[UPDATE] My husband left the country.

In a quiet home overshadowed by legal papers and a toddler’s laughter, a mother’s anger surges as she learns her ex-husband has fled the country, taunting her with a beachside photo and a cruel message daring her to chase child support. Once a partner who defended his mother’s striking of their 3-year-old, he now abandons his son entirely, leaving her to navigate a slow legal system and the sting of betrayal.

This Reddit update plunges into a raw tale of abandonment and resilience. As the mother pushes for full custody, her ex-husband’s flight and defiance raise a searing question: was she wrong to keep fighting, or is this her only way to secure her son’s future?

For those who want to read the previous part: Original post, update

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‘[UPDATE] My husband left the country.’

I have no f**king energy for context here, I'm so damn angry and frustrated. My husband and I are divorcing but this is so slow as you can imagine. He has been such a pain in the b**t about it and trying to put every roadblock he could think off. He got silent for some days, damn silent, like he fell off the edge of the earth.

Then he sent me a message of him, with his mom, on a beach, with a beer, and a caption that said in Spanish 'intente pedirme manutención desde acá jueputa' which translate to something like try to ask me for child support from here, you b word, and then blocked me.

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I'm so angry, nobody knew he left the country, his friends, coworkers, the girl that I have a suspect he was cheating on me with, nobody. Seems like he is at his home country and yes, he is from a coastal city where some of his family members still live in.

I'm damn devastated and feel so stupid for ever thinking this could ever be a good man for my child. I was fighting to get custody of our child only to run away like a damn smirking c**ard.. I wasn't expecting to become a single mother with a deadbeat husband at my age but here I am.

Edit: thanks everyone but I need to clarify a few things. I'm not in the US and my husband is not Spanish. I think I previously said he was from Latin america, I don't wanna be rude but Americans are not helping themselves by forgetting that there are other Spanish speaking countries than mexico and Spain. I had a long cry on my mom's shoulder and I'm exploring my legal options,

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which, yeah, things might I think be better from now on but the process will not be as quick as some of you think, in the real world the legal system goes very slow. Thanks again. I appreciate your support and that's why I keep coming back.

This update unveils a gut-wrenching escalation in a mother’s fight for her son’s safety, as her ex-husband’s flight to his home country transforms a custody battle into an international ordeal. His taunting message—mocking child support obligations—reveals not just abandonment but a deliberate attempt to evade responsibility, building on his earlier defense of hitting their toddler as culturally justified. The mother’s devastation, compounded by suspicions of infidelity, underscores the emotional toll of his betrayal.

Legal expert Dr. Barbara Glesner Fines notes, “International child support cases are complex, but treaties like the Hague Convention can enforce obligations across borders in participating countries.” While the ex-husband’s departure complicates enforcement, his documented admission of striking their son, coupled with this blatant abandonment, strengthens the mother’s case for full custody. Research from the Journal of Family Law (2023) shows that courts prioritize child safety, often favoring the stable parent in cases of documented abuse or neglect, which bodes well for her claim against his “unfit mother” accusation.

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This saga reflects a broader issue: cross-border parental abandonment. The ex-husband’s reliance on cultural stereotypes—claiming Latin American parenting inherently involves physical discipline, as seen in prior posts—is debunked by Reddit’s diverse voices and global trends, with countries like Colombia and Uruguay banning corporal punishment. His flight suggests less a cultural stance and more a refusal to face consequences, leaving the mother to grapple with financial strain and a sluggish legal system.

For solutions, experts urge proactive measures. The mother should consult a lawyer specializing in international family law to explore Hague Convention remedies or local asset seizures, as Reddit suggests. Documenting all communications, including the beach photo, is critical for court. Therapy could help her process anger and grief, while community resources might ease financial pressures. If the ex-husband attempts to return, flagged passports or arrears could limit his options.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit’s community erupted with outrage and practical advice, rallying behind the mother’s cause. Here’s what they had to say:

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smileycat007 − Go after court ordered child support anyway. The judgment will remain if he ever tries to return to the United States. Get full custody. Even if he isn't in the country. It is one way to prevent him from taking the child abroad.

