AITAH my dad crashed my car and my parents won’t let me use theirs.

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Picture a quiet suburban home, where a 21-year-old guy’s life just hit a speed bump—literally. When his dad borrowed his car for a quick store run, a missed stop sign turned the vehicle into a crumpled mess. Now, with his ride in the shop and work 45 minutes away, he’s stuck. His plea to share his mom’s car? Shot down cold, with his parents calling him ungrateful and suggesting a bike ride. Ouch.

This Reddit tale revs up a drama of family loyalty and accountability. It’s a bumpy ride through a son’s frustration, making us wonder: when a parent’s mistake leaves you stranded, how far should they go to make it right?

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‘AITAH my dad crashed my car and my parents won’t let me use theirs.’

I (21M) have been living at my parents house due to recent life events. We have a pretty good relationship but of course we have our moments. Well about a week ago, my mom was at work and my dad needed to run by the store. He couldn’t wait until mom got back so he asked to borrow my car. I agreed to let him have it as I didn’t have anything J needed to do right then.

Well about 40 minutes later I get a call from him saying he had been in an accident. Of course that scared the s**t out of me and I made sure he was okay first. He said he was fine and explained the accident. Long story short, he ran a stop sign and smacked straight ahead into another vehicle. Luckily, no one got seriously injured.

Except my car. Its busted up pretty bad. Without going into much detail the bumper, headlights, hood, and parts of the engine are messed up. I got my car in the shop and I’m still waiting on the estimated time it will take for me to get it back. Until then though, I need a car to get to and from work. And that’s where the problem is.

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See me and my mom have different work schedules but similar enough to we’re I could see us working something out. She usually goes in an hour earlier than me and gets off about 30 minutes before me. I figured I could drop her off, go to work, than pick her up. Well my mom hates that idea.

She says that she doesn’t want to have to rely on me to pick her up or get her to work on time. She said since she wasn’t involved in the accident she shouldn’t be affected by the consequences. I told her it would just be until I got my car back but she didn’t care. I was expecting dad to back me up seeing as he’s the reason I got into this mess.

But instead he just agreed with her and said I should find a different way. The problem is, there is no different way. There’s no good public transportation system in our town and we live about 45 mins away from where I work. My dad then suggested I biked to work which I quickly shut down.

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I’d rather not have to bike all the way to and from work every day when we could literally just share a car. I told them it was unfair for them not to let me use their car since dad crashed mine. Then they said I was just being ungrateful as they were already putting a roof over my head and I shouldn’t expect much more from them.

I have no idea where they even thought I was being ungrateful. All I’m saying is why would I choose a harder, more time consuming way to work when there is an easier option. Am I being unreasonable? I feel like at the least dad could convince mom to let me use their car since this is his fault.

But instead, he’s just sitting there agreeing with everything she says. I would ask my siblings to chime in on this, but knowing them they’ll just agree with my parents. So AITAH? TL;DR: my dad crashed my car. It’s in the shop for I don’t know how long. I need a way to get to and from work. My mom is refusing to let me use their car.

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The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

A car crash is bad enough, but when it’s your dad behind the wheel and your parents won’t help, it’s a family pile-up. The son’s request to share his mom’s car was practical, yet her refusal—backed by his dad—shifts the burden onto him. It’s a classic case of dodging accountability, leaving the son to pay for his father’s mistake.

Car accidents disrupt lives, with over 2.3 million U.S. crashes annually, per the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, often straining family dynamics. Dr. John Gottman, a family dynamics expert, says, “Fairness in families requires owning your actions, not deflecting consequences.” The parents’ stance—calling the son ungrateful—ignores the dad’s role in the mess.

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The mom’s concern about relying on her son for rides is valid, but her blanket refusal shuts down compromise. The dad’s suggestion to bike 45 minutes each way? That’s less a solution and more a brush-off. The son could explore insurance options for a rental or ask his dad to cover rideshares, holding him accountable. For now, he’s right to push for fairness, but legal threats, as some suggest, might torch family ties.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit’s rolling in with takes hotter than a car engine in July! The community dives in with support, shade, and some creative fixes:

Optimal_Side_ − NTA. Your dad caused the situation, he should be fixing it, bottom line. If that means letting you borrow the car, you should have priority because he is at fault for your original transportation.

