumatic for her. She ended up having to give birth prematurely due to complications and lost a lot of blood during the process. Which led to more pain and resentment. Dad said mom had a hard time connecting with me as a baby and that she said it didn’t “feel right”.

Then when I was a kid I had some health issues which added more stress onto their plate. So Mom eventually started believing that God had made some type of mistake and accidentally “punished” them with me. I want to say that hearing that did make me sad for mom.

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And I do feel bad for what she went through to bring me into this world. But at the same time I didn’t choose for her to do that. So to get blamed for it seems unfair. They had a decision to prevent this if they didn’t want it. And they actively chose not too. Or at least Dad did as in his own words he “doesn’t believe in contraception”.

He did also mention another reason though. Mom never wanted me to move back into the house. She had been waiting so long for the house to be empty already. So was angry at the thought of me staying at home once again. He said she always thought my reasoning was stupid and that I was overreacting.

Dad ended up convincing her to let me stay for a little while though. Though I think Dad believes the same. He just didn’t want to seem bad. I’m not going to go into too much detail about why I moved back in. But to sum it up, my abusive ex tried to literally kill me. So I had to find a new place to stay quick and at the time everything was too expensive for me.

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Plus none of my friends lived nearby then. So my parents were the best choice, and I thought they were fine with it. I’ve never seen it as a point of tension between us, but I will say that my dad’s made fun of me more than a few times for it. I assume that’s what mom’s view is too on it.

hat it’s a stupid excuse. So that’s what my dad says mom’s reasoning for all this is. And he’s as close as I can get to asking her directly so I’m going to have to take his word for it. After hearing all of this, I’m not really sure what to make of it. I wouldn’t say it helped, and honestly has made me feel a bit worse somehow.

But Im stupid for looking for an answer in the first place. I’ve been so stressed and confused and sad lately that I probably just would have done better accepting the woman may have hated me for no reason. But now that I’ve gotten that, I’m still cutting off my mom, dad, and my sister because she still won’t even listen to me.

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Her and my mom are still harassing me and I’m just not even in a state of mind to deal with it all anymore. I know I said I’m not the cutting off type, but I realized I’m going to feel horrible either way. So why not just remove myself. Obviously they’ve never wanted me around anyways. And a bit of an update on my current situation.

My friends have still been supporting me and helping me through all this. Which I cannot be more grateful for because if it wasn’t for them I honestly don’t know if I could handle all this. In worse news, my job let me know I was being let go. Which isn’t related to this situation at all but just feels like a kick in the face.

I don’t know what I did to p**s the universe off but obviously things aren’t going in my favor. So my plan is still to stay with my friend and get an apartment with another one once their lease is up in two months. But now I just also have to find another job.

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Anyways that’s the update. I’m sorry it’s so long but so much has happened and been said. I’m feeling absolutely terrible right now and I’m just trying to get pass all this. Hopefully in a couple months I can come back and update you with more positive news

Tl;dr: Dad finally told me some reasons Mom was doing this. Didn’t make me feel any better. I’m still blocking him, her, and my sister. Life sucks right now, lost my job, but I’ve had my friends supporting me and helping me through.

Also thank you for all the extremely kind and encouraging comments and messages everyone has been sending. Reading through the advice and people who have gone through similar experiences truly has helped. I couldn’t be more thankful ❤️.

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A mother’s belief that her son was a divine “mistake” isn’t just hurtful—it’s a toxic rejection rooted in unresolved trauma. The father’s revelation about the mother’s grueling pregnancy and birth, coupled with his refusal to use contraception, lays bare a family crippled by pain and poor choices. The son’s eviction, job loss, and harassment from his mother and sister compound the emotional toll, while his father’s passive role enables the dysfunction.

Parental resentment can scar children, with 20% of U.S. adults reporting toxic family dynamics, per a 2020 Cornell study. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, a trauma expert, says, “Unprocessed trauma often turns inward or onto others, like a parent blaming a child for their suffering.” The mother’s untreated pain and the father’s complicity created a scapegoat in their son, whose health issues as a child only deepened her irrational beliefs.

The son’s choice to cut off his mother, sister, and father is a vital boundary, protecting his mental health. Therapy could help him process this betrayal, while his brother’s support offers a lifeline. Exploring unemployment benefits and job opportunities is urgent, but so is rebuilding his sense of self-worth.

