AITA for refusing to reconnect with my siblings and my dad?

A quiet hometown weekend turned into a family implosion for a 22-year-old woman when she uncovered her father’s secret texts. Telling her mother sparked a divorce, but instead of support, her siblings and father turned on her, blaming her for the chaos. Now, their half-hearted pleas to reconnect stir old wounds, as she holds firm for accountability.

This Reddit tale hooks us with its raw clash of truth and loyalty. It’s a story that tugs at the heart, asking: when does family deserve forgiveness, and when does self-respect come first?

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‘AITA for refusing to reconnect with my siblings and my dad?’

Alright, so I (22F) grew up with a happy family, with my parents having a happy marriage, and I'm the youngest of four, with three siblings I always got along with, Nico (25M), Camila (26F) and Pedro (28M). I also got along with my father, but I was always more of a mama's girl, since she just understood me more and is really the sweetest and most caring person I know.

Anyway, to get to the point, two years ago, I was back in my hometown for the weekend for my mother's birthday, and I was using my dad's phone for some reason, and found texts between him and some random woman that wasn't my mom, texts and nudes I wish I hadn't seen.

I waited until my mom's birthday ended and told her everything, and to my shock, my mom kicked my dad out, filed for divorce and it was all a big mess. No need to say, my dad was furious at me once he found out it was me who told my mom (since she hadn't told him how she found out), telling me I ruined the family.

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I got really mad and insulted him in all the ways you can think, telling him he blew everything up by acting like a stupid teenager that couldn't keep it in his pants, and that he was insane if he thought I would actually let my mother live without knowing that her husband is capable of such betrayals.

My siblings also got furious at me, saying that of course one of them would eventually cheat, they had been married for thirty years, and I shouldn't have gotten in the middle. I was so angry I remember I just blocked them all everywhere and put my social media on private, and I started using my mom's last name.

She started seeing this guy of her age last year, and it seems like they're pretty serious, even thinking of getting married. I know my mom went low contact with my siblings because they kept insisting on her giving a second chance to dad and went crazy when they found out she was dating someone else.

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I didn't graduated from university just a couple of months ago, and I didn't tell my siblings or my dad any of that, only my boyfriend, mother and friends came to the celebration, but they saw some pictures of me on social media, probably posted by my friends or my mother, and they decided to contact me via our mother, and I agreed to a meeting, just to see what they had to say.

They apologized and told me they were just angry I had chosen our mom over our father, and I replied that I didn't choose our mom over him, he was betraying her and I decided to tell her the truth. They told me I still destroyed the family, and I replied that no, dad and them took care of all that, that I didn't do anything wrong.

The four of them acted like entitled brats and keep refusing to own the fact that they destroyed the family. Him by cheating and blaming on everyone but himself, and them for siding with a cheater and attacking our mother when she was facing such a betrayal.

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I told them they need to grow the f**k up and get a real problem, they can't throw such a tantrum over their parents divorcing. Once they genuinely apologize both to mom and me for everything they did and said I will consider getting in contact with them or not, but since it seems they're clearly nowhere near that, for now, they should just pretend I don't exist.

It's hard, because I do love them and miss them a lot, but right now, I'm hurt by everything they did, and they don't even think they were entirely wrong, so I think it's better if we stay appart. Now to my dad, I haven't even spoken to him ever since I blocked him. He has tried, texting me many times, but he's always trying to justify what he did and never owning anything.

I do get my father is a human and of course, he can f**k up. I see my parents as more than just my parents, I've fucked up so many times on my life, but there's something that differences me from him: I actually accept it. He does not, he still thinks what he did has some type of justification,

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he verbally attacked me, tried to manipulate me put all the blame on me and never once tried to actually apologize to our mother, never accepted that she has every right not only to know, but to not forgive him and to move on after what he did.

And I think all that is even more fucked up than the actual cheating. I just can't have someone like that on my life. He's old enough, he should know better. Anyway, I think I'm in the right for most part, but sometimes I do wonder if I have gone too far with all this or not. AITA?

Betrayal doesn’t just break a marriage—it splinters families. This woman’s choice to expose her father’s affair was a stand for truth, but her siblings’ and father’s backlash, pinning the family’s collapse on her, reveals denial. Their claim that cheating is “expected” after decades dismisses the devastation it causes.