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OldTurkeyTail − Was there a police report for the accident? And did you notify your insurance company - and your father's insurance company? (Some insurance policies will pay something towards a rental, and some car rental companies have lower rates for people getting their cars fixed.). And what are you going to do when you get the estimate for repairs?

SparkleLifeLola − Your mom is being totally unreasonable. Tell your dad he needs to pay for you to Uber/Lyft to work and back if he can't convince your mom to share their car with you. He created this problem, and he needs to fix it. Telling you to ride a bike is ridiculous and unacceptable.

[Reddit User] − They wrecked your car and now they’re acting like you’re the problem? That’s messed up. Ungrateful

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CarFinancial5440 − This is a tough one. Dad should obviously step up and take care of this.. Why isn't the insurance covering a rental while yours is in the shop?. Are you living rent free at your parents?. NTA.

MethodMaven − Your father is amazingly irresponsible. Your mother is unbelievably mean. Please stop contributing to bills & groceries in as much as it will cost you to take a ride share to and from work. Your parents will, of course, take exception to this, but you should stand your ground.

If you are in the US, read up on your States’ eviction laws to ensure that they can’t legally kick you out. You will also have to pay an insurance deductible on your car repair - your dad needs to pay that. If he doesn’t, again - take the money out of what you contribute to the household.. I sincerely hope you are able to remove yourself from this toxic living situation - soon. Very soon.. 🫶🍀

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PrairieGrrl5263 − NTA. Your mom's objection is that she doesn't want to rely on you to get her to work on time. Ask her to take you to work and pick you up. Yes, you'll be inconvenienced by the earlier arrival time but you will have arrived at work without having to take public transportation or ride a bike. Maybe you can start earlier and finish earlier, at least for the short term.

Failing that, honestly, your father needs to own his errors here. He wrecked your car; he needs to get you to work while your car is being repaired. Maybe he's got a friend who owes him a big favor. Maybe one of your siblings can do HIM the favor of loaning you a car.

Maybe he can come out of his pocket to pay for Ubers or a rental. You have grounds to sue him, as he has created a problem that is impacting your ability to work. A court case is the nuclear option, though, and I wouldn't drop that bomb until I was already out of their house.

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YuunofYork − This is insane. I hope your car at least is in your name so you have no trouble after getting it back. If not, make sure he transfers the title and then take him off the insurance. It's not going to work but I would first put it to them in terms of liability and use your mom's argument to justify your demands.

If your mom's argument of not having been involved and therefore not needing to contribute anything is going to hold, then fair's fair at minimum *you* should be compensated use of a car to get to and from work or the cost of a rental, *and* some form of monetary compensation for the increased premiums that will result from an at-fault moving violation and collision that was not your responsibility.

Even with the worst insurance I have to expect that's an increase of at least $50/mo on top of what you were paying previously. Possibly more given your age, insurance is very high for your age bracket. And then when that fails I would remove the spark plugs from both of their cars

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and make them miss a day of work and see how they f**king like it. How do they expect you to get money to move out if you lose your job? Soft-brained narcs. Is the distance really accurate? 45 mins by car is 4 hours by bike. That's an insane thing to say unless there's a mistake there.

minionofthenight − NTA. If dad won’t take accountability then he can pay for a hire car for you to use. He at fault crashed your car so he should be the one put out not you.

Quiet-Hamster6509 − Since you're 21, now is a good time to lay down the expectations regarding your vehicle: 1) He is responsible for paying for all of the repairs or replacement of the vehicle if they rule it a write off.. 2) He is responsible for paying for any fines associated with the crash.. 3) He is responsible for paying for any medical expenses the other party incurs due to the accident.

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4) He is responsible for providing/compensating you for any costs incurred for transport relating to work until your car is usable again. It is highly likely he is going to refuse paying for the damages, putting it back on you about the costs of letting you stay for free... but it's ok to tell him that you'll be seeking reimbursement through the legal system and you can move out to 'save them having to hosue you anymore'.. NTA

These opinions rev up the debate, but do they shift gears toward a real solution, or just spin the wheels of outrage?

This story’s a wild ride through family mishaps and stubborn standoffs. The son’s fight for a fair fix after his dad’s crash reveals the messy truth: accountability doesn’t always come with a parent’s love. Can his parents step up, or is he doomed to pedal his way through? What would you do when family leaves you stranded? Drop your thoughts below and let’s keep this road trip going!

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For those who want to read the sequel: AITAH my parents kicked me out the house with no warning.
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