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Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit’s serving up takes spicier than a street food stall! The community jumps in with heartbreak, theories, and tough love:

Fast-Appointment-638 − Jesus Christ..... My heart bleeds for you son, You deserve better parents than a mentally unbalanced mother and a spineless father. Push yourself, do better and excel at life to spite them.. Was your brother present when your father was telling you all this? If so what was his reactions?

I truly wish you the best. I think the best thing for you right now is to absolutely cut off your parents, both of them, and your sister. Because she has no legitimate reason for harassing you other than that she wants to make sure she stays in your mother’s good graces. Luckily, you have loving friends who are standing by you, rely on them and work on building your found family.

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JupiterJayJones − People who “don’t believe in contraception” are so f**king stupid. Ugh. You deserve better, and I believe that it’ll only go up from here for you.

Oddly-Appeased − Wow, your parents really suck! They thought they were done having kids but don’t believe in using contraceptives? That makes no sense unless they planned to stop having s**. You didn’t ask to be born so anything your mother went through was NOT your fault.

ElehcarTheFirst − That's so messed up. I've heard of this before, and it always pisses me off. You are not responsible for what happened, your parents got pregnant, choose to continue the pregnancy, and then hold a grudge against you for their actions. I'm glad you're cutting them off. You're going to feel so much better eventually. It'll hurt at first. In the meantime, get a fast food job or serving job and keep looking for other jobs

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Their view of you being a punishment of some kind is…. I don’t even have words for that. If your mother resented your existence so much they should have used some type of contraception, aborted the pregnancy or given you up for adoption.

Crafty_Special_7052 − Sounds like your mom should have been in therapy along time ago and maybe she wouldn’t have had this resentment and would have had a better relationship with you. Just remember none of this is your fault. Yes it’s for your best interest to go NC with your parents and sister. Right now they will not help you heal mentally. Take care and focus on yourself.

Any of those options would have been better than to treat your child as a mistake. Also, your reasoning for needing to move back is not a “stupid excuse”. Would they really have preferred you ending up in the hospital or dead?. Stay safe and yeah cutting them off is probably the best option for your own health and safety.

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rocketmn69_ − Ask your dad, 'Are you sure that you're my father? Mom acts like I'm an affair child'

Apprehensive_War9612 − Sadly, I had a feeling that this was the reason your mother‘s been treating you like s**t. And I know that you feel worse, but I wanna say you think it was better to think she had no reason and now you found out all this information.

Flamingstar7567 − Sad to hear this is truly the case, I said this in your last update, but I'd suggest having your brother pass on a message that until your mom gets therapy and gives you a genuine apology, until your sister sees reason and apologizes, and until your father grows a spine,

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The truth is, she still doesn’t have a reason for treating you the way she has. You didn’t ask to be conceived, you didn’t ask to be born, you didn’t make her pregnancy hard, you didn’t make the birth, hard, and you didn’t make yourself have medical issues as a child. If your mother wants to be mad at someone, she should be mad at your father for refusing to use contraception.

owns up for the accident that started all this drama and also apologizes for not defending you more, you will remain no contact to protect your own mental health and peace. Reiterate that while your mom does have the right to be mad at the pain her pregnancy caused, she did NOT have a right to take it out on you and should have gotten proper mental health treatment years ago.

I truly wish you the best. I think the best thing for you right now is to absolutely cut off your parents, both of them, and your sister. Because she has no legitimate reason for harassing you other than that she wants to make sure she stays in your mother’s good graces. Luckily, you have loving friends who are standing by you, rely on them and work on building your found family.

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Make it clear that unless ALL these conditions are met, you will remain NC. No birthdays, holidays, gatherings, or even emergencies until they show genuine change and remorse. That if anyone asks about your family, you will tell them the truth: they resent you for being born, so you cut them off.

Oddly-Appeased − Wow, your parents really suck! They thought they were done having kids but don’t believe in using contraceptives? That makes no sense unless they planned to stop having s**. You didn’t ask to be born so anything your mother went through was NOT your fault.

That they won't be invited to any of your future milestones or wedding ( if you get married) or meet any future children you may or may not have. Finally end it by saying that this is not an ultimatum, this is fact and this is what will happen if they ever decide they wanted to make amends.