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Infidelity disrupts about 20% of U.S. marriages, per the Institute for Family Studies, often leaving children navigating the fallout. Dr. Esther Perel, a noted therapist, says, “Rebuilding trust starts with owning the harm, not deflecting it.” The family’s refusal to do so keeps the rift wide.

She could demand clear apologies and consider family therapy to heal, but protecting her peace may mean staying distant.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit’s serving opinions hotter than a summer grill! The community dives in with support, shade, and a pinch of humor:

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mooseudders − You're doing it right. Being married for a long time has nothing to do with cheating. You should tell all their partners that they feel it's ok to cheat. See what they say then.

Total_Vegetable_2246 − You did the right thing. Your mother needed to know so she could make informed decisions. My guess is that at least one of your siblings knew about your father’s infidelity and chose to keep it a secret…I’m also guessing that at least one of your siblings is cheating on their partner.. And you are absolutely correct: you didn’t break the family, he did.. They absolutely owe you an apology.. NTA.

bookworm-1960 − NTA. There is no justification for cheating. Anyone who thinks there is, is a major A-H and is just trying to deflect responsibility. For your siblings claiming that it's normal for someone to cheat after 30 years, I wouldn't want to be their spouse since they clearly think its OK. Bottom line, your father blew up your family by cheating.

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If he was unhappy in his marriage, he should have gotten a divorce first. You did nothing wrong. You stood up for your mom and made sure she knew facts so she could make an informed decision. As hard as it is, unless and until they all apologize, stop blaming you, and own up to their bad behavior, it's best to continue LC or NC with your father and siblings.

Normal_Grand_4702 − NTA. Looks like you're clear headed. Your actions are justified.

Immacurious1 − I’ve been married for 30 years and I ‘d rather DIE than cheat on my husband~ your father is a d**che bad… keep on keeping on sis~ you are definitely NOT the AH. Best wishes to you and your mother~ hopefully her new boyfriend is amazing to you both~ 

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TheCraftyVulture − That 'everyone cheats eventually' mentality of your siblings makes me absolutely feral. Cheating is a series of choices, not a mistake, nor is it an accident.. You're in the right here. Take good care of your momma and of yourself. Congrats on graduating, too!

lonly25 − Your dead right. The truth is always the way to go.. Think about it. Do you need cheater and people who enable cheaters in your life? No your better off by yourself and your mama. Your father and siblings are facing the consequences to their actions.

Adelucas − My parents were married 45 years before mom died. I don't know about dad but I know dad was moms only partner. He was the only man she ever dated and both of them were utterly faithful to each other while she was alive. After she died dad tried dating but found it difficult as he always compared then to mom and decided it was unfair to other women so stopped dating completely.

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Cheaters will cheat, non cheaters will never cheat. Even in their darkest times neither of my parents considered looking outside the marriage. And that describes most relationships that have lasted decades. You are NTA. You have high moral standards and that's a good thing.

Your dad will find his life rudderless and sad. As the old saying goes, he who marries his mistress creates a vacancy. As for your siblings, as others said they are probably cheating themselves. While it's not your business, they don't get to blame you for breaking up the family. Your dad loaded the rifle, you just fired it.

chez2202 − NTA.. Everything you did was right, apart from one thing. When your siblings went crazy about your mom dating someone else you should have told them that they are complete hypocrites. They thought it was ok for your dad to cheat but your mom can’t have a relationship when they are no longer together? WTF?

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Lost_Preparation_835 − You're not the villain for telling the truth'. Answer: 'Your dad destroyed the family when he decided to cheat on your mother. You were just honest and gave your mom the dignity of knowing the truth.

That your brothers preferred to sweep everything under the carpet says more about them than about you. You're not the bad one for not wanting to rebuild a relationship with people who don't respect your values or the truth.'. Why it's good: It completely validates you and reminds you that being honest doesn't make you guilty.

These takes spark conversation, but do they fully grasp the weight of her stand, or are they just cheering from the sidelines?

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This story shines a light on the cost of truth and the courage to stand by it. The woman’s refusal to reconnect without accountability is a fierce claim to her dignity, even as it aches with loss. Can her family ever bridge the gap with real remorse? What would you do when family betrays your trust and expects forgiveness? Share your thoughts below and let’s dive in!

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