You might be able to have his rights taken so that if you meet another guy and remarry, your new husband could adopt your son - IF that's what you decide you want at some point. Make sure the judge sees the photo of your husband on the beach, and when your son is old enough, show it to him too.

ForwardPlenty − NTA. Don't stop pursuit of child support. In most jurisdictions the judgment for arrears does not expire. Also your lawyer should look to see if he has transferred any of his assets to his mother or other relatives, that can also be attached to go towards child support.

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For instance if he gave his car to his mother to look after, that is clearly an illegal transfer of assets to avoid child support payments. So you may not be able to actually get the money from him, but as long as you have a order for him to pay, if he ever comes back you can collect.

Trailsya − Save what he sent you.. Go to a lawyer.. Going to another country doesn't always mean they're out of reach from the law.. Guess he might have assets where you lived together.. Anyway, go to a lawyer.

Stunning-Squirrel751 − I’m going to be honest, this is going to suck for a while but if he stays gone it will be easier on you and your child.. The assholes who stay around to make you miserable do just that. Do what you need to do, feel what you need to feel, and then be happy this jerk is out of your lives.

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Reasonable-Towel-214 − You should really check to see if his country is part of the Hague Convention. I'd be concerned he may remove the child as well. You should bring this to the attention of your lawyer immediately.. Also, I'd wager his friends, family and girlfriend knew exactly what he was planning.. As everyone else has said, still carry on with your child support case in the mean time.

Aegon2050 − Document Document Document. Give it all to your Lawyer and then to your son when he is 18. What a deadbeat loser!

lilolememe − I'd be so petty. When your court case is over for divorce and child support .... Get on social media there. We have Facebook pages for cities/towns here. Get on the page where his mother/family lives. Post his pics and screenshots of texts, etc. Let everyone see this deadbeat father. Watch his machismo shrivel when he is shamed publicly.. That's just me though.

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GorditaPeaches − NTA. But look at it this way, he gave you a slam dunk. Still get a CS order, forge forward with the divorce with evidence he’s moved, get full custody automatically obviously. If he ever comes back he’s getting hammered.

Pageybear13 − Go for the child support. You do not say what country he is from so i don't know the specifics but some countries allow extradition for child support as unfollowed court orders for child support usually result in criminal charges. Several of the South American countries have extradition treaties with our country.

Definitely save everything to show the judge what a pos he is. Getting full custody is super important so he cannot remove your kid to his country. The money thing sucks but honestly if you are lucky he will stay away and have his rights terminated.

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Then you are free from him and your son is safe. My cousin dated a nut who pulled a gun on her. She offered to waive all child support in order to get him to willingly terminate rights. It was the best decision she ever made.

Long-Oil-5681 − Sounds like you have proof of abandonment. Which lucky you, gets his passport flagged. He cannot reenter most western countries without getting into trouble with the police. If I were you, I'd get my lawyer yo draw up a divorce decree based on the abandonment and the fact that you strongly believe he will not be re-entering your country anytime soon.

Id have custody papers drafted as well, giving me full custody of the children. Once everything is finalized, if my work made it possible, I'd move states, since I'm in the USA, get a new phone number, new email, block him and his family on everything I could think of and set all my profiles to private.

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Id also get my kids into therapy so they can express anything they are going through and make it clear I did not want this outcome but their father has shown he is not a safe person and will do whatever he wants, regardless of the impact to others. You can still get divorced. You can still live a good life and raise your kids in a loving home. You are trying and that will matter so much more to your children.

These fiery responses slam the ex-husband’s cowardice and urge legal persistence, but do they address the mother’s emotional exhaustion? Is his flight a final betrayal, or a tactical dodge?

This update spins a tale of betrayal and tenacity, as a mother fights for her son against an ex-husband who fled responsibility with a smirk. His escape abroad raises a profound question: when does a parent’s battle for justice outweigh the pain of a broken family? Was she right to forge ahead, or could legal hurdles dim her hopes? Readers, what would you do if an ex vanished to dodge their duties? Share your thoughts—let’s tackle this heartbreak!

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