AITAH for making my ex’s current girlfriend leave my property by force?

In a sunny backyard buzzing with kids’ laughter, a 32-year-old mom scanned her son’s birthday bash, only to freeze as her ex strolled in with his uninvited girlfriend and her daughter. The girlfriend, fed a one-sided tale of the mom’s faults, had no invite, yet pushed past the gate, defying a clear “no.” A heated exchange ended with the mom yanking her out by the hair—unseen—locking the gate to keep the party’s joy intact, though her ex’s curses echoed.

This isn’t just about a party crash; it’s a fiery showdown of boundaries, co-parenting, and a mom’s fierce stand to protect her home. The girlfriend’s bold trespass and the ex’s push to let it slide ignited a clash, leaving the mom wondering if her forceful move went too far. As her son grinned with his dad later, was she right to draw the line? It’s a story that crackles with grit and heart.

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‘AITAH for making my ex’s current girlfriend leave my property by force?’

Her bold stand and lingering doubts spill out in a raw Reddit post, dishing the chaos of her son’s party gatecrash. Here’s her story, fierce and unfiltered:

Let me give you all a little background. My ex(36m) and I(32f) share a son together and we been separated as in broken up for a year now due to constant arguments. My ex met his current girlfriend I will say about two or three months after we broke up. And because of the stuff he would go back telling her she has this mindset that I was always the problem in the relationship.

And I’ll admit I did have my moments but then again so did he. But because of the stuff he tells her she makes it known that she doesn’t like me or have any respect for me and that’s okay because she can just stay far away from me with that kind of vibes because I don’t ever welcome negative vibe anywhere near me.

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So Saturday comes and I throw a birthday party for my son at my house. His birthday was actually on Thursday but we celebrated on Saturday instead. I made sure to invite a lot of my son’s friends, close relatives and of course his father(excluding his girlfriend and her daughter whom she shares with another man from a previous relationship).

I see my ex pull up and watch him get out of the car followed by his girlfriend and her daughter. They’re walking over to the gate that leads to my backyard but I stopped them questioned her attendance, reminding my ex that I didn’t invite her. He tells me don’t start and just let them through. I told him he can go in but his girlfriend and her daughter aren’t welcomed on my property.

She rolls her eyes saying “see this is why he’s not with you now you too damn immature you really about to deny a little girl access to a birthday party like how childish can you be?” I looked at her said “I don’t owe your child or you a darn thing. This is my home and I said you both aren’t welcomed here.” I told my ex that he can take them both back home and that he’s more than welcome to return to attend the party.

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This girl calls herself pushing by me with her daughter’s hands in hers, so what did I do? I yanked the bee by her hair forcing her out of my yard(no one saw). I walk into the yard closing the gate on them. My ex starts cussing me out through the gate.

I told him to take them home then he can come back to the party. He ended up coming back about two hours before the party ended. We were very much cordial then and thankfully my son had a good time at the party especially with his dad there.

This mom’s physical ousting of her ex’s girlfriend was a desperate defense of her home, but it treads a risky line. The girlfriend’s uninvited entry, fueled by her ex’s biased narrative, ignored a clear boundary, and her physical push past the mom escalated things. The mom’s hair-yank, though effective, was a heated reaction to trespassing, justified by some but dicey legally. Her ex’s return without further drama suggests he knew he overstepped.

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Trespassing disputes can spiral. A 2023 study in Journal of Interpersonal Violence found that 30% of co-parenting conflicts involve boundary violations, often escalating to physical confrontations when communication fails (source: Journal of Interpersonal Violence). The girlfriend’s attitude and the ex’s enabling set the stage for this clash.

Dr. Nedra Glover Tawwab, a boundaries expert, notes, “Enforcing boundaries is power; physical force, though tempting, risks legal and relational fallout” (source: Set Boundaries, Find Peace). Tawwab’s insight supports the mom’s right to exclude but cautions against force. The girlfriend’s trespass could’ve warranted a police call, a safer move (source: Nolo).

For future peace, she should tell her ex: “Only invited guests enter; let’s agree on party plans.” A co-parenting mediator, via the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (source: AAMFT), can set rules. Documenting incidents protects her legally (source: LegalZoom). Therapy, via BetterHelp (source: BetterHelp), might ease co-parenting stress.

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Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit’s dishing out some spicy takes on this mom’s backyard showdown—brace for a mix of fiery cheers and cautious side-eyes!

NaiveStable3581 − Sounds like the man is deliberately creating these issues. He badmouths the ex, then drags current gf to a party.. He’s the AH he has zero concern for his child.

No-Trust6726 − NTA.. You established a clear boundary beforehand, and they attempted to push past both the boundary and you physically. If the story happened as stated, I'm betting she forced herself into the situation, and your ex didn't actually want to bring them along. That would explain why there were no issues when he returned.

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TurbulentMuffin6142 − He likes having 2 women “fight” over him. Time to go to court! NTA.

Sure_Assist_7437 − NTA girl I would've dog walked her out of my yard! Absolutely the f**k not!

BraveWarrior-55 − Well now we know why this man is your ex. He truly thought it a good idea to bring two unwelcome and uninvited guests to his little boy's party?? It is regrettable you had to use force to remove her, but she pushed past you leaving you no choice. Hopefully they will both understand that you mean to keep boundaries and that you mean what you say.

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So be very careful in what you say to your son moving forward regarding his dad and gf. This woman is likely to try to blow up your household however she can and is best if you have nothing she can hold against you. Never a negative word uttered. Take the high road and best of luck.

ZodiacGem13 − NTA You told both of them multiple times that her and her daughter were not invited and she tried to force her way onto your property. You have the right to decline inviting anyone onto your property and into your home.

If he wanted to bring them he should have discussed it with you beforehand so that the situation was clearly defined prior to showing up and just being expected to be happily invited inside with not only 1 but 2 guests that weren’t invited or planned for. This all could have been avoided if he’d talked to you about it prior AND if she had enough sense to walk away when you told her not to come onto your property.

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If it wasn’t you it could have been the police because anyone on someone else’s property, after already being told they weren’t allowed, can be arrested for trespassing. I have no idea why multiple people on this post are saying YTA because why in the world would any person just say “okay you can come inside” after 1) they weren’t invited.

2) they were told they were not allowed on the property 3) SHE tried to enter YOUR property by force after all this was communicated. How is anyone going to sit here and say that YOU were the one who was wrong in this situation is beyond me. Expecting someone to be a doormat just because there are children involved is ludicrous.

NegativeTechnician7 − You did good. You tried to be verbally strong, but she pushed it. The amount of force was justified for the situation. She's a trespasser and short of involving the police you handled it well. Glad, when he came back, he keep his head and stayed calm.

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MainYogurtcloset242 − NTA. Your ex brought her there to start problems & you finished it lol...end of story.

persephonepeete − HA. NTA. she was told to leave and she thought she had rights in YOUR house. even if ppl did see you do it so? Now all the kids can learn about property rights and NO meaning NO.

kmflushing − NTA.

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These Redditors are serving bold advice, but are they backing a boundary queen or fanning the drama flames?

This mom’s story is a blazing tale of a birthday party turned battleground, with her forceful removal of her ex’s uninvited girlfriend guarding her son’s joy but risking backlash. The girlfriend’s trespass and her ex’s enabling pushed her to the edge, but was yanking hair a step too far? Can a mediator or clear rules keep the peace, or is this co-parenting clash just warming up? What would you do when an uninvited guest storms your space? Toss your advice, stories, or reactions in the comments—let’s hash it out!

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