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Their view of you being a punishment of some kind is…. I don’t even have words for that. If your mother resented your existence so much they should have used some type of contraception, aborted the pregnancy or given you up for adoption.

And if they ever try to bad mouth you online, you will not hesitate to post all the screenshots of them attacking you and link these posts so they can't make themselves feel better for failing you. Then end by saying that you hope they learn to let go of their resentment of you one day, and become the family you should be.

Any of those options would have been better than to treat your child as a mistake. Also, your reasoning for needing to move back is not a “stupid excuse”. Would they really have preferred you ending up in the hospital or dead?. Stay safe and yeah cutting them off is probably the best option for your own health and safety.

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rocketmn69_ − Ask your dad, 'Are you sure that you're my father? Mom acts like I'm an affair child'

Then end it their and focus on yourself and hope they manage to change one day. Also has your brother said anything about cutting them off aswell? Maybe by losing a child they actually cared for will help motivate them to change quicker rather than later. Even if they do manage to change, I'd start with low contact, holidays, and birthdays to test the waters to see if their genuine.. Hope all goes well for you

Flamingstar7567 − Sad to hear this is truly the case, I said this in your last update, but I'd suggest having your brother pass on a message that until your mom gets therapy and gives you a genuine apology, until your sister sees reason and apologizes, and until your father grows a spine,

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Armorer- − Sometimes hearing the words sting more than the unsubstantiated thoughts bouncing around in your mind and I’m sorry for you having this pain on top of the car, housing and now unemployment situation. While you might be directing your anger at your mother I think your dad is behind all of your woes because he is the one who didn’t believe in contraception

owns up for the accident that started all this drama and also apologizes for not defending you more, you will remain no contact to protect your own mental health and peace. Reiterate that while your mom does have the right to be mad at the pain her pregnancy caused, she did NOT have a right to take it out on you and should have gotten proper mental health treatment years ago.

and forced your mom to carry on a miserable pregnancy that obviously caused her trauma. Your father then caused the car crash that led to all of this ensuing drama, your dad is an AH and he is the first person you need to go nc with.

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Make it clear that unless ALL these conditions are met, you will remain NC. No birthdays, holidays, gatherings, or even emergencies until they show genuine change and remorse. That if anyone asks about your family, you will tell them the truth: they resent you for being born, so you cut them off.

SnooWords4839 − ((HUGS)) Your mom really sucks. When you get let go, file for unemployment right away, it will at least be something, until ou get a new job.

That they won't be invited to any of your future milestones or wedding ( if you get married) or meet any future children you may or may not have. Finally end it by saying that this is not an ultimatum, this is fact and this is what will happen if they ever decide they wanted to make amends.

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And if they ever try to bad mouth you online, you will not hesitate to post all the screenshots of them attacking you and link these posts so they can't make themselves feel better for failing you. Then end by saying that you hope they learn to let go of their resentment of you one day, and become the family you should be.

Then end it their and focus on yourself and hope they manage to change one day. Also has your brother said anything about cutting them off aswell? Maybe by losing a child they actually cared for will help motivate them to change quicker rather than later. Even if they do manage to change, I'd start with low contact, holidays, and birthdays to test the waters to see if their genuine.. Hope all goes well for you

Armorer- − Sometimes hearing the words sting more than the unsubstantiated thoughts bouncing around in your mind and I’m sorry for you having this pain on top of the car, housing and now unemployment situation. While you might be directing your anger at your mother I think your dad is behind all of your woes because he is the one who didn’t believe in contraception

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and forced your mom to carry on a miserable pregnancy that obviously caused her trauma. Your father then caused the car crash that led to all of this ensuing drama, your dad is an AH and he is the first person you need to go nc with.

SnooWords4839 − ((HUGS)) Your mom really sucks. When you get let go, file for unemployment right away, it will at least be something, until ou get a new job.

These voices spark a fire, but do they light a path to healing, or just burn brighter with outrage?

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This update rips the veil off a family’s toxic core, where a mother’s trauma and a father’s inaction turned a son into a scapegoat. His resolve to cut ties and lean on friends and his brother is a fierce grab for survival amid job loss and betrayal. Can he rise above his parents’ rejection, or will their shadows linger? What would you do when family blames you for their wounds? Share your thoughts below and let’s tackle this pain together!

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